Page 92 of Your Side of the Offense

"And in the meantime, you fuck her whenever she wants and she goes back to Logan and fucks him too?" Harvey sneers.

Arch turns so fast, punching Harvey.

Fuck. We jump and hold Arch back.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I bark at Harvey. I don't know what the fuck his problem is.

"I don't care if you’re my best friend, I will fuck you up, asshole," Arch says Harv's way, and I agree with him.

"That was fucked up Harv," Jaden says.

"She’s playing with all of us!" he pants. "If she wants to be with him then she should be with him, but I am not with it if she thinks she is just fucking any person she wants to. And I don't know why any of you don't see the problem with that."

"I don't think she's fucking him," Arch says thoughtfully and we all look at him for answers.

"You can't be serious, right?" Harvey says.

"Nah, I don't think she is. I really don't think…" he trails off.

"Well, you are delusional." Harvey replies.

"Why does it fucking matter? She’s back with us. It's not like we haven't fucked anyone else." I remind them.

"Exactly and we aren't even in a relationship with those girls. Summer has been seeing this fool for over two months. You really think a guy like that isn't hitting?"

I’m on fire turning to the fridge and fish out a beer. I need one before I lose my shit.

"You just had to come up with the fucked-up shit, couldn't you?" Jaden says.

Arch disappears on the stairs.

"You are a fucking bastard," I tell him before I go to my room. I was having a great day till fucking Harvey. He’s in a crappier mood this morning and he had to ruin everyone else’s. I was fine not thinking about Summer fucking Logan.

***

Summer

I decide to go to the coffee shop and finally turn on my phone because I don't have any cash on me. I get a table and order a sandwich and coffee.

And as sure as shit, Logan sent a ton of messages. I am getting really tired. I don't even remember why I am still doing this, why I started.

Harvey cheated.

Yes, but everything seems so far away. I don't know if I’ve forgiven him or if it's because I have better perspective as a cheater too, but my guard is definitely lower now for the others.

I can't believe this is really me.

How quickly I threw my morals out of the window. Is this who I really am?

I did start playing Logan, and honestly, I thought I'd like him more. He’s a handsome great guy who respects me and he has been nothing but patient, but I just can't get there with him. I can't get to a place where I want to trust me with him.

He never stood a chance in my heart; I see that now. I know the plan to break up with him on Saturday, but what am I going to do with them?

And am I just jumping in bed with them, or do I want to jump back in the relationships? Am I ready for the intensity of the relationships with them? And what about me and Harvey? What about us? If they want the relationship back, is it going to just be an awkward thing with Harvey? Fuck.

I don't know what I'm going to do or what I want exactly. Other than the sex. Maybe I need to take time being single after Logan and figure myself out. I definitely need to find out who I am now. It seems I am capable of things I never thought I was.

Staying faithful was one of my immovable ideals. It’s why I couldn't even hear their explanations. To me, there is simply no excuse for cheating, and all cheaters go to hell because it's inexcusable.

---