Page 8 of Your Side of the Offense

I'm done.

I could have accepted a lot of things, but cheating wasn't one of them. I'm not willing to see past that. So as much as I still feel a lot, I'm too hurt.

This new journey isn't about them, anyway. It's about me and my quest for a new life. I worked my ass off to get here on merit. Even though I don't need a scholarship, it felt good securing one. Like this new journey was something I was doing for myself, with my own will and determination. Paying for it with my own sweat.

Something I would always claim as mine.

This is my first step to being who I want to be. I always knew I'd make it, even though I’m still not sure what my passion is. I mean, I like Economics, and it seems like a great major, but I wouldn't say it's what helps me get out of bed in the morning.

Jaden used to say it's because I'm good at so many things. Archer would say it's because I am supposed to be the first female president. Caleb would say it will come to me. And Harvey… no. No. I don't like thinking about him especially.

The shatterer of my heart.

Heat clogs my chest, tears burn the back of my eyes, and I blink as footsteps approach behind me. Opening the car door, I jump in, retrieve a handkerchief, and wipe my eyes away from my parents.

I take the sunglasses I keep close and put them on. I used them a lot when we were abroad. They hid a lot of my tears when my parents and I were sunbathing, as I cried into them. And if that wasn’t enough, I'd bury myself in a book and pretend I was reading.

If my parents or nana saw anything, they never said. It was my sister who'd hear me bitch about it sometimes in our hotel room when it got to be too much. Poor kid, she doesn't even know what boys are capable of yet and here I was ruining her first experience.

"Susu!" my grandmother's voice comes from the house, and I remember she isn't coming.

"Are you that desperate to leave that you even forget your grandmother," my father says as he rounds the car.

"You know she's going to pinch my cheeks," I groan.

"And probably give you the lucky dollar," my mother chuckles.

Jumping out, I sprint back to the house.

Wiping more tears as I enter, I lose the glasses, hoping I look fine. You would think she actually hasn't said goodbye to me, but she has been saying goodbye for a week. And this morning, she woke me up for a talk. A talk we've had a million times before. A talk about boys.

My parents haven't told her I dated all the boys. She thinks I only dated Archer. She liked Archer. My mom said she didn't want to deal with her reaction, and she had been right. The sex talks never stopped.

Normally I just laugh inside because if she only knew what her grandbaby used to do…

No. No more.

I find her sitting in front of the TV, watching a rerun of a reality show where there are ass-whoopings every five minutes. A show my parents and I have never understood why she likes. It's ratchet as hell. She got my sister into it and you will often find them huddled together rooting for their favorite wig snatcher.

I can’t say I relate, but that's my grandmother. Always surprising you in many ways. A true example of 'don't judge a book by its cover.'

"Were you really leaving without saying goodbye?"

"No, nana. I just went to put the cookies in the car so I didn't forget them. Remember?"

"Don't sass me, little girl. Come here." She opens her arms and I approach. Hugging her as she squeezes me.

I sigh, content. I may say a lot of things about her, but she loves me, a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. I am blessed to have grown up in a home full of love.

We pull apart, look at each other and she pinches my cheek. I mean, I was expecting it, but I'm always surprised too.

"Nana!" I sit next to her, and she pulls me under her arm.

Her face turns serious, so I collect my face too. Here we go.

"My baby, you are an adult now." This is how it always starts. Jesus, save me. "There is a lot of things that will tempt you and try to steer you away from your goals. Don't let them. Remember who you are and don't get lost in the sauce," she says in utmost seriousness.

I burst out laughing and she joins me.

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