"Maybe he was dealing with something. He looked sad. But he looked like he was straight from a wet dream. My clit almost jumped out, it wanted to kiss him."
I chuckle. "But it's no excuse for being shitty. You not even dating him yet, but you already making excuses for him. This is not what cousin Prisha would settle for."
She pokes at me, and I jump before she runs after me. I run all the way back to our dorm. Where we spend the night in our pajamas having a Netflix marathon.
We end up deciding to spend the weekend not at parties. Opting for some shopping at the mall on the other side of town and the salon on Saturday.
All in all, it's chilled vibes.
4
I FEEL IT COMING
Harvey
Two days in this place and I'm already bored out of my mind. I already hate college. Stealing these fifteen minutes is all I can do, with Jaden dragging us to these fucking parties every hour. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I ignore it because I know it's these mother fuckers asking about the damn food.
I would stay out longer if I wasn't hungry, too. My body is starting to feel the fatigue of the drugs and alcohol. But what can I do when remembering is all I do when I'm sober? Not that it helps because I still see her even when I'm high, but at least then sometimes I forget. I forget the pain and I see her smiling for me like she used to.
When I close my eyes, I see her jumping on top of me, trying to tickle me.
Her crying face flashes in my eyes and my heart crashes instantly.
"Fuck."
Fuck, not this again.
My chest constricts. Fuck. I need something.
Quickening my steps, I try to focus my mind on the blunt that's waiting for me at the house. The street of student houses has parties in many of them. Our house has a few cars parked out front and it's starting to fill with people.
Jaden is fucking doing this shit again. I don't care for social hierarchies. I care nothing for any of this shit. On top of that, these assholes decided we give her some space this week. I said that I was letting her go, but fuck that.
I know she doesn't want to see me, but fuck I want to. I want to so bad it feels like the need will fucking swallow me whole and spit me out as bones.
Will I ever get over it? Get over what happened.
Will I ever get over breaking her heart….
On good days, I wonder if she'll ever forgive me, if she can ever consider getting back together. But those are the worst. The hope is the worst. It's what keeps me in this cycle, even as I know I am slowly languishing.
I am a man walking in darkness. I need my light back. But I know it won't happen.
She won't forgive.
Faces turn to me as I walk in the driveway, a few smiling. We've already met some of them at Trevor's party. And what a party that was. But of course, all these people are here now. Sometimes I hate how easily we attract attention.
"Hey, Harvey," the high-pitched voice of the brunette who's been eye fucking me all day says.
I don't reciprocate anything. I mean, I've seen her fifty times. Fuck I look like?
Her face deflates, but fuck it. As I enter the house, another girl jumps before me. This one is drunk peering up at me.
"You are so hot." Her alcohol-filled breath wafts in my face, almost causing me to puke. Right in her face, too.
I know I drink all the time, but I hate that. When she elongates her hands to touch me, I move to the side and make sure I honor her with my coldest glare.
"Fuck you think you doing?"