Page 134 of Your Side of the Offense

"I still have the video and the doctor's results from the party."

The answer twists my insides for many reasons. "Doctor's results?"

"I had to have proof for the incident. And I didn't remember if she used a condom, so I had to make sure I was…straight," he answers simply.

Too simple for the content of his words. It just makes me feel shittier. Which is shitty in itself because he is the one who went through an ordeal, and I am centering myself in everything.

"I'm so fucking sorry that happened to you, Harv."

"Please don't say that anymore. It wasn't your fault." His fingers dance over my cheeks and I relish in the softness of his gaze.

I nod. We fall in silence afterward, standing there until it's too chilly and I ask to go home. He drives us back to campus and, after getting food, I ask to be dropped at my dorm. He walks me in and places the food on the desk.

"I'm just going to shower. I would like to not smell like a thousand armpits."

I walk to the bathroom, my shorts zipper already sliding down. I’ll need to burn them later. From now on they are a bad omen to me.

"Need help with your hair?" He leans on the frame, and I take a moment, considering what he is asking.

"Please."

He joins me as I throw the clothes in the laundry basket and takes his clothes off. We step into the warm shower together. He squirts shampoo in his hands and rubs it in my hair as the hot water beats down on us. Neither of us talk as he massages my scalp and rinses my hair.

I ask for a second wash because I feel filthy after all that time in the holding cell. I take my turn and wash his much shorter and straight hair. His takes a shorter time than mine, but he asks me to wash him twice too. We only smile at each other as we take turns rubbing each other with the loofah.

Nothing is particularly sexual. It isn't the lack of sexual tension, we’re just giving and serving one another, trying to ease ourselves back to the same page emotionally.

We are truly bare to each other. Others may have tagged along to what happened between me and Harvey, but it’s us who went through it and it’s us who did the most. It’s us who have constantly pushed the buttons and boundaries.

It’s us who tested the limits of our love. So this will not be rushed. All the feelings and everything in between will be honored, it will all be acknowledged, if we are to find true forgiveness and healing.

I pull him by the hand when we finish and dry him first. He stands there in all his glory, watching me intently. When I am finished, he towel dries me, then blows my hair with a hairdryer.

All four of them made it their job to understand my hair. The product it needs and how I care for it, so I don't need to tell him to give me six sleep braids. We choose to not entertain clothes and get in the tiny bed. Still silent.

I’m a little anxious when I remember our last conversation. The ball is essentially in his court, and I’m at his complete mercy. I know I should be, but it still sucks. I am willing to work on his time. We are on our sides, close but we aren't holding each other.

I wait for him to talk. He still hasn't told me how he found out where I was, or much at all. I am dying to know but I wait. Minutes pass by in silence. He just stares at me unhurriedly. I may be a little anxious, but it's a comfortable silence.

"My mother is getting married and Henry is having a baby," he starts. His dad is having another baby? I wait for him to continue before I attack with the questions.

"I hate Craig, but the board already made the decision. And I have to be there to show my support, otherwise…"

"Yeah." He doesn't need to finish. I know exactly how the Fords operate.

"Why do you hate him?"

"He put his hands on her," Harvey says with a dark note.

"What?"

"His company bought the 7% from Attech, bringing them to 41%, taking us out of majority four months ago, and to maintain our position, she was told to marry that scumbag."

"Shit, Harv, I'm so sorry." I know how devastating that would be for him. Power games in these companies are brutal. Harvey has wanted to take over his family business since he was little after seeing the mess his father made of it, then his uncle.

They took the family from a 74% stake in the company to 36%. A loss in generations of legacy to bad investments, harmful partnerships and shady agreements.

"He wants to have a baby with my mom."

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