Page 100 of Your Side of the Offense

The week with my family was the most relaxing I’ve in a while. It felt great to be away from my problems and all the people linked with my problems. My heart to heart with mom and grandma definitely helped. And as I look at the clouds flying over them, I realize all my worries are coming back the further I get from home.

My life is a mess, and it is my mess to fix. But maybe I need to have conversations with them. I need to talk to Logan, and I need to talk to Archer and Caleb. I need to sort my emotions out and I need to know where their heads are.

But first, I need to talk to Logan. I need to boss up and break up with him. It sucks but it has to be done. I told them I'm coming later because I need time to sort out my shit. I’ll talk to Logan then go to the guys. Maybe I’ll stay single after Logan and just see how that works out for me.

I land around 2 p.m. and am on campus an hour later. It feels nice to do things by myself..

I get to my dorm and shower to washing off all the germs I got on the way. Then put on black jeans and a black T-shirt and red sneakers. I tie my hair up high and bring some curls to fall on my forehead. After I put on light make up and a little fragrance, I decide to check on Hazel. I knock and she doesn't answer.

Well, maybe I'll see her before the party. I know it’s going to be a whole thing with everyone getting ready for the Halloween party. I still don't know what I'm going to do with the Catwoman costume. But I can’t keep feeling sad for him and string him along. I need to do this. With my phone still on Airplane mode, I cross the campus to Logan's place.

I really hope there isn't any drama. And I hope I can stand my ground this time, no matter what he says. I am not listening to any speeches or getting guilt tripped today. I am resolved.

I let myself in and find the house empty and quiet. Until a loud moan comes from upstairs. My feet carry me upstairs. And I chuckle a little when I realize it’s Haze.

Damn, she’s a loud one.

I go to the right where Logan's room is, ignoring Trevor's room two doors down. That is none of my business even if they have the door open a little. I need to tease her about it later. As I touch the knob to open Logan's room, Hazel yells louder.

I hear something that solidifies my insides.

"Fuck me, Lo."

My mouth opens and I am rooted in place. It couldn’t… Then I hear two separate grunts and groans. My feet carry me to the door, trembling as I get closer.

Hoping it isn't true.

"Oh god." I hear Haze again.

I only push the door slightly and see everything I was never supposed to see. Tears burn the back of my head, but I retreat without saying anything.

You always imagine these moments as a girlfriend. And everyone has things they say they’d do if they found themselves in this situation. Some say they would record, some say they’d fight the man, beat the girl, and pull out the pot of hot grits.

But in this moment, I just want to not be here. The walls are caving in and I can’t think. Like the devil has lit a fire under me, I put energy in my feet, tiptoe and run downstairs.

I close the main door, ensuring I am as quiet as possible.

What the fuck?

What in the actual fuck?

When I am far enough away, I turn off Airplane mode. My head still ringing a little. Cheated on again. Is that the girl I am?

I stop halfway to my dorm when I realize I am going to be alone. Turning back, I head to the other house even though I am not in the mood to talk.

I knock this time. If I’ve learned anything about what I just saw twenty minutes ago, it’s to always knock on people's houses.

I don't even know what I'm feeling right now.

Is it anger?

Is it betrayal?

Or is it just my ego that's bruised.

Maybe I thought I had Logan on lock, and he would never do that to me, and I just got proof that it’s me who has been a fool all along.

Am I hurt? Hurt that Logan and Hazel both made a fool out of me. I feel so fucking blindsided. How could I not see that coming?

---