Page 9 of Your Side of the Offense

"Nana!"

She shrugs. My nana is one of the funniest people I've ever met. She likes using modern lingo and somehow, always knows how to use it. She is the one person who can make me laugh no matter how I'm feeling.

"Don't laugh. Many pretty boys and girls there. Remember what I taught you now." She looks at me, expectant.

I sigh. "Always boss up."

She nods. "Always boss up."

Hugging me one last time, she kisses my cheeks and I kiss her back. She folds a dollar in my hand. The lucky dollar. She always gives us a dollar when we go anywhere for some time or when we are about to do something big.

It's tradition. If you're doing something, she gives you a dollar for good luck. I say it annoys me, but I appreciate it. It's like a physical manifestation of her love.

"I love you, nana."

"Yeah, yeah, text me when you arrive." She turns to the fight that just ensued on TV even though she's seen this episode a handful of times.

I roll my eyes before heading to the door, wishing my sister was here to see me off. But she and her friends are at a show in Dallas, supervised by one of the parents who was unlucky enough to babysit four 13-year-olds. She is going to be a freshman in my old high school, and I just hope my reputation doesn't affect her.

I could take a lot of things people said about me, but I don't know how I'm going to handle it happening to her. I did the best I could, tried to be honest. She knew about my relationship with the boys, and I told her everything, even though she's five years my junior. I can't wait for her to be old enough so we can drink together and go on trips, just us.

My parents are laughing about something as I jump in the car. These two, they have been in love for twenty years. Modeling a working, healthy relationship. It's one of the reasons I refuse to accept less. I know faithfulness is possible, a non-negotiable for me.

"Share the joke," I say as I fasten my seatbelt.

"Don't be nosy, Su," my father says.

My mother chuckles.

"Got your dollar?" she asks.

"Yup."

"She tell you to boss up?" My father laughs.

I smile. "You know that too?"

"Yeah. It's her go-to pep talk."

We drive to the airport, my mind slipping involuntarily to them. I wonder if they are on campus yet. I wonder many things I shouldn't.

I do this. I find myself thinking about them at random times, doing, saying random things and I have to punch at myself. Hating myself for not getting over them instantly like I wish I would.

"Su." My mother pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Hm?"

"You will see them."

My heart launches to my throat, and I look out the window. Why is she bringing it up?

"Mom, I don't want to talk about them."

My father is quiet as we slow down to wait in line to the airport parking.

"I know. I know. But I just want you to be fine, honey. It's been three months."

"Mom, I am fine."

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