Page 43 of Your Side of the Offense

"Leave us," Harvey says.

"You guys are missed downstairs. Tremaine challenged you to a game." She retreats.

Harvey and Jaden head downstairs and I stay a while here. I open the drawer, find his stash and crush the weed before I roll one.

I'm tired.

I haven't told the others but I'm tired of pretending I am into this shit that we’re doing. I am getting tired; I may not be spiraling like Archer, but I am tired.

I don't know when I fall asleep, but it’s sometime after the blunt. Something slaps my face lightly and I wake up to find Archer looming over me.

"The fuck?"

"You’re the one in my room like a creepy sleep paralysis demon," he says with a small smile.

"Sleep paralysis demon? The weed is frying your brain," I comment before I sit up. The sun is up too, and I yawn.

"What time is it?" I ask as he moves around changing his linen.

"Almost 8 a.m. Breakfast time."

You would say we are lying if I placed him last night next to this freshly bathed and clean-clothed, smells like fresh morning Archer.

I exhale loudly and my elbows meet my knees. I need to talk to him. I know we probably do need to sit with him. He can't continue like this.

"Arch…"

"Hm?" he tenses a little but doesn't turn to me.

"How can we help, man?"

Asking him what's wrong isn't going to help at this point, we all know what is wrong with him, but if he just tells us what we can do then we will do it for him. We'll do anything for him. We go to war for each other, and we stand by each other no matter what.

He doesn't answer immediately, just continues fluffing his pillows. Archer is the neatest. None of us are slobs but he takes the cake, sprinkled with a little OCD in his case.

"I don't know," he finally answers. He sits down and faces me at the edge of the bed. "I don't know, bro."

I swallow. What do I do with that? If he doesn't know then how can we help?

The door opens and Jaden walks in, Harvey behind him. Their eyes land on him and Jaden sits next to him. Harvey goes to lean by the window.

"Look, I know last night looked bad, I'm sorry. It’s…it's a lot for me. I don't know…"

Silence.

"What do you need to be okay?" Jaden asks looking at him.

Archer looks away and we get our answer. We can't help him because only she can put him out of his misery.

"Fuck, Arch, we’re still here. Can't you take care of yourself for us? We love you too and we are here," Jaden says, his voice sharp with frustration.

"You know it's different, Jay."

Silence again.

Indeed, we know.

13

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