Page 33 of Feels Like Home

“I feel like shit for being gruff with you.” Ian sighed as he entered the downtown area. “Just because you smiled and the tension disappeared doesn’t mean I feel less guilty.”

“You pissed me off!” Jace slapped a hand over his mouth, wondering where his boldness had come from. He wasn’t the confrontational type. Owen was proof of that. Jace had allowed the guy to get away with his behavior.

“That should’ve made you angry,” Ian agreed. “I had no right to take things out on you. Don’t ever be afraid to hand me my ass when I screw up.”

That outburst had felt…good. “My mom wanted me to invite you to dinner, but I’m not sure I should since I’m still upset at you.”

“I said hand me my ass, not torment me.” Ian frowned at him. “Damn, you’ve got claws.”

Jace had lost count of how many times he’d suppressed his irritation or anger when all he’d wanted to do was tell off the person who’d offended him.

Like Owen.

Or the girl who’d flirted with Ian at the ice cream hut.

Even before those two unpleasant jerks, Jace had bottled up his feelings. For eight long years he’d taken crap, afraid of verbally expressing himself. Not that he was offended often. But when it did happen, he’d kept his mouth shut.

The girl had been disrespectful, but Owen had been a downright asshole toward Jace for reasons Jace still didn’t understand.

But Ian’s rudeness had hurt the most, and something inside of Jace just couldn’t let it slide.

“I dated a guy named Tucker,” he told Ian. “At first, he said my shyness was cute. He used to make a game out of trying to get me to be more of an extrovert, especially in public.”

Ian glanced at him as they parked next to Jace’s car.

“After a couple of weeks, when Tucker saw his game wasn’t working, he became more aggressive and tried to force me to talk to people. He made it seem like he was being supportive, holding my hand while he thrust me into conversations with strangers.”

“Baby, I haven’t—”

Jace held up a finger, and Ian grew silent.

“He was the first guy I ever dated,” Jace continued. “I was so happy to finally have a boyfriend that I let things slide, but I knew his behavior was becoming borderline abusive. He never raised a hand to me. It was emotional abuse. Sometimes verbal.”

Ian scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Fuck.”

“I’m in no way saying you’re remotely like Tucker,” Jace clarified because Ian wasn’t.

“But when I snapped at you, I made you feel unsafe,” Ian concluded.

“No, you made me feel like your anger was the only feeling that mattered,” Jace corrected as he fisted his hands, fighting back tears. “You said we were mates, but…” He swallowed then forced the rest of his words out. “I’ll walk away from this before I let you treat me that way.”

It was the hardest thing Jace had ever said. He was used to biting his tongue. Had been doing it since the car accident.

But he really cared for Ian, and if their relationship was going to work, Jace had to set boundaries, which included opening his mouth and telling Ian when something was unacceptable or upsetting.

Ian remained quiet for a long moment. “Your feelings are just as valid and significant,” he finally said. “I’m truly sorry if I made you believe otherwise.”

Jace appreciated Ian’s ownership of his actions, instead of placing the blame on Nolan. Unlike Tucker, Ian didn’t try to defuse the situation with jokes or attempts at comforting gestures like handholding. His sincere apology went a long way in Jace’s forgiveness of him.

“Thank you.” Jace cleared his throat. “Your apology means a lot to me.”

“I want you to always let me know when I’ve made a mistake,” Ian said. “I care deeply about you and would never intentionally cause you any pain.”

“I believe you.” Jace glanced at Ian then smiled. “Would you like to come to dinner?”

“God, yes. I’m starving.” Just then, his stomach growled.

Jace chuckled. “Then let’s get to the bakery.”

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