“So, where did you get that bathing suit?”
He glanced back over his shoulder at me, and I didn’t think it was the sun that made his cheeks pink. “I bought it for the trip. Do you like it?”
Did I like it? Was that a trick question? It certainly wasn’t one I could answer truthfully. “Didn’t they have anything less… transparent? Perhaps in a larger size? With more material?”
Nicky laughed. “I wasn’t sure I’d have the balls to wear it, not in front of a crowd. But when I saw the beach was empty, I didn’t hesitate. It kind of feels amazing.”
It kind of looks amazing. “I’m glad you felt confident enough in it. You look good…” Fantastic. “But maybe we can get you another one to wear on the public beaches,” I suggested.
Before long, we pulled into a boat dock and maneuvered into a slip. I showed Nicky how to tie off the ropes. Barbuda wasn't heavily populated and didn't cater to tourism. This was where the locals lived, in tiny houses and even shacks. There was a market open every day and one restaurant. The menu was very limited—if you could even call it a menu. Bijou told you what she had, and you could eat it or leave. Everything was, of course, locally sourced, fresh, and absolutely delicious.
Today she was serving jumbo prawns and wild greens wrapped in rice paper and dipped in a mango chutney that might be the best thing I ever tasted. Nicky moaned over and over again, making me more uncomfortable than I was on the beach.
“Oh my God, Cass, I'm moving here. Fuck school and the rest of the world. I never want to leave this place.”
I chuckled. “I know how you feel. I have to fight myself to leave every time I come. But I told you we'd be back, and I meant it. There are so many other places I want to show you this summer. We've just begun.”
It would be so easy to get lost in his excitement, where everything felt like a brand-new experience. Seeing it through his eyes was intoxicating and Nicky was reminding me just how innocent, unworldly, and maybe even naïve he could be. Again, my protective instincts reared their ugly head. I've always felt like Nicky needed me, needed looking after, and that I was the man for the job. I convinced myself I understood him better than anyone, that we had some sort of special connection. Did we? Or was it all one-sided? Was I fooling myself because that's what I wanted to believe?
CHAPTER SIX
Saying goodbye can sometimes be difficult. Today, it felt nearly impossible.
Sam and I followed Nicky down the dock to the parking lot, and my chest felt tight as I watched him climb into his red Jetta. He rolled down the window, resting his arm on the door.
“I don’t want to leave. I had the best time this week, and I just don’t want it to end.”
In the ten years I’d known Nicky, I’d never once been able to say no to that sweet face. “You did an amazing job this week. I was so impressed with you. The way you helped out and were ready to learn. It's going to be a great summer.”
Nicky glowed from the praise. “Can I stay with you tonight?”
It was a simple question, so why did it feel so complex? Because you can’t stop thinking about his dick print in that Speedo. Why were my thoughts becoming so complicated where he was concerned? It shouldn’t be this way! It should be easy with Nicky. It always had been.
“Nicky, go home and check in with your dad. He’s missed you. Tell him about all the great things you did this week. I’ll pick you up first thing in the morning. Barbados is waiting to be explored.”
“Okay,” he agreed with a smile. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Pack a new bag with fresh clothes and leave that Speedo at home. Bring something… larger.”
Nicky giggled. Did he not realize I was serious?
“Cass?
“Yeah?”
“That was the best week of my life.” This time, he wasn’t amped with excitement. He said it calmly, shyly. Nicky was being sincere, and it squeezed my damn heart until I couldn’t take a deep breath.
“Just wait until next week,” I promised, leaning in to drop a kiss on his forehead. He turned his head like he was trying to catch my lips with his, and I pulled back abruptly, ignoring his disappointed look. I waved as he drove off.
“You ready?” Sam called from across the lot. I jogged over to his pickup truck and dropped my bags in the back. “Am I dropping you at your house? Or did you need to stop somewhere first?”
“Do you want to stay with me tonight?”
His expression changed from bored to really interested. “Yeah? Let me drive by my house and repack my bag, then we’ll pick up a pizza and head to your place. Sound good?”
I nodded. Sounds perfect.
With my belly full, I stripped off my clothes and stared at my reflection in the mirror, but there was no change in my appearance. Things only felt different on the inside, this nagging guilt at my inappropriate thoughts about Nicky eating away at my conscience. Sam appeared behind me. His dark stubble scratched over my skin as he brushed his lips across my shoulder.