Page 84 of The Darkness Within

“I-I don’t know. Sometimes. When I’m—” Nash squeezes the head of my cock, now engorged with blood and sensitive, and I gasp. “Lonely.”

“Lonely? What about when you’re not alone?”

“I’m—” My head is going to explode. Both heads. “Why would I use it when I’m with someone?” I buck my hips, driving my cockhead through his fist. A drop of precum drips out, staining the cotton. “I mean…I’m never with someone.”

“That’s the right answer,” he purrs, nipping at my neck, at my jaw. “What if you were with me? Would you use it with me?”

My eyes pop open, and he frames my chin in between his thumb and index fingers, turning my head to face him.

“You want to watch?”

“I want to watch,” he confirms, dropping a kiss on my lips. “I want to help,” he adds, nipping my bottom lip. “I’ve fantasized about it since I found it weeks ago. I’ve got to see it in person.”

“You’re…fuck, Nash, that’s…nasty.” The idea is already growing on me, exciting me, taking root in my imagination with fantasies of my own taking shape. “We could definitely make that happen.”

He grins down at me. “Yeah?”

I kiss away the smile from his mouth, replacing it with my lips. My tongue delves into his mouth, sliding along his, tasting him. He pops the head of my dick free of my briefs, leaving a sticky mess on my stomach that he swipes with his thumb. Nash pops it into his mouth and sucks my flavor, his grin growing more wicked.

“I want more of that.”

He dips his head and sucks the tip of my dick between his lips, making me shiver because it’s so sensitive. He laughs, loving my reaction, and does it again, exposing more of my shaft with each pass. I’m caught in his snare, lost to the magic of his mouth, and yet dying to get my hands on him. Nash runs his tongue underneath my foreskin, swirling it around my cockhead. It’s too sensitive, too good. I can’t take much more, not when I’ve waited so long.

“Let me touch you,” I rasp, eyeing the hard peaks of his nipples. I want to tease and torture every one of his senses, to draw this out and make it so good for him.

“Better not. I’m lucky to even be hard, let’s not tempt fate. You touch me and it’s all over.”

“Look at me,” I demand, holding his gaze. “No matter what happens, we’re in this together. Remember what you said about intimacy? How it’s not about sex, it’s about feeling comfortable with another person and baring your darkest secrets to them? If you lose your erection in the middle of this, that doesn’t mean it’s over. We’ll just improvise.”

“Deal,” he grins before taking me into his mouth again.

The incredible heat and suction of his mouth ramps up my arousal quickly. Seeing his big body curled in half over my lap, pleasuring me, finishes me off. I’m reaching my limit, my balls drawing up tight against my body. His tongue traces along the vein on the underside of my shaft, making my damn toes curl. I don’t even care how loud I am, groaning and gasping, my breath coming hard and fast, like I’m about to.

“Okay, enough,” I pant, pushing at his head.

He sits up on his knees and strokes his cock as his eyes roam my body. “I like this,” he says, bending to nip at the tattoo covering my hip. The NA symbol with sticks marked off to demarcate my clean time in months.

Rolling onto my side, I show him the ones on my back. Beneath a rainbow is the date I came out. Below that, covering my ribs, is the Army crest and me and my buddy Eric’s ID numbers. Nash kisses each one, as if learning them with his tongue.

He urges me to my back again and positions himself between my legs. Nash runs his hands up and down my thighs before hooking them behind my knees and scooting me forward, so that my ass kisses his cock. It’s not my favorite position, mostly because it leaves me feeling vulnerable and I don’t usually fuck guys I feel a soul-deep connection with. But with Nash, I don’t mind feeling exposed. I’m at his mercy in more ways than one that have nothing to do with the position I’m lying in.

“I want you just like this, so I can watch your face, and kiss you, and hold you in my arms.”

Yeah, this position works fine for me.

He has a small bottle of lube ready in his hand and smears it over his shaft with one hand while his other hand rubs over my stomach. I love that he wants to touch me, that he loves what he sees. I’m nowhere near as cut and toned as he is, even with the muscle tone he lost recently. My chest and stomach are furred with a scatter of dark hair, whereas Nash is smooth. Our differences are numerous, and yet we’re perfectly matched.

“Feels like I’ve waited a lifetime for this. It’s a shame it’s gonna be over so soon.”

Swallowing nervously, I look into his eyes, pulling his gaze from my body, and venture, “Hopefully, we have the rest of our lives to do it again and again.”

Nash’s eyes soften, and he leans down to take my lips in a soft, yet searing kiss that turns my bones liquid.

“I hope you mean that,” he breathes over my lips, “because I’m not going anywhere.”

Then he straightens up, leaning back on his haunches to peer between my thighs. He slides his slippery fingers between my cheeks, tracing up and down the dark crease, and with each pass over my tight pucker, I clench, hungry to be penetrated. He taps my hole before pushing his finger inside in a twisting motion that rubs against my inner walls in a way that sends thousands of tiny electric sparks shooting through my system. My body feels awake, alive with need and heat.

“This is what I’m gonna do to you with the bullet. Watch it sink in and out of your body. Listen to you beg for more as I slowly drive you insane.”

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