Page 57 of The Darkness Within

“What are we doing here?” Mandy asks, sounding genuinely confused.

“Picking out a plant,” I say, pointing out the obvious.

“You don’t own anything but clothes, and the first thing you want to buy for yourself is a plant? What am I missing?”

Exhaling loudly, my shoulders sag, and I roll my neck back-and-forth. “Brewer and I made a deal. He’s willing to waive the one-year ban on relationships and reduce it to six months if I can keep a plant alive.”

“That’s it?”

“And go to meetings, therapy, take my meds, do my step work, go to group, and stay clean.”

“Damn, that’s a lot. But what’s the plant got to do with it?”

“I don’t know. He has some half-baked idea about if I can keep it alive, I’m not a total lost cause.”

“So then what? What happens in six months if you’re still clean and your plant is still alive?”

“I guess I can start dating.”

“Is that important to you? Or is it just the idea of dating a certain therapist with wavy brown hair, dark, brooding eyes, and some fancy degrees hanging on his office walls?”

“What makes you think I’m doing this for Brewer?”

“Because I was there when you met him and I saw the way you looked at each other. Oh, and the way you tripped all over yourself and forgot your name.”

“I didn’t forget my name,” I protest, trying not to sound embarrassed.

“Let me see if I can remember how you put it. Oh yeah, I’m N-Nash. Nashville. Nashville Sommers. Aiden. Nashville Aiden Sommers, Sergeant, but you can call me Nash.”

He’s a fucking dick, but when he blinks his eyelashes coquettishly, I can’t help but laugh. “I definitely didn’t sound like that. Help me pick out a plant.”

“So, what are we looking for?”

“Something I can’t kill. Something low maintenance and hearty.”

Mandy snorts. “That’s a ringing endorsement for your capabilities.”

“I never said I had a green thumb. I just need something I can’t kill in six months. Nothing delicate.”

“What about this guy?” Mandy points to a snake plant, rubbing his fingers down the long variegated spiky leaves.

“No, it looks weird. This one?” I point to a bushy plant with colorful leaves.

“I like the red.”

“Forget it. Looks too tropical, too exotic. What about this guy?” I ask.

“Looks a little Charlie Brownish. I count seven pine needles.”

Frustration and anxiety begins to cripple my head, making me feel rushed and unfocused. “Ugh, why is this so difficult?”

“I don’t think it is. I think you’re making it harder than you need to.”

My heart rate spikes, causing a stabbing pain in my chest that feels like I’m having a damn heart attack. “I gotta get out of here.”

“You okay?” Mandy looks concerned, setting down the plant in his hands and coming closer. He takes my wrist and places two fingers over my pulse.

“It’s the smell of all this dirt, it makes me think of… Yeah, no I can’t.” The saliva in my mouth thickens to a bitter paste.

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