Page 77 of Hemlock

"I want to stay," I confess.

"Yeah?"

I hate the surprise I hear in his voice, as if he thought I’d be able to walk away. It seems we both have some things to work on as far as showing the other how we feel.

"I don't deserve you," he whispers, his throat working, sadness in his eyes, as if he thinks this is the beginning of some long goodbye.

I shake my head, hands coming up on either side of his face. "Yes, you do. I may not know you well, Pax Hart, but I know you're a good man. We deserve to be happy together."

"It won't always be easy," he warns.

"It hasn't been from the beginning," I remind him. "Yet here we are."

"Here we are," he echoes. "I hope you know what you're getting into with me."

"A life of frustration, annoyance, and irritation because you're stubborn and set in your ways?"

I swear when he laughs it's as if the angels in heaven are playing the music.

"I like that," I tell him. "It sounds good coming from you."

"And it doesn't feel as awkward when you're the one to witness it."

"We'll eventually have to talk about the restrictions I already know will be in place. I don't know how I feel about being supervised all the time."

"Having protection is non-negotiable," he says, his tone as serious as it always is, all hints of laughter quickly fading away.

"We'll see," I tell him because there's no sense in arguing now about a situation that hasn't arisen yet.

"Zara," he growls, warning in his tone, but all I do is smile a little wider until a thought strikes me.

"What happens to me if you grow tired of me and I've heard things and seen things?"

He tilts his head, and confusion is clear in his multicolored eyes.

"We're not the criminal element here, sweetheart."

Sweetheart.

I swear I swoon standing right here with the endearment, but despite being as solid as a rock and as equally unmovable, it doesn't sound foreign or forced coming from him.

"So I'll be safe?"

"I'll always protect you, but I'm not getting into this thinking that it's going to end one day."

"Me either," I tell him with complete honesty.

"I have one more confession," he says, taking a step back, making me wonder if he's managed to get me to fall head over heels for him only to rip the rug right out from under my feet. "I need you. Not only do I crave your closeness, but you also somehow provide me with a sense of calm. I felt that the first moment I walked up to you at the bar. As corny or unbelievable as it might sound, you ease something inside of me that only violence had the ability to silence."

I watch as he struggles with admitting this, and I know he might see it as just another weakness I am to him, and I still don't know how to feel about that. Weren't couples supposed to be stronger together?

"I'm telling you this because there will come a time when no matter if you're angry with me, I'll need you. I'll want my arms around you or I'll need you beside me in bed. I don't feel what most people would describe as normal unless you're around."

I take all of this in, trying my best to understand what he's saying, but the reasoning sounds foreign to me. I know it's just one more aspect of us that I'll need to take some time understanding, but it doesn't change anything for me.

There will be times he needs to hold me in his arms because that's what makes him feel better. Hell, who can't say that about the one they care for? Looking at it that way doesn't seem so strange after all.

"I think I'll be okay with that," I say, giving him yet another smile.

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