Page 90 of Moros

I rushed over to the wall and flipped off the lights, plunging the room into a soft darkness being interrupted by calm shades of moonlight.

When I was back to him again, he exhaled.

“That’s not how it works.” Khadri panted. “I don’t want you because you think that’s going to help me not be in pain.”

“Fine, then do you want me because it’s what I want?”

Khadri tried getting off the stool, but I wouldn’t back up.

“He touched you, Ryanne.” Khadri shook his head.

“I told you! Shit! Men are so fucking stubborn!”

“Are you trying to wake the whole damn house?” He growled.

I frowned.

“No—I’m trying to get you to fuck me.”

Khadri moved me out of the way and walked by me to put his mug in the sink. He gripped the sides of the sink with both hands so hard, the muscles in his arms stood out to the point of almost pulsing.

Not wanting to give up, I approached, slowly.

I pressed my palms to his back, dragged them up to his shoulders then down again. Leaning, in, I slipped my palms around him and rested my cheek against his back.

“If you don’t want to.” I managed. “I can just hold you. We don’t—I’m sorry, we don’t have to.”

When he exhaled, I could feel his body almost deflate.

“Let me do this for you, Khadri.”

He turned and looked down at me.

I couldn’t see his expression because of the dark so I took his hand and led him from the kitchen and up the stairs to my bedroom. Instead of getting the ceiling light, I flipped on the bedside lamp that was not as bright and sat on the edge of my bed.

He stared down at me and all I could feel was shame.

“That night, when I was stepping into the car, Todd touched my back.” I hung my head to pick at my fingers. “I felt nothing. But with you, you brushed by me and my entire body—I mean my nipples grew hard just having you stare at me and with Todd?—”

I looked up to see his eyes were closed and he was shaking his head.

“Okay—okay, I won’t talk about him anymore. I just want you to know that my body is tuned to you.” I pointed out. “And only to you. But if you can’t trust me again, and if you can’t touch me because you still think he did, then I won’t expect anything else from?—”

Khadri curled his fingers at the back of my neck and sucked my sadness into his mouth. He kissed me roughly almost as if he was punishing me for what I’d done.

Groaning, I tilted my neck back, willingly taking what he was giving me and allowing him to take from me what he needed.

Khadri eased me backward into the bed and climbed over me. I melted into the bed and sighed as our eyes met—the look he was staring at me with was new.

It was cautious, careful.

“I can wait.” I told him. “My body misses you but, I promise, I can wait.”

He nodded, but only kissed me again.

Then he stretched his body along mine—his full, hard frame crushing mine sweetly into the bed. The weight of him was familiar and welcomed.

As the tears rolled down my cheek, all I seemed to be able to do was apologize. The words toppled from my lips over and over as he kissed me, touched me, peeled my clothes from my body until he was kneeling over my naked body.

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