Page 19 of Naughtying Up St. Nick

Why did the thought of love enter my mind when we were having sex? This was supposed to be an arrangement that we both walked away from when it was time. But now? Now, I feel my heart wanting to stay with him. I want Cal to be mine. I want him to want me.

But there’s no way that he could. He approached me for sex, to help him get over his ex. He doesn’t want me for me. He wants me for what I can do for him.

I don’t want to have that conversation with him. Don’t want to hear those words come out of his mouth. No, it’s better if I just push him back to the arm’s-length he was at before. Then maybe it won’t hurt too much.

Eleven

Calvin

We’re supposed to have the next few days off before we start helping tear down the Christmas village to put everything in storage until next year, but we wake to a flurry of texts from Jacklyn. She demands we both get down there now and help break it down today.

We don’t talk much as we get ready, and when Harlow and I head for the village, I can tell something’s bothering him. I try to ask him about it, but he gives one-syllable answers the entire ride.

I try not to let it bother me, but it has my stomach tying into knots. Jesse must’ve been right. I let myself get comfortable with Harlow, and he probably thought Jesse was just out of his mind, but now he knows my ex was right.

Now Harlow’s not going to want anything to do with me, not even friendship when we start UCLA next month.

By the time he pulls his truck into the parking lot of the village, I just want to get out and away from this awkward silence.

I swing the door open and climb out of the truck to come face-to-face with Aubrey. She gives me a smile, but it’s strained as hell.

“Did you have a good Christmas?” she asks.

“Yeah, you?”

“Mmhmm.” She glances over her shoulder as if she’s looking for someone, then she lowers her voice and leans closer as Harlow joins us. “Jacklyn is pissed off. Someone vandalized the front of the fence, and she thinks it’s one of the kids who came through here over the last couple of days. I told her it was all the same kids who’ve been coming here for years. Then I might’ve mentioned that this place had never been vandalized before she took it over.”

Harlow lets out a long sigh. “Great. I’m really looking forward to this witch hunt.”

Aubrey hesitates a second before saying, “I could try talking to her again. You guys could just start breaking the set down.”

“No, I’ll talk to her,” Harlow says.

He takes a step, but I grab his hand before he can get too far. I know that Jacklyn’s not going to hurt him, but I can’t help feeling like I shouldn’t let him go.

“I can come with you,” I say.

Harlow pulls his hand from my grasp. “I got it.”

“Harlow—”

“Back off.” His voice drops, and I see the anger in his eyes even though he tries to disguise it.

Aubrey glances between us, her forehead wrinkled in concern.

“I just want to help,” I mumble.

“Well, I don’t need your help. Just stay with Aubrey.”

“Yeah, I’ll, um, I’ll be over here.” Aubrey hurries off to start unwinding the garland from around the fence on the right side of the parking lot.

“Is this about last night?” I ask, hating that my voice is shaky. It’s not like I’m scared of his answer. Mostly.

“Nothing about last night matters,” Harlow says. “Because it’s over now, remember?”

I don’t point out that we said New Year’s Day. My throat feels too tight to speak anyway. How could he say that nothing about last night matters when it meant so much to me?

Harlow lets out a breath and softens his voice. “Look, Cal, you have nothing to worry about, okay? Your ex was lying to you. You were great, I promise.”

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