Page 20 of Naughtying Up St. Nick

I swallow around the band in my throat that’s trying to cut off my oxygen. “Then why are you dumping me?”

The muscle in his jaw clenches, but he doesn’t look angry. “I’m not dumping you; we were never together. And it’s better this way, all right? Now, I have to go take care of whatever’s going on with Jacklyn. I’ll see you later.”

It’s such a clear dismissal that I can’t do anything but turn away from him.

I don’t want to work. I don’t want to be around Aubrey while she chatters endlessly. But I still find myself walking over there and helping her dismantle the garland.

Fortunately, she doesn’t speak to me. I guess she can sense it. At least I hope that’s what it is and she didn’t hear what we were talking about.

After a half hour of silence, Aubrey finally says softly, “It’s okay if you want to get out of here. I’ve got this. And you probably don’t want to be here for whatever’s going to go down between Harlow and Jacklyn.”

My first instinct is to tell her I’ll stay. After what Harlow told me about his sister, I want to be here for him. I want him to remember he has someone in his corner, someone who believes him and is rooting for him.

But he doesn’t want me around.

So I text Min and ask her to pick me up in the rental car. She answers immediately to tell me she’s on the way.

“I’ve got a friend coming to get me,” I tell Aubrey. “She should be here in a few minutes.”

Aubrey nods, and I expect to work in silence until Min gets here, but Aubrey starts talking in that same quiet voice.

“I don’t know what happened between you and Harlow, but he’s the best guy there is. I’ve never seen him as happy as he’s been the last couple weeks that he’s been around you. I know it’s none of my business, but I love him, and I just… Well, just don’t give up on him.”

I nod to show her I heard her, but I have no idea what to do with her words. How am I supposed to hang onto someone who doesn’t want me anymore?

***

“What did he do?” Min demands as soon as I get in the passenger seat of our rented Volvo.

“He didn’t do anything,” I say, jerking my seatbelt and clicking it into place. “I just want to get out of here.”

“Right. You’ve been bouncing around excitedly to be around him over the last couple weeks and now you want to leave, and he supposedly hasn’t done anything?”

“Just leave it alone.”

“Did he hurt you?” Her voice is dead quiet, and I think she might be one second away from launching out of the car and going after him.

“No, he didn’t hurt me. We had an argument; his sister’s pissed because something was vandalized here, and I just want to go.”

Her lips press into a thin line, but she puts the car in reverse and backs out of the parking lot.

Silence fills the car as she starts the drive back to our rental house while I let the conversation with Harlow play on repeat in my head.

I know he lashed out because he’s upset, but he spent the last two weeks telling me I deserve better than Jesse, so I deserve better than that, right?

But what if I want to try again? What if I want to try to make him see that we’re really good together. What if I want to tell him that I’ve never felt anything like what I feel with him before?

The car stops, and I glance up to find we’re in front of the house we’ve been renting for the last few weeks. It’s nothing special—just a short one-story that stands up the Idaho winters. But right now, it looks like a haven.

I get out of the car, and I hear Min doing the same, but I don’t look back at her. I just unlock the front door and go inside.

I pass the kitchen and head back to my bedroom. My stomach is in knots, and I feel sick. My break-up with Jesse didn’t feel like this. His was painful and the reasoning behind it was embarrassing, but it didn’t feel like I was going to die.

“Cal?” Min stands in my doorway, her voice soft. “Tell me what happened.”

I don’t want to. I don’t want to bring up the whole thing with Jesse and what I asked Harlow to do that night in the parking lot of the village. I don’t want to see pity on her face.

But I also want to talk to someone about it. Min won’t be the most objective since we’ve been friends for so long, but she’s good at solving problems.

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