I laugh as warm relief floods me. “Well, give me fifteen minutes, and you can do whatever you want again.”
“Great.” He straddles my legs and leans forward so his face is over mine. “Because I’ve been dying to taste your cock.”
The idea of his mouth on me has me begging my body to hurry the fuck up and get ready for round two. And I realize that the more we do this, the higher the chances are that Calvin will ruin me for any other man.
And I’m going to let him.
Nine
Calvin
The kind of telescope Harlow’s looking for isn’t available in any of the stores in our small hometown, so we drive into Boise on the weekend. It’s an hour-long ride, and to my surprise, Harlow plays Christmas songs on the radio for most of the drive. He keeps the volume low in case I start talking, but I don’t.
The truth is, I feel a little uncomfortable right now, just like I did the day after he gave me that blowjob, but it’s worse this time. I just don’t know what to say to someone who’s seen me like that. Jesse and I didn’t really talk afterwards, except for him to insult me and give me massive self-confidence issues.
But Harlow’s just so…chill about everything. Other than Jacklyn. I bet I could be the worst lay he’s ever had, and he wouldn’t tell me. Which is strange since the whole reason I started this was to get an honest second opinion. I just didn’t realize Harlow was damn nice.
“You’re really quiet today,” Harlow says as we pass another mile marker along the interstate. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” That’s another thing I didn’t count on—the way Harlow’s attuned to other people. I’d noticed how he seemed to know everyone and what they were doing back in high school, but I’d thought it was a popularity thing. I didn’t realize it was a part of his personality.
“You sure?” Harlow asks. “Because I want to make sure last night wasn’t too much.”
My face warms. I’m guessing that’s not something he asks everyone he ever invites over. “No, there was no problem with last night.”
He’s quiet for a second, and I keep my stare focused out the windshield. I hate this. I don’t want to make things awkward between us.
After a minute of silence, Harlow says, “Your ex was one hundred percent wrong about you.”
His voice is low, heating my blood at a dangerous speed. I do my best to push the thought aside.
“You can’t really know that,” I say, relieved my voice doesn’t show what his words are doing to me. “We haven’t slept together.”
“Cal, I can tell you right now that he’s wrong.” He flips the turn signal on and slows the truck as he takes the exit for Boise. “You chose me because you knew I’d be honest with you, right? Well, I’m being honest right now.”
I should be relieved to hear this, to learn that someone with experience like Harlow thinks Jesse was wrong. So why does it make my stomach twist?
I clear my throat. “You must think this is pathetic.”
“I don’t,” he replies, easing to a stop at a red light. “You were with an asshole who fucked with your self-confidence. It happens. It’s human nature to not want to experience something so upsetting again.”
“Were you this understanding in high school?” I ask.
Harlow laughs. “I’d like to hope so, but who knows? It’s only been four years.”
I glance down at my hands in my lap and risk bringing up the topic of his sister. “Jacklyn doesn’t seem to have changed much since high school.”
Harlow guides the truck into the parking lot of the store and kills the engine but doesn’t make a move to get out of the vehicle. “If you want to ask something, ask it.”
I swallow as best I can with the sudden tightness in my throat. But I have to know. After everything I’ve learned about Harlow over the last week, there’s just too much that doesn’t add up.
“You didn’t copy your sister’s paper back in freshman year, did you?”
The words fall like a weight between us, and I expect Harlow to shut me down like he did the last time I tried to pry about Jacklyn. But when he sighs, I realize I wasn’t wrong about last night—about something changing between us. Harlow felt it too. Despite the short passage of time, we’re forming something outside of what’s happening between us in the bedroom.
“No,” Harlow says finally, his voice loud in the silence. “I didn’t copy her paper. She copied mine, and I…I didn’t tell because she was my sister and she swore she wouldn’t do it again.”
“Did she?” I almost don’t want to ask that. Jacklyn may be a little high-strung, but I always looked up to her in a way. The full-ride scholarship, the awards. She seemed to always know what she was doing. Maybe she did. But her plan was more about taking advantage of her little brother.