Page 84 of Don't Quit the Day Job

"I would never ask you such a thing."

"Good, because I'm not doing that with you right now," she says, giggling.

I feel disappointed. "But why not? You're supposed to be wooing me and getting to know me better."

"I think I know you pretty well already, Lila. My cock was inside of you all of last night. I think it could describe every inch of your vagina walls if it had to."

"Max!" she squeals.

"What? I'm just saying. It was very warm and loving. Thank you for keeping my cock safe."

"You're stupid. You know that?"

"I do," I laugh. "And I should let you go."

"Really? You woke me up for like a five-minute conversation?"

"Well, we can chat if you want."

"I'd love to chat. What do you want to chat about?"

"Let's chat about our favorite books."

"Okay, but I don't want you to fall asleep. I don't know that I read anything that you would find interesting."

"I don't mind falling asleep on the phone with you," she says softly. “I mean, if you fell asleep with your cock inside of me, I think we can fall asleep on the phone together."

"That sounds good to me," I say, and she starts telling me about her favorite book. I smile as I listen to her, my eyes closing. She has a beautiful, melodious voice, and I know that I'm falling for her. I also know that this is probably the very worst timing.

"There you are, Marie," I say as I pick my sister up from the airport. She's standing there with two big suitcases and looks just as innocent and beautiful as I remember. She runs into my arms and gives me a big hug.

"Oh my gosh, Max, I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too," I say. "Is everything okay?" I look at her face. "You have to tell me what's going on, okay? You've had me very nervous and I'm sure Dad and your mom are freaking out."

"I don't ever want to go back. I'm not going back. Promise me I don't have to go back."

"You're making me very nervous. What is going on?"

"I don't want you to judge me."

"Marie?"

"Please don't judge me." She starts crying and my heart immediately breaks.

"What is going on?" I press. I grab her hand and pull her to the side.

"Max?"

"Yes?"

"I'm pregnant."

"What?" I stare at her in shock and let go of her hand. "You’re what?" I stare at my little baby sister who is looking more and more like a woman than I've ever remembered. "Is this a joke? Is it April and I didn't realize?"

"It's not a joke. I'm pregnant." She looks at me nervously. "Are you disappointed?"

I let out a deep sigh? "Does my dad know? Does your mom know?"

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