Page 81 of Don't Quit the Day Job

"Sorry, I was watching a serial killer show on Netflix the other day, and?—"

"I don't want to hear about it." I take a deep breath. "So, I know I shouldn't keep talking about him, but…"

"But nothing. I'm here for you. I love you Lila."

"I know. Do you think he used me? Do you think he just wanted to have sex and?—"

"No," she says. "I really don't think that. And you know I'm not the sort of person to lie about that because I know there are plenty of men out here who will fuck you and never talk to you again. I just don't get that vibe from him."

"But you've never even met him."

"But from what you've said to me, and based on the fact that he's responding so quickly, I think he is just focused on his work stuff and other stuff right now. Men aren't like us, Lila. Men don't have sex one time and become completely obsessed with their partner."

"I'm not completely obsessed with him."

"I know you're not obsessed with him, but you did just tell me that he's from South Carolina and that his family raised horses and that?—"

"Okay, fine, so I Googled him and I know a little bit of information about him. That doesn't mean I'm obsessed with him. I mean, I couldn't find any information about any of the women he's dated."

"But I bet you spent a long time looking."

"Only half the afternoon," I say, laughing. "I mean, it wasn't like I had much work to do." I grin. "Fine, okay. Maybe I'm getting close to stalker status, but I just kind of want to know where this is going. I mean, not that I think it's going anywhere, but?—"

"Lila, take a deep breath. You're fine."

"I know. So what else should we talk about?"

"Do you have any other auditions coming up?" she asks. "How's the acting going?"

"I haven't even been looking, to be honest. I've been so focused on trying to do a good job and thinking about Mrs. Whittington and her divorce, which her husband hasn’t even told her about, by the way, I guess I just haven't really?—"

"Lila," Zara interrupts, shaking her head. "You cannot forget about your acting dream because of this job. You need to still keep going on auditions. You need to keep looking. Remember what your true goal in life is. This is why I want you to come and live with me. This is why?—"

"No," I say. "I have to be Ms. Independent now. I have to take care of myself and if I'm going to make it?—"

"Then make it."

"But it will have to be on my own timeline, and right now, I need to focus. I need to focus on paying my bills and buying some furniture. And well, yeah, I kind of like working with Max and I kind of want to see where this thing between us goes."

"Girl, just five seconds ago you were saying you felt like he used you."

"Okay, so maybe I don't think that exactly. Maybe I'm just a little bit overwhelmed by how quickly everything has been moving and by just how strongly I feel about him."

"Are you falling for him, Lila?"

"No," I say, and finish my margarita quickly.

"That's a lie," she says. "I can tell."

"I'm not falling for him, Zara, I've already fallen. I think of his silky blonde hair and the way it felt on my fingertips. I think about the way that he looks at me and makes me wetter than a water park. I think about the way his lips have sucked and touched me. I think about waking up with him inside of me." How could a woman not be obsessed with a man who had integrated himself so fully into her life so quickly? How could I not be obsessed with him? He’s far from perfect, but he’s perfect for me. As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I want to groan. Everything about this situation is cringe worthy, and yet, I love it. "I think I'm falling in love with him." I stare at her and she finishes her margarita without saying anything. “Tell me the truth, do you think I'm crazy?"

"Do I think you're crazy because you're falling in love with a man you barely know? Do you even know his middle name?"

"He doesn't have one. Well, at least Google says he doesn’t."

"See? All the information you really know about him is from Google. You can't be falling in love with a man you haven't even gone on a date with."

"Well, we slept together."

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