Page 60 of Don't Quit the Day Job

"Can you talk to me for a second?" she asks, sounding upset.

"I'm just about to take a class. Can it wait?"

"Please, Max. I need to talk to you for just one second. Please."

"Fine," I say, letting out a deep sigh. I point to the phone, look over at Lila, then head back outside.

"Hey, what's going on? Is everything okay?"

"I have to come in a couple of days. I can't wait until next week."

"What's going on, Marie?"

"I don't want to tell you, but it's really serious and I don't want you to be mad at me and I don't want you to judge me, but?—"

"Marie, what's going on? Tell me now."

"I'm not going to tell you till I get there, okay? Please let me come in two days. Please let me stay with you. I can't stand it here anymore."

"Of course, you know you always have a home with me, no questions asked." I take a deep breath. "Send me your flight information and I'll pick you up at the airport."

"Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. I love you, Max."

"I love you too. Okay. I don't want to miss the beginning of this class, so I'll talk to you later?"

"Okay," she hiccups. "I'll email you the information for the flight. Oh, and can I use your credit card?"

"I assumed that's what you were going to do," I say, laughing.

"And Max?"

"Yes, you can book a first class ticket," I say. She bursts out laughing.

"How can you read my mind?"

"I don't know. Maybe my new assistant passed her powers on to me," I say, chuckling slightly.

"What?" Marie sounds confused.

"Nothing. I'll talk to you later." I hang up the phone and head back inside to the class. As soon as I walk in, I see all the women looking over at me. I search for Lila and find her grinning at me.

"Hey, darling," she says. "I'm so glad you made it before the class started."

"Hey," I say, feeling very confused at her words. Did she just call me darling? She blows me a kiss and I realize that something is really off.

"Come sit next to me. I saved you a bike, my love."

"Um, okay," I say, heading over to the other side of the room. As I get closer to her, I lower my voice. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean what's going on, Goofy? You're my adoring boyfriend and I'm so grateful that you took this class with me."

"Um, okay," I say, getting onto the bike. I look around and see all the women looking at Lila enviously, including one that looks suspiciously like Lucinda Whittington from the Google photographs that Lila had showed me previously. I don't know what happened while I was outside, but if she wants to pretend that I’m her boyfriend, I’m not going to say no.

The class goes by much faster than I thought it would, and I also enjoy it a lot more than I thought it would. Lila, however, looks absolutely exhausted by the time the teacher starts clapping and telling us to congratulate ourselves.

"You guys killed it. Who wants to go again?" the teacher says. A bunch of the women start clapping and screaming, but Lila just moans. I get off the bike and walk over to her and rub her back. "You okay?"

"I am literally exhausted," she says. Her face is bright red and blotchy and I can't help but chuckle slightly. "It's not funny. I'm so out of shape."

---