Page 42 of Don't Quit the Day Job

"Hey, you up?"

I immediately call her.

"Hey," she answers, whispering. "How are you?"

"What do you mean how am I? You're not my grandma."

"What's up, bitch?" Zara says, and we both burst out laughing. We rarely speak to each other like that, but when we do it always makes us laugh. "I was just thinking about you," she says.

"Oh? Before or after your crazy love making with your absolutely gorgeous rich fiancé?"

"Goofy, he's working. Plus, if I was in bed with him, I would definitely not be thinking about you. No offense."

"No offense taken. Thank you very much," I say, giggling. "I was just looking at my apartment and thinking how bare it is and—wait. Do not offer to buy me furniture."

She giggles. "You know me too well."

"Of course I do. I'm your best friend. Duh."

"You are," she says. "But come on. I can get you a couch and a table and?—"

"No, I want to do it on my own. I want to have the exhilaration of scrimping and saving, and?—"

"It's really not all it's made out to be," she says, laughing. "You and I both know that."

"I know, but I feel like I want something to be proud of, you know?"

"Lila, what are you talking about? You have so many things to be proud of. You are absolutely amazing. You?—"

"And I'm mad at myself, Zara."

"Oh, no. Why are you mad?"

"I'm upset that I didn't go to the audition. I mean, even if I didn't get the role, I still should have tried. I can't just not go."

"I know," she says. "But obviously you didn't go for a reason."

"I think because when I saw that long line of women, I really didn't think I was going to get the role and I really knew I needed to get a job. But if I want to be an actress, that has to come first. Even if I can't eat, that has to come first."

"Lila, I love you, but I'm not going to let you be a starving artist, okay? If you can't eat, I will be buying you groceries. I don't care what you say."

"Fine," I giggle. "If I can't afford groceries, I will let you buy them for me, but then I will pay you back when I make it as an A-list star…or B-list, or even C-list."

"Girl, aim for the stars," Zara says. "No one aims to be a C-list star."

"Hey, when you're a zero star, you'd be very happy to be a C-list," I say, laughing. I twirl around the room, my hands in the air as I hold the phone out on speaker. "Can you hear me?" I ask.

"Yeah, what are you doing?"

"I'm just dancing around my very own apartment like I’m Audrey Hepburn."

"I love you, Lila. You're so goofy."

"I love you too. Guess what?" I say.

"What?" she asks.

"My jackass of a boss literally just emailed me telling me not to forget his bagel tomorrow morning."

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