Page 90 of Don't Quit the Day Job

"I just wanted to see how you were doing and possibly have a nice conversation with you and?—"

"And what? You want phone sex? Is that it? You want me to come over or you want to come over to my place? You want to stick your cock in me again all night? What is it, Max?"

"Whoa, where is this coming from?"

"I'm just saying that I'm just not another warm hole for you to fill up."

"I never thought that you were. And I apologize if you did not enjoy the cock warming. I'm sorry. You could've let me know at any time."

"That's not it. I just wish you had told me about Marie."

"What?" I blink in surprise. How does she know about my sister?

"I said I wish you would've told me that Marie was pregnant."

"I don't know that I knew that Marie was pregnant when we made love."

"Oh, so then is that your excuse for it being okay and still calling me?"

"What are you talking about Lila? My excuse for what?"

"For being a two-timing, low down son of a bitch," she says. "How can you call me when your girlfriend is pregnant with your baby?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Marie. She's pregnant, right?"

"Yes, and I don't know how you know that but—" There's a knock on my door and I sigh. "Yeah?"

"Hey, can I order some Greek food?"

"Not right now, Marie. I'm on the phone."

"Oh my gosh. She's there right now?"

"Yeah, she's here right now. She's staying with me," I say.

"So she's staying with you and you thought it was a good idea to call me. What, she can't have sex now that she's pregnant?"

"Are you disgusting? I would never sleep with my sister. Lila, are you out of your mind?"

"Your sister?" She sounds shocked.

"Yes. Marie is my sister. What were you thinking?"

"Oh shit," she says. "This is awkward."

"Lila, please tell me what's going on."

"So, I heard Marie in the background the other day, and then I found out that she's pregnant and you haven't been at work and you kind of went all quiet and I just thought that maybe your life got complicated and maybe your ex got pregnant."

"You thought that Marie was my ex-girlfriend?" I don't know whether to be amused or angry. "You thought I got my ex-girlfriend pregnant and I decided to step up to the plate and take care of the baby, but still have you as a side piece? Really? And you thought I'd be calling you while she's here in my home?"

"I mean, we don't know each other that well, but…"

"No, we don't, but I thought you would sense that I'm not the sort of guy to do something like that. You're the one that told me you had this great read on people."

"And I guess my initial read was more accurate than my latest one. I'm so sorry, Max. Oh my gosh. Please forgive me. I feel like a fool."

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