Page 36 of Don't Quit the Day Job

"No, she's not."

"How old is she then?"

"I don't know. In her twenties."

"Ooh." Marie sounds excited. "Is she pretty?"

"What do you mean is she pretty? I don't know. I haven't noticed."

"You haven't noticed if your new assistant is pretty?"

"No, I have not. She works for me and as such, I?—"

"Oh my gosh. Okay, so she's either absolutely stunningly gorgeous or she's a dog," she deduces. "Because there's no way you don't know if she's attractive. You just don't want to tell me."

"Do you or do you not want to come to New York?" I challenge, changing the subject.

"Why are you changing the subject Max? Oh my gosh. She's gotten under your skin, hasn't she?"

"She has not gotten under my skin. I mean, has she gotten under my skin in the fact that she is annoying and doesn't really do a good job?" I pause. "Okay. I'm being unfair. I don't know if she's going to do a good job or not yet. She doesn't really have the experience that tells me she's going to do a great job, but I shouldn't judge her before she's actually done anything for me."

"Okay. When did you hire this lady again?"

"Today," I say, and Marie bursts out laughing. "What is so funny?" I ask her.

"We are talking about your new assistant like you've known her forever. This is just some lady you met today. She's really gotten under your skin, huh?"

"Marie."

"Ooh, now I'm getting under your skin. I want to meet her. What's her name?"

"I don't think you need to meet her. You've never asked to meet any of my other assistants and?—"

"Yeah, but it was quite obvious to me that you weren't interested in them."

"And I'm not interested in Lila either." I groan as I realize I said her name.

"Lila, that's a pretty name," Marie says. "Ooh, I can't wait to meet her."

"Marie, I have to go now. I have work to do."

"Okay, fine. So can I come up this weekend?"

"No," I say. "That's a bit soon."

"But—"

"But nothing. Let's schedule it for the beginning of next month. Okay? I still have to speak to Dad."

"You're not going to tell him what I said, right?" she says softly.

"No, I won't tell him that you know about him cheating or that your mom is cheating as well."

"Why are they like that?" she asks, her voice low and vulnerable. "Why can't they just be in love and just be with each other?"

"Because they weren't made that way," I explain as gently as I can. "I don't know."

"Is that why you can't settle with one woman?" she asks.

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