Page 13 of Don't Quit the Day Job

I don't know why some sort of horny college boy has taken over my brain. It must be that short skirt, those long legs, and that innocent, sexy smile that she gives me every couple of seconds.

"Nothing," I say with a shrug. “Just hurry because there’s a meeting for all the new hires later today and I don’t want you to miss it.” I tap my fingers against the desk. "I need to ensure you're the best assistant this law firm has ever seen."

Chapter Six

Lila

My heart is racing as I take the elevator down to the lobby. Had Max Spector really just stuck his thumb in my mouth and then sucked it? It was the most sensual non-explicit interaction I’ve ever had in my life and I cannot wait to tell someone. I also can't believe I lied and told him I have a boyfriend. I’m not sure if it was to protect myself from him or to stop myself from dropping to my knees and telling him I wanted to see if he was as big as his attitude said he should be.

I wait until I leave the building before I pull my phone out and call Zara. She answers on the second ring. Thank God for good friends.

"How did it go?" Her voice is soft, and for a couple of seconds I wonder if she knows what's just happened between my new boss and me. Does she have ESP? Am I so horny that I’m sending out signals to the city at large that I just had a made-for-TV X-rated moment? Okay, so maybe not X-rated, but at least PG-13. Parents would not want their kids witnessing what just occurred between Max and I.

My face burns like I’m standing next to a fire. Way too close to the flames. Maybe I should see it as a warning that I’m out of my comfort zone, but I’ve never been one to stay in my lane. A part of the reason why I love acting is that I love the drama of it all; now that it’s a part of my real life, I’m not sure how to feel.

Actually, that’s a bit of a lie. I feel exhilarated.

I am finally living a life that is worthy of a daytime soap opera.

“How did you...” My voice trails off as it suddenly strikes me that she's talking about the audition and not my walk on the wild side.

"Oh, not well," I say quickly. For some reason, I feel embarrassed to tell Zara that I didn’t go to the audition. I don’t want her to know that I let my nerves and fear get the better of me. I really wanted to pursue my dream of acting full-time, but my low bank account balance means that I can't just give myself entirely to that endeavor.

I suppose that's a sign that I'm a real adult now. It's a cold slap in the face as I realize that my livelihood is completely on me now. I have no backup plan. I need to make money. And it's not like I'm the only person in the world with a boss that I'm unsure about.

"I'm so sorry, Lila. I'm sure you'll get the next one."

"Oh, I didn't even audition," I say quickly, not wanting to be duplicitous. She is my best friend, after all. "The line was tremendously long, like, over 100 girls, all of whom really seemed to know the part well and... "

"You didn't audition?" Zara is silent for a couple of seconds. "But you really wanted that role. You were so excited. What happened, Lila?"

"I just didn't think I was going to get it. And there was the job fair I wanted to go to and... " I pause. "I just figured it was smarter for me to try and get a job before trying to audition for a role I didn't think I was going to get."

"If this is about money, Lila, I told you I will?—"

"No, Zara. No." I am emphatic. "I know you want to help me. I know that you want to be able to tell me that I can just focus on my acting. And as much as I would love that, a part of me would hate myself for it because I would feel like I didn't get there on my own. I would feel like I didn't?—"

"But you were there for me," she says softly. "When I needed you, you were there."

"And you've paid me back tenfold," I say. "I'm in my own little apartment now." I pause. "And it's really great."

"Lila, I know you like I know the back of my hand," Zara says. "Do you want to come and live with me and?—"

"No." I cut her off before she can finish. I know exactly what she's going to say, and while my life would be a lot easier, I know it isn't the path I want to take. Plus, I know Zara needs alone time with Jackson. They need to grow together without me all up in the business 24/7. No matter how much I miss her. "Yes, I'm lonely. I mean, I lived with you and Elise and the kids for ages, but I needed to take this step. I needed to be out in the real world by myself. I live in New York City and I've never really experienced everything there is to experience. I mean, we've had amazing times, but it was different, you know?"

"I know," she says softly, and I can hear slight disappointment in her tone. I know she misses me as much as I miss her. We were practically like twins for the last five years. It feels weird not waking up and chatting with her about life and goals and men. "I just worry about you."

"You don't need to worry about me. Trust me. If shit hits the fan and I can't pay my rent and I have nowhere to go, I will for sure be showing up on your doorstep."

"Okay," she says. "I love you."

"I love you too." I feel a bit emotional now. It's weird how much you can love a friend. And how much you can miss them when they no longer have a big role in your life. It's not like she's gone from my life, but now that she's engaged, she's moving forward. I'm no longer the first person she will come to about life events. It strikes me then that I feel a little bit heartbroken. I've never felt a bitter-sweet pain like this before. She's still in my life, but our relationship has shifted. "Guess what?" I lower my voice slightly because I don't want to be overheard by the other people walking down the street, just in case they know Max.

"What?" she asks excitedly, and I wonder if I'd been a bit too dramatic with my delivery.

"You are never going to believe this, but I am into something way over my head." I realize that my word choice is not optimal. I sound like a character in a movie that has just robbed a bank by mistake; if one can rob a bank by mistake, that is.

"What are you talking about?" She sounds confused.

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