Page 1 of Don't Quit the Day Job

Chapter One

Max

"We have two drink specials tonight, sir." The sultry blonde stares at me as she pushes her perky breasts toward me. She almost purrs as her green eyes attempt to seduce me. "Would you like to hear what they are?" She's leaning down so low that I can see she's not wearing a bra under her silver sequined top. The sight of her jiggling, glittery breasts should arouse me, but I'm frankly not interested in what she has to offer. Which is why I think that, of the three of us men sitting at the table, she's spent the last five minutes trying to garner my attention.

"Not particularly." I shake my head and stare back down at my phone. The blonde is attractive, but I'm not interested in any dalliances tonight. "I'd like a whiskey on the rocks."

"I wouldn't mind hearing." My law firm partner and friend, Remington Parker, leans forward with a flirtatious smile and the blonde turns her attention to him. I watch as she takes in his handsome face, tailored dark gray suit, black Italian leather shoes, and the $150,000 Patek Philippe watch that hangs nonchalantly on his wrist as if it were a five dollar shell bracelet he'd picked up on a beach in Bali.

"So the first drink is a special that I helped to name," she says proudly as she perches on the edge of the seat. Her eyes are bright as my other partner Kingston Chase also leans in as if she's about to impart the secrets of the world upon our trio. I tap my fingers impatiently against my phone screen as I wait for her to leave. The three of us are here to discuss business over drinks, not flirt up a storm with a sexy waitress that looks like she'd be happy to go home with any one of us.

"And the names are?" My tone is blunt, and I watch as Kingston and Remy exchange smirks. "We don't have all night, Ms...?"

"My name is Kitty." She throws her head back and runs her fingers across her lips in an attempt to be sexy. I try not to roll my eyes at her obvious attempts to bed one of us. "But I let my friends call me Pussy Cat."

"I bet you do," Remy chuckles and loosens his silky red tie. "I wouldn't mind calling you?—"

"Remy, really?" I raise an eyebrow at him. "We have some cases to discuss," I remind him. As partners at one of the preeminent law firms in New York City, we always have work to discuss, but tonight is more important than most because I've been given notice that the Governor himself is paying close attention to the work that we did. Which can only mean one thing: he’s eyeing one of us to be nominated for a judgeship. And if I have anything to say about it, it’s going to be me.

"The cases aren't going anywhere, Max." He shrugs and beams at Kitty. "Don't mind my partner, here. We're lawyers at a firm and he's eager to get back to work. You know what they say, you can take the lawyer out of the courtroom, but you can't take the law out of a lawyer’s head."

"Ooh, lawyers." Kitty's eyes look like she just won the jackpot and I watch as she shifts onto Remy's lap. "I love lawyers."

"The name of the drink specials?" I clear my throat and remind her.

"Oh, yes." She giggles, running her hand up and down his thigh, and then, because she didn't seem to get the hint, she uses her other hand to rub my thigh. "The first special is called a cockwarmer."

"A what?" Kingston sputters on the water he's drinking and I can't help but smirk. Neither can Kitty. She knows what she's doing.

"A cockwarmer." She grins. "It's named after one of my most favorite activities as a submissive." She giggles and bats her eyelids. I have no idea what she's talking about, and while I'm curious to know the answer, I don't want to get into a discussion with her about it. I have no patience for inane banter and I certainly don't want to give her the impression that I'm interested in continuing the conversation. "It has tequila, and let's just say when you've had two of them, all you can think about is having your?—"

"Three whiskeys on the rocks," I say firmly as I remove her hand from my thigh. My phone beeps and I see it's a message from my assistant. "Gentlemen, we really need to get down to business."

"You work too hard…" Kitty turns all of her attention to me. "You're too handsome to spend so much time focused on work. You need a lil pussy...cat to help relax you."

"And I'm guessing that pussy cat is you?" I lean back and look her over. The pouting red lips, the long blonde hair that screams of extensions, the green eyes with the heavy mascara, the glitter all over her cleavage. She was practically begging me to take her home for the night. And maybe if I were younger and less focused on the job, I'd give her everything I had for one night, but I’m just not interested. I've had enough meaningless sex to last me a lifetime. Not to say that I’m a monk or anything. I have three or four women on rotation that I call up if I’m feeling particularly horny, but I haven't actually gotten laid in three months. Not since Vanessa, an accountant I slept with a handful of times, told me she loved me and burst out crying when I told her that I wasn't going to fuck her without a condom. That incident had made me take a step back from casual sex. I really didn't need the drama.

"Let's just say that my mouth and my kitty make great warmers." She winks at me and I feel her hand moving up my thigh toward my crotch. She frowns as I grab her hand, push it away and jump up.

"I'm headed for a piss. Be a dear and grab the whiskeys." I turn around and head to the restroom, opening the text message from my assistant on the way. I've been waiting on her to get back to me for over two hours. She hadn't come in to work today and I’m in need of some memos being typed up and some discovery sent to opposing counsel for a case. I stop outside the door and lean against the wall, ignoring the sounds of people laughing and talking. I normally enjoy hanging out at The Owl and the Pussycat, but tonight I’m stressed out. A part of me wonders if I should bang Kitty just to release some pent-up energy, but I don't want to spend half the night listening to her talk before I get some. My hand can do just as good a job as her mouth in about a quarter of the time.

"I quit. Effective immediately."

"Fucking stupid," I mumble under my breath as I see my assistant’s text of resignation. "How unprofessional." I grip the phone and let out a deep sigh. I'm tense and I can feel the anxiety rolling down my back. I run my fingers through my silky hair and close my eyes for a few moments. I cannot believe that yet another assistant of mine has quit. I know I’m a difficult boss, but it’s because I have goals. Though, sometimes I wonder if my goals are dictating my life. My eighteen-year-old younger sister, Marie, sure seems to think so and loves to tell me so at every opportunity. She thinks that I’m boring and wasting my life away and she wants to go to college in New York so she can live with me and try to set me up. She loves to boss me around like she’s the sibling that is seventeen years older than the other.

I take a deep breath and head back to the table. I'm glad to see that Kitty has left the group, but the knowing glances on my partners’ faces as I approach the table has me steeling my spine.

"Before you say a word, just know that my latest assistant just quit and I'm not in the mood."

"Shit, another one? Already?" Kingston raises a dark eyebrow. "What's that now? Five assistants in six months?"

"Something like that." I growl as I sit down. "Your last assistant quit as well, so it's not like you're batting any better."

"Mine quit because her husband got a job offer in Iceland." He smirks. "Yours quit because why?"

"Who knows?" I shrug, annoyed as I look around. "Where the hell is my drink?"

"You scared the poor kitty cat away." Remy chuckles as he pulls out his phone. "That's why you both need to get an assistant like mine. Dowdy and only interested in her dogs, or cats, or rabbits or whatever."

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