Page 39 of The Game She Hates

I put my phone on silent, place it back in the drawer, close my eyes, and images of Zane flood my mind as I drift off to sleep.

26

Pearl Davis

The atmosphere at Kate’s bridal shower is nothing short of magical. All of us bridesmaids came together to create a simple, yet elegant setting, perfectly matching the wedding colors of gold and teal. We transformed Carole’s house into one beautiful venue, adorned with lilies and roses on the round tables, along with scripture cards and games.

Carole, one of the elder’s wives, had eagerly offered to host the shower.

Worship music plays softly in the background, and the scent of Carole’s delicious food fills the air, reminding me that lunch was ages ago. With laughter and chatter filling the room, Carole initiates the scripture trivia on marriage.

I try my best not to be overzealous, and hold back from answering with the correct scripture references each time. Kate has to take the trophy. After all, she’s the bride, and this day is all about celebrating her.

I pretend to be as stumped as Robyn is. She really couldn’t tell you where any verse is located except for the Proverbs 31 woman.

Kate is beaming, radiating pure happiness, and I can’t help but feel a surge of joy knowing that we could make this day special for her. Despite not having much family, she’s poured her heart into serving the church, leading worship, and being involved in as many groups as possible. The presence of everyone here is a testament to how much we’ve got her back, just as she’s always had ours.

As each person takes turns sharing their thoughts about Kate, I’m stung by a feeling of regret, remembering the time I was jealous of her and her relationship with Duke. In hindsight, I realize that they’re truly a perfect match. Both are outgoing, they thrive in the spotlight, and exude confidence in their own skin.

It’s not that I’m filled with insecurity, but as someone who’s not known for having a tiny waist, I’ve spent far too long wishing I looked like Kate, Robyn, or any of these thin bridesmaids. It’s why I’ve always gravitated toward loose clothing, and the thought of wearing the tight teal dress for the wedding in a couple of weeks makes me anxious. The moment I tried it on, instead of feeling beautiful, I felt self-conscious.

Oh, how I wish I could imprint the words of Psalm 139:14—‘I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made’—in my heart and mind forever.

When it’s finally my turn to speak about Kate, I speak from my heart. “Kate, I see what Duke sees in you. And I know we all do. You’re a servant. You speak your mind.” I pause, a fleeting thought about her lack of sensitivity crossing my thoughts, but I quickly push it aside—no one person is perfect. “You love people, and above all, you love and live for Jesus. I think you’ll make an amazing wife,” I conclude, a genuine smile spreading across my face.

A pink flush creeps onto Kate’s cheeks. She definitely wasn’t expecting such heartfelt words from me. She has probably realized that we’ve drifted apart over the past few months. We weren’t very close but we hung out even less when her and Duke became a couple. I’m the one who created the distance, I thought it was safe as I worked on letting Duke go from my heart.

And now, there’s another guy, one who’s currently occupying a larger space in my heart than Duke ever did, and he refuses to budge. Maybe it was easier to move on from Duke because he was already in a serious relationship. Maybe I need to convince myself that Zane is dating someone else too. But, Duke never wanted to have anything to do with me. In fact, he may not have even realized that I liked him.

Zane wants me in a way that terrifies me, because my heart longs for him just as deeply, if not more.

After a nice message from Carole about the gift of marriage and the importance of keeping Christ at the center, she takes her seat, and Gracie, another older woman from church, rises to share her thoughts before we conclude with a prayer.

“I see that all of Kate’s close friends are still single, and I want to share something important with them too. Never underestimate the season of singleness. It’s not a hindrance. It’s a gift from the Lord, just like marriage is.”

I glance at Robyn, who now wears a grin on her face as she listens intently. But I have a feeling she’ll be disappointed with whatever Gracie has to say because I’ve heard her speak in women’s groups, and she’s the biggest marriage advocate.

“Don’t spend your single days wishing them away, longing for the next thing. Marriage is indeed a beautiful union, but it also demands daily sacrifice and selflessness; your spouse will come first. And when you’re blessed with children, it’ll be time to pour daily and intensively into them.

“So, with all my heart, I encourage you to embrace your singleness, go on adventures with Jesus and your friends, grow in your faith, and prepare your heart to welcome the right person. Trust in God’s timing, for when the right person comes along, it will be in His perfect way.

“You need not feel rushed or pressured, even though us older folks at church might pry a bit. We’re just curious because we love to relive our younger days through you, but never think for a minute that if you’re still single and haven’t found your match, there is something wrong with you. God’s timing is divine, unlike our own. He’s proved it time and time again in His word.” She pauses, letting her words sink in. “But I must also add a word to those who fear marriage. When it’s God-ordained and centered on Jesus, it will be your heaven on this earth. Okay, that was my spiel, as the young people say.”

We all nod as she takes back her seat, and I blink a tear.

Every time she mentioned the right person, Zane came to my mind. But would it be heaven on earth if Jesus isn’t our shared center?

27

Zane Ortiz

When Duke first extended an invitation to his wedding a few weeks back, I didn’t think I was gonna go. He texted me after the semi-final, congratulating me like we became best friends, but I still couldn’t shake the memory of how he belittled Pearl at his engagement party. I wanted nothing to do with him.

But as days turned into weeks, and I found myself completely cut off from Pearl’s life, I started to reconsider. Maybe attending Duke’s wedding would give me a chance to catch a glimpse of her, perhaps even briefly talk to her.

So, a few days ago, I reached out to him and asked if the invitation still stood. He answered in record time, saying it’d be his honor to have me there.

That semi-final was supposed to be one of the best games of my life, until I stepped out of the locker room and lost sight of Pearl. My mind still wonders why she even showed up. She didn’t say hi and never responded to my text thanking her.

---