Page 45 of Swiping Right (and other disasters)

“I thought about it,” said Seymour. “I really did. To start with, though, it all felt a bit stalkerish. And then, there was that day when you talked to me and I realised you thought Jack was my boyfriend. I almost started to tell you then, but we were interrupted. And then after that, it never seemed like the right time.”

“It’s the right time now,” said Kiera, pulling Seymour towards her for another kiss.

Chapter Thirty-One

“So, what happened next?” said Clodagh when Keira met her the next day for lunch. “Tell me you had hot sex on her sofa and adjourned to her bed for the rest of the day and night.” Her eyes lit up at the thought.

Kiera laughed. “No. It wasn’t that kind of date. Don’t look at me like that.” She thought for a moment before going on. “I guess it just feels like it could be something. Like, something real, something important. There’s plenty of time for everything. No need to rush it.”

“So, you made out on her couch and then said goodbye? Wow, now that is very chaste of you.”

“If I’m honest, it didn’t feel very chaste,” said Kiera, thinking back to the raised heart rates, the heightened colour in their cheeks and the unbidden moans. “I just want to appreciate this. Not rush it.”

“I would like it placed on record that both me and Charlie called it that this was a date,” said Clodagh, with a superior look on her face.

“You’ve already said that,” Kiera pointed out, “twice. And Charlie told me the same this morning. You two are insufferable, and potentially dangerous together.”

Clodagh laughed. “Well, as always, you win the prize for being a grown-up. I, on the other hand, have a problem. Both my partners want to take me out on my birthday. We’ve talked about maybe all going together, but they want to do different things. So, I’m now having two birthday dates – one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I’m not gonna lie, I feel a bit overwhelmed.”

“Ah, the first world problems of the ethical non-monogamist,” said Kiera, with a small laugh.

“Oh, look at you, all pink and smug about your girl.” Clodagh rolled her eyes. “But seriously, though. She sounds lovely. Enjoy it.”

“That is my whole plan.”

Chapter Thirty-Two

Kiera woke to a message from Seymour.

“Dinner at my place? Tonight?” Kiera shivered. Yes. Definitely, yes. She responded swiftly, before opening a new message to Lou.

“We need to meet, I have news.”

“Omg, let me throw the kids at Dan. I’ll meet you at The Vine in forty-five mins.”

Lou was as good as her word, and soon they were sitting at a table weighed down by croissants and bacon and coffee, as well as a large pot of tea for Lou. Lou didn’t do coffee, which had always puzzled Kiera.

“Is she your girlfriend now?” asked Lou.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean? You were there. Surely you know?” Lou looked at Kiera and raised an eyebrow.

“Ok, how old were you when you and Dan got together?”

“Er, nineteen, I think?”

“Exactly. So when we were all that age, if you went out to the pub, drank a WKD, snogged someone and then held hands, you were officially ‘a thing’, right?”

“Of course,” said Lou, as if Kiera were stating the bleeding obvious.

“Well, as I have discovered to my cost, things are very, very, very different now. You have to discuss this stuff – are you together? Are you ‘seeing’ each other? Are you exclusive? Are you monogamous? Are you telling your friends? Are you not? It’s truly mind-boggling.”

“Oh my God,” said Lou, reaching for a pain au chocolat. “In that case, Dan’s safe.”

“Why?”

“There’s no way I’m divorcing him, ever. I’d never cope with all that nonsense. I mean, I’m happy to say that WKDs are part of my past, but this all sounds more complicated than it really needs to be.”

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