Page 10 of Swiping Right (and other disasters)

“Oh, really?” said the woman, dimples in her cheeks as she smiled. “First date?”

“Is it that obvious?” The younger woman’s smile was kind. Kiera suspected she was probably in her late twenties.

“No, you’re grand, but the tapping fingers and furrowed brow do give you away a little. It’s all part of the café-owner manual – reading body language.”

“I guess that makes sense. But yes,” said Kiera, checking the window again, “it is a first date. In fact, it is my first first date in about ten years. I am woefully out of shape.”

“You look pretty good to me,” said the woman with a wink. “Have a bit of faith in yourself.” She smiled again, her green eyes sparkling. “Look, how about we have a code. If you want out at any point, order an affogato, I’ll call your mobile from the back room, and you can pretend it’s a family emergency and you need to leave.”

Kiera smiled. It was a kind gesture. “Yes, please.” She stood up and went over to the counter. “I’m Kiera. Here, if you put your number in my phone, I’ll give you a missed call.”

The woman grinned at her and took the phone in her long fingers. “I’m Seymour.”

“Like in Little Shop of Horrors?” said Kiera.

“I’m afraid so. I was named after a cannibalistic plant in a musical,” she deadpanned, handing Kiera her phone back.

“Wow,” said Kiera, now full of questions.

“Are you Kiera?” came a voice from behind her, before she could ask any more of them. She turned to see the woman who had walked in, complete with the blonde bob from the photo.

“Hi, Hannah?”

“Yes.” Hannah gave a small smile.

“Let me get you a drink,” said Kiera.

“No, ladies,” said Seymour, her cheeks pink, “this one’s on me. Tell me what you want and I’ll bring them over.”

“That’s a service I’m not used to,” said Hannah, who was tugging at the bottom of her plaid shirt nervously.

“I’m a regular here,” said Kiera, “which seems to have some benefits.”

“Not half, have you seen her? She’s a bit of a hottie,” said Hannah, then put her hand to her mouth. “Sorry, not really first date etiquette to point out someone else who’s hot. Not that you’re not hot, obviously, I mean of course you are, but I don’t know you yet, so I wouldn’t say it out loud…”

Her nervous monologue trailed off and she curled a lock of her hair between her fingers. Kiera felt at least as nervous as Hannah was behaving, but at least she was managing to keep a lid on it for now.

“No sorries, please. Just sit down and pop your coat on your chair. Make yourself at home. Did you come far?” asked Kiera, hating herself for asking such a pedestrian question.

“Oh no, not really. I came on the number 50, just a few stops down the road – I live on Chantry Road, by St Columba Church in Moseley. I really should have walked, but I ran out of time because I was choosing, well, because I was running a bit late…” Her high-paced delivery trailed off again. Kiera was beginning to wonder if Hannah was capable of having a thought without expressing it out loud.

“Always a good place for people-watching, the bus,” said Kiera, feeling strangely less nervous now she could see that Hannah was clearly on the very edge of the edge.

“Ooh yes, definitely. Cafés, too. I like guessing who’s on a blind date. I mean, oh, sorry. You know what I mean.” Hannah twisted her scarf in her hands.

“I do,” replied Kiera, trying to waft some calm in the direction of her date.

“Here you are, ladies,” said Seymour, bringing over their drinks. “Just give me a shout if you need anything else.” As Hannah looked away, Seymour gave Kiera a subtle wink. She was grateful for it.

“Have you done much of this app dating stuff?” asked Hannah.

“Um, no, not really. In fact, this is the first time. Ever.” Kiera allowed her eyes to focus on the coffee in front of her.

“First ever date?” Hannah took a sip of her coffee and then immediately winced. “Ouch, too hot!” she exclaimed. “Sorry, such a klutz.”

Kiera stifled a laugh. “No worries. No, I’ve been on dates before, but not for the better part of ten years.” Hannah’s blush started to fade from her naturally pale skin. Her blond bob and appearance was exactly as it was in her photo, allaying the age-old fear that the person you were meeting was using a picture long past its sell-by date.

Hannah peered at Kiera over her coffee cup, into which she was blowing. “Married?”

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