Page 21 of Kayak Girl

“No,” I replied quickly, almost too quickly. “I’m used to doing it alone. It’s part of being a pastor’s kid, you know? But thanks for offering.” My words felt hollow, even to my own ears.

She smiled, a smile tinged with hesitation, and then she left.

Only two more weeks of this torture. “You can do this, Gray,” I whispered to myself, watching her retreating figure, feeling both relief and an undeniable pang of longing. “You can do this,” I whispered again. But in that moment, I wasn’t so sure.

Chapter 15

ELLE

It could have been my imagination, but I was certain Gray was distancing himself from me. I’d noticed the change ever since he’d helped me with the cookies.

We partnered as leaders during the summer camp, we both took part in prep and leader activities, and he messaged me little snippets of randomness that made me smile. But he no longer sought me out. No longer sat next to me or started a personal conversation. It shouldn’t have bothered me. After all, I wanted to remain unattached. I was leaving in two weeks. Plus, lest I forget, I didn’t have the capacity for a serious relationship right now.

Yet, despite these reminders, my heart ached. It yearned for something more, something it couldn’t have. This week had been a whirlwind of activities and emotions. Amy’s program was a hit. The lessons were so wholesome and deeply rooted in the Bible that I was sure they would have a positive impact on the kids.

It was Friday afternoon, and I’d found a comfortable routine. I’d usually squeeze my copywriting work into the early hours of the morning. The days had too much to offer for me to get stuck behind a computer. I’d also managed to settle the insurance stuff. So at least that issue was resolved. Well, as much as I could resolve it for now. I’d kayaked in the rivers every afternoon. The unique interwoven rivers, lagoons and estuaries made for the best adventuring. I’d invited Gray for another kayak session, but he’d turned me down.

Perched on a bench near the dining hall I called my sister, Becky, to vent. As soon as she answered, her cheerful voice put me at ease.

“Hey, Becks,” I started, my voice wavering slightly.

“Elle, what’s up? You sound off,” Becky’s voice came through, warm and concerned.

I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. “It’s about this guy, Gray. He’s the one I’m co-leading with at the summer camp. I thought we had a connection, you know? But lately, he’s been so distant. And his friend Weston, he’s been so cold toward me. I can’t figure it out.”

I could hear equal parts worry and curiosity in Becky’s tone. “Ooh, a connection, you say? Give me all the juicy details, Elle. What’s this Gray guy like?”

“He’s this assertive, straightforward guy—really down-to-earth. We hit it off... or at least, that’s what I thought. But recently, there’s this wall he’s put up... It’s confusing. I feel like sometimes he’s interested in more with me, but then he just... pulls back.”

Becky hummed thoughtfully. “And what about you, Elle? How do you feel about him?”

I chewed my lip, searching for the right words. “I’m drawn to him, but it’s complicated. I’m not even sure what I want, to be honest,” I said.

“And this Weston character? What’s his deal?” Becky’s voice now carried a note of protectiveness.

“He’s close to Gray, but with me, he’s been nothing but cold. I suppose he’s kind of cold with everyone. But I’m starting to wonder if he’s made it his mission to keep Gray away from me. I feel like he’s judging me without even knowing me.”

Becky was silent for a moment, probably piecing together her thoughts. “Elle, you know people sometimes have their own issues. Maybe Gray’s got something going on, or maybe Weston does. But don’t let these silly boys’ behavior cloud your time there. I reckon you need to just try to forget it.”

“You’re probably spot on. Gray did hint at some heavy stuff in Weston’s past. Maybe I’m just feeling sensitive at the moment.”

“Sorry sis,” she sympathized, “But you’ll figure it out. You always do. Aren’t you supposed to be moving onto another town soon? Maybe this distance is a good thing?

“Perhaps,” I muttered, twirling a strand of hair around my finger.

“Just a heads up, I’m expecting a call from the bank soon. But tell me something good, quick!”

I paused, a smile slowly curving my lips. “Actually, yes. The camp has been incredible. The kids are little rays of sunshine, and I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be.”

“Music to my ears!” she exclaimed. “Oh, I just had a wild thought. I’m attending a friend’s wedding from university next weekend, somewhere on Hilton Head, on one of the beaches. What if I came a day early and visited you? I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier. I suppose it’s because you didn’t know how long you’d be there. But I feel like some sister time is in order.”

My heart leaped. “That would be amazing, Becky!”

“Okay, let me see if I can make it work. Oh, hang on, they’re calling me now. Love you, Elle.”

“Love you too, Becks.”

As I ended the call, I tried to convince myself to just ignore the distance as Becky had suggested, but my heart was not so easily persuaded. Especially like right now as I watched him walking back from the communal showers. He looked so fresh and handsome in a pair of board shorts and a blue T-shirt. The classic beach vibe fit him so well. I bet he smelled like shower gel. I imagined it was a scent that could awaken every dormant desire with its subtle, teasing promise of freshness.

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