Page 15 of Kayak Girl

We walked in comfortable silence along the cobbled path to her small studio room, several hundred yards from the campfire.

“This is me here,” she said and pointed to her bright green door.

I gave a dramatic bow. “Sleep well, Estelle Knight. See you tomorrow.”

Chapter 11

ELLE

The next morning, my mind still lingered on the sound of Gray’s voice saying my full name. There was something magical about the way he articulated each syllable, turning my ordinary name into something extraordinary. Why had I even told him all of that about my name? Oh well. It was only a name; I was sure it meant nothing.

Gray just had this knack for making conversation feel like the easiest thing in the world. There was something about him—maybe it was his confidence, or that he always seemed genuinely interested in what people had to say—that just pulled you in. And there I was, no exception, getting swept up in his charisma. I wished he wasn’t so darn charming. It would’ve made things a lot simpler. Being interested in a guy just wasn’t an option right now. Not to mention that I hit his car. Last night, I’d spent an absurd amount of time crafting a reply to his email, I wanted to be as clear and helpful as possible without revealing my identity. I felt better for having responded, but the fact that I was the one who’d hit his car, and he remained blissfully unaware of it added an odd twist to our interactions. I kept telling myself that once all the insurance stuff and payments were settled, this heavy feeling would dissipate. Maybe then, I could finally put this whole incident behind me. Argh. How did I get into this pickle?

Growing up, Dad’s temper was like a storm you could never predict—calm one moment, a whirlwind the next. So, I learned early on to avoid conflict at all costs. That’s probably why, with Gray, all I could think about was keeping the peace, even if it meant omitting certain information.

“It’s fine,” I told myself. I’d keep the crash a secret just a little longer, just until I was ready to leave. Originally, I thought I’d never tell him, but now that didn’t feel right. Once I left, I’d tell Gray everything, but through the safe distance of an email. Telling him to his face felt like a mountain too steep to climb. I wanted to do the right thing; I really did. But the thought of seeing disappointment or maybe even anger in Gray’s eyes? It was enough to keep my lips sealed.

My first full day at the summer camp ran without a glitch, as it had the day before. Amy, with her efficient and thoughtful leadership, coordinated everything with remarkable ease. I admired her style, a blend of authority and warmth that made her both respected and loved.

Throughout the morning, I thanked God for this opportunity. I was determined to keep talking to God, even though my quiet time this morning felt stilted. For some reason, I’d been struggling to get onto the same page as God since I’d started my trip. Perhaps this camp would help me connect with Him again.

We’d just broken into small groups after an inspiring talk. The sun-kissed sand served as chairs as Gray and I sat in a circle with six eager children. A medley of sunscreen and fruity candy scents danced around us, the unmistakable smell of carefree summer days.

As Gray and I led the small group discussion, I marveled at how well we complemented each other. Our connection seemed to resonate with the children too, allowing them to share their thoughts and feelings.

When the session drew to a close, I high-fived each child in our group. Their bright eyes sparkled with excitement, and their smiles warmed my heart. I watched them scamper off, their laughter echoing behind them.

Turning to Gray, I couldn’t contain my own excitement. “It was incredible to experience a full morning like this,” I gushed.

“Yeah, it can be tiring, but it’s also addictive,” he said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. His eyes, the color of the ocean on a cloudy day, were locked on mine.

I recalled the previous night when I’d caught him stealing glances in my direction more than once. Each lingering look felt like a whispered secret shared between our souls, leaving me both hesitant and yearning for more.

“For sure,” I agreed, bringing my focus back to the present. “I’d better be going, though. I already told Amy I would dash when the small groups were done.”

“Why are you always rushing off?” he asked, tilting his head as if he was trying to figure me out.

“Isn’t it obvious? There’s an endless supply of gorgeous rivers and estuaries right on my doorstep.” I pointed toward said rivers. “I want to explore and be back before dinner prep.”

“Is it weird if I ask to tag along?” he said, raising his eyebrows.

“Well, that depends.” I teased. “Do you know your way around these rivers on a kayak?”

“Like the back of my hand,” Gray said confidently.

“In that case, you’re hired,” I declared with a grin.

“Great, I’ll meet you at the entry point behind the hostel kitchen. That river leads to hundreds of offshoots and places to explore. I think you’ll like it. Would it be okay if we only left in an hour?”

“Sure. I still need to eat lunch.”

It was not a good idea to spend more time with Gray considering I planned to continue my trip without strings attached, but I couldn’t pass up the chance to have a local guide on these waters. So I squashed my feelings of caution by preparing for this afternoon’s adventure.

I’d arrived early at our meeting spot, embracing the calm of the riverbank. As I sat, I’d listened to the water’s gentle flow and picked at a few strands of grass that had been trying to make their home in the shifting sand. In a funny way, their struggle resonated with me. I’d embarked on this road trip seeking purpose and happiness. But like these roots in unstable sand, I found contentment elusive, always just beyond my grasp.

Freedom, adventure, helping others, the thrill of the unknown—weren’t those supposed to be the keys to a fulfilled life? Yet, after a month on the road, immersed in these experiences, I still felt like something was missing. Maybe it was because of my recent car trouble? Or maybe I needed to be on the road longer? Or perhaps I was looking for answers in the wrong place? Hopefully, I’d figure it out sooner rather than later. But for now, my kayak tour awaited.

The dull thump of footsteps in the distance alerted me to Gray approaching. My gaze lifted, catching sight of him jogging toward me with a blue kayak perched on his shoulder.

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