Why couldn’t I make him see that?
Why couldn’t I make him understand that I wasn’t him and Mom? That I wouldn’t mess up. That I wouldn’t do anything too young? I knew he was scared of losing me., but at the same time that didn’t mean he should stifle me. At this rate, he was going to lose me forever! I was starting to feel like I should just run away from here and never come back.
“I need to get going,” I muttered, almost under my breath because I needed to escape sooner rather than later. “I have a lot of stuff to do.”
I couldn’t just hide away in my bedroom, not with all of this angst surging through my veins. I needed to get out of here. Unfortunately, Wolf Mountain was little more than a hamlet, so there wasn’t far for me to go or much for me to do. I was just going to have to try.
I slammed the front door as I walked through the town to just try and get my head in order. The town was small, but warm, I suppose. That was one thing I loved about it. It was nestled in a picturesque valley surrounded by the Medicine Bow Mountain range and lush forests as far as the eye could see.
I reached the main street, not paying too much attention to the quaint shops lining each side, but I also couldn’t ignore them as I walked. There was the old-fashioned diner where locals gathered for hearty breakfasts and steaming cups of coffee. The scent of freshly baked pies wafted through the air, drawing me in as I passed by the bakery’s cheerful storefront.
Colorful flower baskets hung from lamp posts adding a burst of color, leading me toward the park where I could hear children laughing and playing on the swings. I had spent many a day playing in that park laughing along with my friends too, but it was such a small space. It was all too little. I was feeling confined here, desperate for any possible way out.
Eventually, I reached the local community bulletin board. It was a rickety wooden structure adorned with faded flyers and announcements, a hub of information in our small town. I hoped to find some part-time job listings that would help me save money for college and everything I wanted to achieve.
Dad was going to be angry. Everything I did here was going to annoy him, but I was done allowing him to control me. It was time for me to control my own future in any way I could.
As I perused the bulletin board, my heart skipped a beat when I saw the unmistakable handwriting on a neatly pinned piece of paper. It read: Nanny Needed – Jesse Rivers. My old crush, my father’s buddy, and the object of my secret affection, Jesse Rivers, was looking for a nanny for his daughter.
Memories of my teenage years flooded back–the stolen glances, the awkward conversations, and the dreams I had woven around Jesse. He had always been a part of my life, a constant presence in my father’s circle of friends. Of course, it was a one-way thing. I was the only one creating a relationship in my mind. There was no way Jesse ever looked at me as anything other than my father’s daughter, but that didn’t change my feelings.
He was a striking figure, tall and muscular, his presence commanding attention wherever he went. His rugged charm was accentuated by his dark brown hair, which always seemed to have a hint of tousled disarray, and his deep, penetrating eyes that held a world of secrets.
Jesse had a way about him, a magnetic charisma that drew people in, and I was no exception. His voice was a low, rumbling timbre that resonated deep whenever he spoke. It was a voice that could soothe and comfort or ignite a fire of passion with just a few words.
But now, he was more than just a crush. He was an opportunity for me to gain some financial independence. Nannying for him could give me everything I needed.
I couldn’t deny the allure of the job. Looking after Jesse’s daughter, Belle, sounded like a dream come true. I had always been good with children, and Belle was known for being a spirited and energetic toddler. Plus, it would mean spending more time with Jesse, even if it was in a professional capacity.
Still, doubts gnawed at the edges of my resolve. Could I handle being so close to the man I had admired from afar for years without revealing my true feelings? What if I ended up making a fool of myself, jeopardizing our friendship? Or worse, my father’s trust? Much as I wanted to stand up for myself with my father, I didn’t want to sever our relationship completely. I just wanted him to accept that I was an adult now and I could make my own rules in life.
I gripped the flyer, snatching it from the bulletin board, and I clutched it between my fingers. My heart pounded as I tried to decide what to do. I could hardly catch my breath as my head spun angrily. I didn’t know what to do for the best. I was torn between my head and heart, and I wasn’t sure which way things were going to go.
I need this, I told myself firmly. I need this job.
I gave myself a little pep talk, trying to sway myself one way or the other, and eventually, I made the choice I knew I had to. This wasn’t about my father, and it certainly wasn’t about any silly crush from the past. This was about the money that I so desperately needed to spread my wings and fly free.
With newfound determination, I reached for my phone and dialed Jesse’s number. My heart raced with each ring, and I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen next. Was he going to be happy to hear from me? Or would he be annoyed because he knew this would wind up my father? I really hoped that he would give me a chance to do this because I was sure that I could do a good job with Belle. I was certain that she and I could bond and make this work perfectly.
Finally, Jesse’s deep, rumbling voice answered on the other end. “Hello?”
I took a deep breath, steadying my nerves because his voice affected me deeply. He made me feel a million unexpected things all at once, which was not how I wanted this conversation to go. I wanted Jesse to see me as the adult I was these days, just like my father.
But to make that happen, I was going to have to speak.
“Hi, Jesse. It’s Marie Oldfield. I saw your ad for a nanny on the community bulletin board. I was wondering if we could talk about it.”
The silence was agonizing. I wished so desperately that I could reach through the phone to pull him through so I could see his reaction. I wanted to know what expressions were flicking across his face right now, I wanted to see how his body language was. This would have definitely been better as a face-to-face conversation, but I suppose this was the only way I could do it.
Come on, Jesse, I thought desperately, trying to send the right vibes down the phone. Give me a chance, Jesse. I need this.
I clutched the phone tighter to my ear, willing the moments away. Why wasn’t he saying anything yet? Why wasn’t he giving me anything to go off? This was agony. Torture. What the hell was wrong with this man?
TWO
JESSE
As I sat in the dimly lit cabin, surrounded by my Pack members, I did my best to maintain focus on the matter at hand–security on the mountainside. We had been tasked with safeguarding the Patron’s estate, a responsibility we took seriously, especially considering the ongoing tensions between the clans in Wolf Mountain.