Page 21 of Any Means Necessary

I can’t go back to the hospital, to the emergency room. I can’t go back to my regular schedule of twelve-hour shifts with patient after patient. Trauma after trauma. Just the thought has my heart rate picking up with anxiety.

Even after leaving the contract on my bed, my mind strays back to it throughout the day. The choice I have to make weighs on my mind for the majority of the day. Even as I bury myself in a new chicken recipe, my mind keeps falling back into the decision I have to make.

Ignoring Mia’s texts all day has me feeling guilty, but I can’t talk to her before I’ve decided for sure. She won’t hear from me until I’ve either signed the contract or started making travel arrangements back to the west coast.

Laying in bed to fall asleep, my mind is almost racing too fast for my demons to make their nightly visit. But it turns out the job offer isn’t enough to keep the horrifying images from flashing behind my eyes. Crimson blood trailing down the side of the gurney until it pools on the worn linoleum floor, mangled metal, and a child’s lunchbox covered in blood.

Bolting upright in bed, I gulp for air as my heart pounds. Anxiety grips my chest tightly as a cold sweat breaks across my skin. Switching on the lamp beside the bed, light floods the room as I reach for the contract and the pen I keep in the nightstand.

It might be complicated, but this is a good job offer. The work is less tedious, the pay is incredible. And I can’t go back to the hospital.

There’s really only one choice.

Going through each page, my pen swoops across the tabbed lines in sparkly black ink. It might not be the standard practice to sign a legal document with a glittery gel pen, but it’s what I have. And, let’s be honest, it’s who I am. At least it’s black and not the hot pink one I keep in my handbag.

And just like that, I’ve sealed my fate and changed my future.

Chapter Six: Lexie

I pause in the open doorway of Callum’s office, my knuckles knocking on the door softly as I announce my presence. “Knock, knock.”

“Come on in, Doc.” Callum gestures to me from his place behind the desk. Roscoe sits on the sofa along the wall to the left, silently observing.

Walking in, I place the signed contract in the center of the desk. “I signed it.”

His eyes move from the stack of papers to gaze at me, read me. He seems surprised, but I can’t be sure if it’s because I actually signed the contract or the fact that I took so long to make a decision. Maybe both.

Picking the contract off the desk, Callum flips through each page to double-check that nothing’s missing. I don’t blame him, I triple-checked every signature line myself before walking in here.

“You signed it,” he confirms. “I’ll make you a copy.”

“Now what? When do I start, today?” I ask, glancing over at Roscoe. He’s so hard to read. If I was a less confident woman, I’d probably assume he can’t stand me. Between him and Callum, they’re gonna give my self-esteem a workout. Unreadable stares like theirs can give a woman a complex.

“Tomorrow we can go over the parameters of the job, and figure out scheduling,” Callum responds thoughtfully, standing to place the contract into the large safe set into the wall behind his desk. “I don’t expect to need you today, and I have meetings that can’t be rescheduled.”

“Ok.” Sounds like I get the day off, which is fine by me. “Perfect, I was hoping to soak up some sun and use the pool today. The weather is beautiful.”

Callum’s eyes move down my body, most likely taking in how pale I am. He probably thinks I just need a few hours in the sun to get some color, most people do. But my skin is always this fair, the only color I’ll be getting from the sun is bright red—not that it’ll stop me. I can’t wait to load up on SPF and roast like a sun-dried tomato.

“Go ahead, Dewdrop.” With that, he’s dismissing me. Hopping up from the chair, I can feel two sets of eyes on me as I leave the room. Leaving them behind, and any worry about work or the new life I just signed up for, I head to my room. I’m so ready to lounge and relax by the pool.

Looking in the full-length mirror, I pose to show myself the best angle in this swimsuit. The light pink structured top is the best I think I’ve ever found for my body type. With panels of mesh and a full underwire, it looks more like lingerie than swimwear. That’s what I need for my boobs—full support. My girls need to be hoisted up and strapped in. Though, like almost everything else with structured cups, my boobs are just a bit too big to be considered ‘the perfect fit.’

The periwinkle bottoms are high-waisted, with enough coverage for my stomach and thigh brows. But they’re also high cut on the sides, sitting high on my hips and creating a cheeky fit on my ass—and I’ve got a decently sized ass. My boobs look fantastic, large and propped up in this top. The bottoms make my defined waist look snatched, my thighs look thick, my legs look long, and my ass voluptuous. The pastel colors perfectly complement the rosy hue of my fair skin and long blonde hair.

I look hot.

Giving my best angles and face, I snap a few pics in the mirror with my cellphone. These might not end up being posted anywhere on social media, but I want them for myself either way. It’s important for me to capture this moment when I’m feeling sexy. An assignment from my therapist, Julie, to destigmatize embracing anything that brings me joy. I’ll decide later what I want to do with them.

Damn, I look good.

Until I turn and catch the reflection of my side profile. Then I see how my soft stomach slightly overhangs a fupa, and the back of my thick thighs are decorated in cellulite and the faint silver silhouettes of stretch marks. I have more curves than I know what to do with; cellulite, stretch marks, and all. But to hell if I’m not going to wear what I want to wear.

Stay straight on, Lexie. How you look from the side is something to think about another day. You look good from any angle.

The terrace of the penthouse probably costs a fortune on its own; with manicured landscaping, a large rectangular infinity pool and jacuzzi, and an outdoor dining area complete with a full bar, grill, and fire pit. Stepping into the ridiculously large pool, the water is heated to perfection.

Nothing beats swimming in a private pool. I could get used to this.

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