Page 72 of Vicious Temptation

“No nightmares?”

She shakes her head. “I took a pill. I’m groggy because I didn’t get enough sleep, but—I didn’t want to risk it.”

“Because of what we did? You thought it might set them off?” I know I probably shouldn’t have asked the question as soon as it’s out of my mouth, but Bella nods, and something squeezes in my chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to make anything worse.”

“You didn’t,” she says quickly, her gaze meeting mine and then dropping, and we both stop, going very still. I can see her breathing quicken.

“I can’t say I’m sorry for it,” I murmur. “Because fuck, Bella, I’m really not. But?—”

“I don’t want you to fire me.” She blurts it out, looking up sharply at me, and I can’t think of what to say for a moment. I just stare at her as she keeps talking, rapidly. “I love it here. I love taking care of Cecelia and Danny. I love this house. Everything you’ve done for me has been incredible. And I really, really don’t want you to fire me?—”

“Bella.” I walk around the side of the bag, stopping before I’m too close. “I’m not going to fire you. I never would. Especially not over something I instigated. But I have no intentions of firing you, regardless.”

“Then—” She lets out a breath. “You look conflicted. Like you regret last night.” That comes out in a rush, too, as if she can’t keep it in any longer. “I’m sorry if?—”

“I just said I wasn’t sorry for it.” I manage a lopsided smile. “I don’t regret it, Bella. But I know you deserve things I can’t give you, and?—”

She frowns. “Like what? What do you mean?”

I let out a breath as she takes a step back, leaning back against the wall. Her hands rub nervously against her thighs, and just that makes my mouth go dry, makes arousal throb through me, remembering her touching herself for me last night.

“I can’t give you a relationship, Bella,” I say quietly, stepping a little closer, a hand’s length away from her. She tenses slightly, but doesn’t move, and I’m cautious not to touch her by accident. “You’re incredible. You’ve blown me away in ways that it would take me a long time to list, ever since I met you. And last night was the most erotic thing I’ve ever done. But I—” I take a deep breath, measuring my words. “I’ve long thought that I don’t have it in me any longer to have another relationship. That I don’t have enough left to give any woman what she would need, but especially you. And the last thing I want is to promise you things that I can’t deliver. I’ve been trying to keep my distance, because of that. And last night, I couldn’t. I took things further than I should have, and I should regret it, even though I don’t. But I can’t promise you what you deserve, and that means that I shouldn’t let it happen again.”

Bella swallows, her throat working as she nods slowly. “I understand.” Her voice is low and quiet, and I see her still rubbing her fingers against her thighs, picking at the material of her leggings. There’s a look on her face that plainly says that she wants to say something, and doesn’t think that she should.

“What is it?” My curiosity is piqued, and besides—I never want her to hide anything from me. I don’t want her to feel that she has to. “You can talk to me, Bella. I’m willing to listen to whatever it is.”

A small laugh escapes her, and she looks up at me. “Maybe not this,” she says softly, and I shake my head.

“You can tell me.”

Her teeth sink into her lower lip, worrying at it. “I’ve started thinking about this recently,” she says softly, drawing in a slow breath. “And I thought more about it, after my appointment with my psychiatrist. I had lunch with Clara, and some things that she said made me think about it even more. And then—” She looks up at me. “I want to be able to have a relationship, eventually. You’ve done all of these things to help me be independent. To escape an arranged marriage. You gave me a job. My own bank accounts. You’re teaching me how to drive. And?—”

Something tight and hot coils in my gut at the thought of someone else touching Bella. At the thought of someone else with her at all. I’ve been around long enough to know the feeling of jealousy, and I can feel it sliding white-hot through my veins, just at the possibility of her wanting someone.

But I have no right to jealousy. Not with her. Not after what I just said.

“I don’t want to feel broken,” Bella whispers. “You gave me the first hint that maybe I don’t have to, last night. I never ever thought I could do something like that. That I would enjoy it. That it would be so—incredible.” She looks up at me under her lashes, her breath quickening, and I feel arousal slice through me, my cock stiffening in an instant. She has an undeniable effect on me, and this close, hearing that, it’s impossible to control.

I should tell her that with time, of course it’s possible. That with the right, patient person, she could work through all those fears. But I can’t get the words out, because the idea of any other man helping Bella work through her intimacy issues has jealousy burning through me, and I can’t stop it.

“You’ve helped me so much already,” she whispers. “You might be able to help me in another way.”

I tense, looking down at her, suddenly wary. “How?” My voice sounds raspy in my throat, my mouth dry. I don’t want to imagine that she means what it sounds like she does, because my control feels so very thin, and I can’t allow it to snap. Not with her. “You’ll have to explain, Bella.”

She swallows hard. “I know you want me,” she whispers, still looking up at me from under those long lashes, almost shyly, defying the words coming out of her mouth. “And I can’t pretend like I don’t want you. Not after last night. If we—” Her voice shakes a little. “If we agreed that it was no-strings-attached, and that it was just friends, you could?—”

I’m frozen, listening to her as she draws in another trembling breath, clearly working up her courage to finish. “You could—help me with my aversion to being touched.” She licks her lips nervously, and the sight jolts through me, making it feel hard to breathe. “We could start a little bit at a time, until?—”

For a moment, I can’t think of what to say. My brain feels scrambled, like I can’t properly form the words I’d need in order to answer her, the desperate desire to say yes to any and all of it warring with the practicality of whether or not this is truly a good idea.

My mind is telling me that this could go terribly wrong, and meanwhile, my throbbing cock is reminding me of all the ways it would feel so fucking right.

Not to mention, there’s some long-buried, kinky part of me that is horribly, thoroughly aroused at the idea of teaching her. Of taking each small step of her sexual education together, bit by bit, as she opens herself up to me in every way. The dynamic of it makes me feel dazed with arousal, all of the blood in my body shooting straight down to my dick.

Bella’s eyes drop, her cheeks flushing as she flattens herself against the wall. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles, clearly taking my shock as a rejection. “I shouldn’t have thought?—”

“I’m not telling you no,” I manage, and her eyes shoot back up to mine, nervous and faintly hopeful in a way that makes me feel like I’m going to lose my mind. “I just—we need to be clear about what it is that you want, Bella. What it is that we’re doing here.”

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