Page 43 of Vicious Temptation

“Just making sure,” I tell her, keeping my hand tightly wrapped around Danny’s so there’s no chance of losing him, either. I open the door for Cecelia as we walk up to the American Girl store, and as soon as she’s inside, she’s off like a shot. Danny wrinkles his nose, looking up at me.

“I wanna go to the Lego store,” he mumbles, and I laugh, squeezing his hand.

“We’ll go there next,” I promise him. “As soon as your sister has gotten what she wants.”

He seems mollified by that. We follow Cecelia through the store as she oohs and aahs over the dolls and their accessories and clothes, and I can’t help but be impressed. I loved these dolls when I was younger, too, and I would have loved to be in a store like this. It’s heaven for an eleven-year-old girl, and Cecelia’s face is bright with excitement. She zeroes in immediately on the doll she wanted, collecting her, and then browsing with the doll in her arms as she looks for the items she wants to go with her.

Gabriel said she could have whatever she wanted, so I don’t stop her as she collects the toy horse that goes along with the doll, a complete gymnastics set, a stuffed dog, and three other outfits. A slightly harried-looking employee joins us shortly into the shopping, taking Cecelia’s purchases to the register, except for the actual doll that she clearly very much wants to hang onto.

“I loved all of this when I was your age,” I tell her as we make another loop, Cecelia picking up outfits, peering at them, and putting them down again. She’s clearly taking this all very seriously, curating an outfit for her doll, and I can’t help but love that she’s so into it. Everyone deserves to have a hobby that they enjoy, a personal interest all for themselves. I hope the fact that Gabriel so clearly encourages this will ensure that Cecelia still has those interests and hobbies as she grows up.

“Really?” Cecelia looks up at me, surprised, as if it hadn’t occurred to her that I was once her age. But I remember that, being so shocked that adults were ever once young, when I was eleven.

I nod. “I had a bunch of the dolls. I never came here, though. It’s really magical.”

“It is.” Cecelia spins, her sundress floating around her knees, her face radiant with happiness. It’s infectious, and I smile as I watch her half-dance down the aisle. “Which one was your favorite?” she asks, turning to look at me, and I point to a different doll.

“Samantha.” I lead her in that direction, showing her the Victorian-themed doll. “I read her book and everything. I was obsessed with peppermint ice cream for months because of her.”

Cecelia looks at the brunette doll, and then back at me. “She’s pretty,” she says. “If I get the book, will you read it to me?”

Something in my chest warms at that, and I feel almost like I could cry. Cecelia was so suspicious of me when I first arrived, but she’s warmed up to me over the past months, and this feels like another step. Like we’re making progress.

“Of course,” I tell her firmly, and Cecelia beams.

“Let’s get her, too, then,” she says excitedly. “And the book.”

An hour later, we leave with two bags full of dolls, books, and accessories, Danny’s patience having very nearly run out. I promise him that the Lego store is next, and we walk in that direction, Cecelia skipping next to us.

It’s blisteringly hot, and I’m grateful for the freezing burst of air conditioning as we walk into the Lego store. I nearly push my sleeves up to my elbows, but I see a few men who are in the store with their own children glance my way, and a shiver runs down my spine that has nothing to do with the chill in the store. I curl my fingers around the edge of my sleeves, and follow Danny to the section with all of the superhero Legos.

He spends a few minutes in that section before darting to another, looking at dinosaurs and Star Wars vehicles and everything else that he could want. I keep one eye on him while I wander a little, too, glancing over some of the sets more curated for adults. There was a Lego version of a retro Polaroid camera that I lingered by as I watched Danny stack boxes next to his feet. I thought of what Gabriel had said earlier, that I should get myself something nice.

“Ma’am?” A thin young man who looked like he was younger than me hovered nearby. “Is he with you?” He nodded to Danny, and I laughed.

“Yes. Whatever he wants, just put it behind the register. I’ll pay when he’s finished.”

I thought I saw a hint of jealousy in the salesperson’s face as he nodded, going to collect Danny’s stack of purchases, and I couldn’t blame him. We were probably about to spend as much in just this store as he made in a month, possibly more.

I glanced at the camera again. Those, and the sets of flowers kept calling to me, and I considered it for just a moment. I thought having all those small pieces to put together might be good for my anxiety, that I could occupy some of my time in the evenings with it, and it looked like fun. But I couldn’t bring myself to spend Gabriel’s money on it.

He probably said that just to be nice, I thought, glancing once more at the camera. I remembered my own debit card and the allowance I usually had, and pulled out my phone just long enough to check the balance. If my father had added it this month, I could buy it on my own.

Something in my stomach dropped when I heard the balance—twenty-seven dollars, all that had been left after I’d spent the last of it going out with Clara before I’d taken the job with Gabriel. So my father had decided that I didn’t need it any longer, now that Gabriel was providing for me. A hot stab of resentment lanced through me, because I knew Gabriel had to be paying someone for the work I was doing, and it wasn’t me. Not resentment towards him, but towards my father, who couldn’t even bring himself to give me a percentage of that any longer. Sure, he probably imagined that I never left Gabriel’s house, but online shopping was a thing.

I pressed my lips together, walking away from the Lego camera as I saw that Danny seemed to be nearly finished. It’s just a toy, I told myself. One meant for older kids or adults, but still a toy, and something I didn’t need. But similarly to how I’d realized that my resentment over my father never taking me on outings like this had nothing to do with the material objects I wanted, and everything to do with time—this had nothing to do with not being able to buy the item itself, and everything to do with how happily my father had washed his hands of any responsibility towards me.

Until he could make more money by selling me off in another marriage, of course. Then, I would become valuable again.

I swallowed back the resentment, not wanting either Cecelia or Danny to notice it on my face. Instead, I collected them and we went to the register with Danny’s purchases—a Batmobile, a T-Rex and visitor’s center set from Jurassic Park, and a ship from Star Wars. Cecelia had found a set of Snow White’s cottage with all of the dwarves, and added it to the stack, while I swiped the black credit card and we gathered more bags.

I texted Jason, asking him if he could meet me to collect the purchases while we went to lunch. He replied almost immediately, letting me know he could, and we walked outside to wait for him to pull up and take the bags, before I looked over at Cecelia and Danny.

“What do you two want for lunch?” I asked, and the conflicting answers came almost immediately.

“Italian,” Cecelia said, at the same time that Danny enthusiastically put in a vote for burgers.

“What about a very fancy burger place?” I ask Cecelia. “They might even have one that has Italian flavors. But they have a lot of different stuff. I went there with Clara a while back.”

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