Page 51 of My Merciless Don

“Am I too heavy?” I asked.

“Never.”

I smiled at that answer but then gasped, and lifted my head, looking at him with narrowed eyes. “Say my name.” I demanded.

I smiled smugly. “Audry, Audry, Audry, Audry, Audry.” He said and lifted his eyebrows. “Happy?”

I put my head back on his chest. “Don’t be so smug.”

He laughed out loud, my head bouncing on his chest due to the movement of muscle. Smiling to myself, I sighed with contentment.

I could get used to this.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

AUDRY

The sunshine on my eyelids woke me up. A magnificent dawn was breaking as I opened my eyes, showcased through the huge bay windows of Marco's bedroom.

I blinked a few times, turning away from the rosy light, to burrow my head under the pillow. Beside me, Marco snored gently. He was lying on his back, his hands buried in his pillow, head turned slightly to the side. He was a picture, and I took advantage of his still being asleep to stare unashamedly at his beautiful form.

He'd pushed the covers down so that his chest was on display. I wanted to run my hands over the soft downy hairs between his pectorals, but I didn't want to wake him up. I just took my fill, sighing contentedly at the vision before me. My intrusive thoughts wanted to interfere and throw me into confusion, but I tried to push them away.

This was not the time.

Nonetheless, I couldn’t help thinking about Marco’s words to me. A hand offered in partnership. Would I even know what to do with that? What would that entail? I thought about Kylie; in a way she was my partner, but mostly I was her boss. I told her what to do and she did it.

I knew that I did not want that kind of relationship with Marco. If we were going to be a team, it had to be give and take. From where I was standing, I couldn't really see how we could be that. He was the head of a crime family, I was just a con artist. One who had stolen from him and his family.

How could we ever possibly reconcile that? And why the fuck would he want to?

My eyes slid all over his body, and I couldn't help frowning. No matter what he said, I suspected that it was my resemblance to Amy that made him so eager to forgive and forget. How could I possibly compete with a ghost? By virtue of being a memory, she would always be perfect, and I could never live up to that.

So what should I do? Quit while I’m ahead?

The smart money was on yes.

Admittedly it looked like my intrusive thoughts were winning by a mile, but I could not deny that they had a point. We were literally kidding ourselves, that we could what? Live happily ever after? It was laughable.

I tried to think about solutions. Maybe I could give back every cent that I had stolen and offer to work for Cosa Nostra for free - for a specified amount of time of course. That way we could build trust.

But what about my stepfather? He had expectations of me and those were not just going to disappear because I decided that I might be in love with a gangster. He wasn't just going to leave me alone, especially if he knew that I had an in to organized crime. I knew he had been trying to get one for some time.

I sat up, leaning against the headboard and staring out into Hollywood, and the very distant sounds of early morning traffic. I wanted to burrow back into the blankets, close my eyes and go back to sleep. I didn't want to think about any of these things. Maybe when Marco woke up, I could ask him what his vision was.

I stared longingly at the single strand of hair that had fallen over his face. Once again, I wanted to reach out with my finger and brush it away. But I still did not want to wake him. Once he was awake, the fantasy would officially be over. We would have to examine our plans and see if they held up in the cold light of day.

I was deathly afraid that they wouldn't. Not because of any lack of desire on either side, but just the lack of practicality. I liked to deal in concrete plans, and the truth was that I was a fugitive from Cosa Nostra because I stole from them. If that was all, we could deal with it. But the truth was that Marco had found in me a second chance to do right by his fiancée. To protect her and keep her safe. Maybe, probably, he liked me too. I could see that. It might even have been enough for me if I wasn't madly in love with him.

My entire body went cold as the realization washed over me.

I had no business being in love with anyone, let alone a mob boss. I would have laughed at myself if I wasn't trying to be quiet. I stared once again at Marco, shaking my head in self-deprecation.

What a fool I was.

I leaned my head back, thinking about all those romcoms I ever watched with Kylie, where the heroine was a hot mess, and she went off to find herself before coming back and telling the hero that she chose herself just before he threw himself at her declaring undying love. I always used to jeer at those stories, but maybe they had a point.

Whatever was between Marco and me, I could never trust it until I knew who I really was. My mother had cognitive issues, and my father was apparently in denial. But my stepfather might know something. It was doubtful that a criminal just chose a random girl from an orphanage to adopt, without a reason and without doing some due diligence. If anyone knew what happened to me, what happened to us in that hospital, it was probably him.

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