Page 31 of Hunter's Trial

That was the reason why I never could have had anything with Lilian, and why I told her that she couldn’t keep Henry. I knew that the moment my father found out about them, he would have had Henry killed in front of the both of us.

Anya, on the other hand, seemed perfect – for a while. My ambition overpowered hers. She was the right fit for my father’s standards of what a good Bratva wife was supposed to be. Our child would have been his dream grandchild – I think subconsciously that’s why I was so determined to make things work with her.

Which is why I had been such a guard dog around her at all times, always forcing her to remain in line no matter how much she rebelled. I just held on tighter and tighter. It was toxic. I can see that now. I can admit that Alek is better for her.

It doesn’t even leave a sour taste in my mouth anymore to say it.

Kate’s daughter’s voice pulls me back to the present.

“Who is he?” She mutters so softly that I almost don’t hear the words spoken into Kate’s hair.

Kate glances at me. “Oh him? He’s a friend.” She shrugs her shoulder a touch too causally for my liking.

Her daughter shakes her head as if disagreeing with her. “He’s scary.”

“Scary?! Him? He might as well be the easter bunny.”

Oof. Talk about a serious blow to my ego. Out of all the creatures that she could have picked in every realm that’s the one that she chose? Though, from the nearly gleeful look of triumph on her face, I can tell that’s exactly the outcome that she was looking for.

Kate might be the first woman that I can learn to be myself around.

Maybe she can even be the first woman that I let myself… fall for.

If I can truly let the Bratva go and open a new chapter for myself. Maybe I can finally allow myself to live.

“What’s your name?” The girl asks, interrupting my thoughts. I glance at Kate, not sure why I feel the need to make sure that it’s okay that I talk to her kid. I don’t have too much experience with young kids as it is.

She nods encouragingly.

“Liz, the polite thing is to introduce yourself first, and then you hold out your hand to shake and ask for his name after.”

“But he’s scary.”

“He’s not so bad, I promise. Besides, it’s good that he’s a little bit scary. That means that he can keep all of the other scary things away from us. Isn’t that right?” Kate says.

I clear my throat roughly. “Yes, that’s right. I’m Nikolai.”

“Nikolai?” Liz asks, her head tilting to the side. “Why does your voice sound funny?”

“Because I speak another language.”

“Oh! That’s cool!” Liz says, immediately her whole posture and body language toward me shifts. She releases Kate and scoots over on her knees to get closer to me. “What does it sound like?”

I mutter some random lines from a Russian nursery rhyme that my mother once told me. She never got the lines in the right order, or even finished the story – but it does the trick for Liz.

“Can you teach me some?!” Liz says, but before I can answer she is overtaken by a mighty yawn that stops her speech. Sleep is winning. Good. At least the nightmares aren’t going to keep her up all night the way they tend to to for me. She’s clearly a tough little kid.

She snuggles up in the bed beside her mother and Kate wraps Liz up tightly. It doesn’t feel right to lie there with them, so I gesture to the bathroom. I just need a moment.

I close the bathroom door and turn the sink on for a little bit of additional privacy. I splash some cool water on my face and attempt to collect myself better. I never had that sort of relationship with a parent. Seeing them together is just so natural and easy. Even with Anya, Alek, and Henry the other day – I can see now what I’ve missed out on. I’m never going to get another chance with Henry. I know it’s too late now. I don’t blame them. My actions were wholly unforgiveable.

Both Kate and Liz are asleep when I come back into the bedroom. Kate’s eyes stir under her eyelids for a moment as I walk past the bed. Her fingers twitch, beckoning me closer and I pause just long enough to kiss her forehead.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep everything safe till morning.” I assure her.

She smiles softly. “Stay?”

I want to… but I can’t. That’s not a line that I’m ready to cross just yet.

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