Page 13 of Addiction

He’d had to kill. She inhaled sharply at the terrifying thought. If Tucker hadn’t killed the guy with the gun, he might have shot us. But still… She swallowed. To have acted so ruthlessly—how could she end up with someone who thought that was acceptable?

Nothing about what had transpired was normal behavior. Yes, Tucker had saved himself, and likely, he’d saved her, too, but at what cost? For all her physical weariness, Ella couldn’t escape the harrowing mental image of what she’d witnessed. She suspected the corpse they’d left behind would haunt her forever, but worse was the idea that there was still a band of men, led by her own father no less, who were on their trail.

What would happen if Alexander and his guns found them? She couldn’t genuinely believe she was in danger, but maybe after all this time, she was still being naïve. Daddy had already seen fit to offer her to Tucker. Who knows what else he was capable of doing?

But even if I survive, what will happen to Tucker?

Her self-preservation instinct warned her she shouldn’t care, but she knew that she did. Would they kill Tucker in cold blood in front of her? Anxiety closed her throat at the paralyzing idea. How could she live with that?

“Oh God.” The words slipped past her lips as though she’d forgotten how to hold them in. Perhaps she was only too exhausted?

“What?” He paused, turning to look at her. “Are you hurt?”

“I…” Unable to meet his gaze, she glanced away. “I just keep thinking about that man. We killed him…” You killed him. “And left him in the forest. How can that be right, sir?” She forced herself to look into his eyes, hoping to find the answers there.

“I learned a long time ago that there is no right or wrong.” His tone was melancholy. “Only social constructs we create and use to control other people. He was after us. He had a gun. So, I eliminated the threat he posed.”

His voice was matter of fact, as though slicing another man’s throat was nothing to him, but Ella couldn’t believe that was true. She’d spent time with Tucker, had started to understand a little of who he was and what made him tick, and she couldn’t correlate that person with the slaughterer she’d seen in the forest.

“I can’t stop thinking about it.” It was all she could say. She had a good idea that however far she went from those woods, the troubling expression of Tucker’s victim would long linger in her head.

“I know.” His hand reached into her hair and cradled her. “I never intended to expose you to such barbarism, and for that, I’m genuinely sorry.”

“You were doing what you had to do, sir.”

As his fingers tightened in her hair, she wanted to believe those words more than anything else. It was one thing to know your only guide in this nightmare had once been paid to kill but quite another to have seen him in the act. The fact was, the hand in her hair offering consolation was the same one that had carved the guy’s throat.

How did she get past that?

“I understand.” Her voice didn’t carry half as much conviction as she’d hoped. Closing her eyes, the mental image of the bloodied body reappeared in her head and forced her gaze back open.

“It’ll be dark soon.” Leaning closer, he grazed his mouth across her forehead. “The car isn’t far ahead. Let’s keep going.”

Her chin rose at his words. The car? Had he just said there was a car?

“A car, sir?” Her pulse accelerated at the possibility. She wasn’t sure how there could be a car out in the middle of nowhere, but the idea certainly sounded good to her fatigued feet.

“That’s right.” His lips twitched into a small smile. “How else do you think I get from here to the city when I need supplies or to get money from my debtors?”

He offered her an unexpected wink, the gesture doing nothing to assuage her hammering heart.

“So…” She glanced around as though she anticipated that a parking lot full of sleek vehicles would appear. “You keep a car nearby?” Although obviously, the concept of what was ‘nearby’ was relative in a forest as large as the one she’d been abandoned in.

“I do.” His hand fell from her hair to her shoulder. “I love the wilderness, but even I have to make a getaway sometimes.”

“And the keys, sir?” She searched his face for any sign that this was the latest ruse she might fall for. After so long on foot, the notion of driving somewhere sounded heavenly, but if it turned out to be nothing more than a cruel game, she might lose her mind. “Where do you keep those?”

“In here.” He motioned to the enormous pack on his shoulder. “Any other questions, little girl?”

Ella had plenty of questions. She wanted to know where he intended to take her in his mystery car and what would happen to them after that. For every fucked-up thing that had happened to and around her since she’d arrived in Tucker’s ‘care,’ she couldn’t shake the premise that there might be a ‘them’ beyond the bleak boundary of the woods. A killer he might be, and it still remained to be seen if he was one with a shred of conscience or remorse, but he still utterly mesmerized her.

Aside from returning home to Susie and Julia, she realized she had little else in her life to live for. Of course, she missed the money and grandeur, and she’d swap her old bedroom for his shack in the forest any day, but her time with Tucker had taught her a few hard truths.

Life was about more than boutique-shopping and Instagram. It was about living and feeling. The complex myriad of feelings she’d experienced with him were something she’d never known before, and she couldn’t imagine giving them up. She had definitely loathed him sometimes. Hell, she’d have happily put a spanner in his works on that first night when he trussed her up in the barn, but things had changed since then. A lot had happened between them. Words had been exchanged, as had feelings. It seemed no one could provoke her the way Tucker could.

“Probably none that you’ll answer, sir.” Returning his smirk, she reached for his hand, amazed that after everything, the man could still surprise her. She wasn’t sure how she envisioned getting away from the wilderness, but a secret car had not been one of her hypothetical solutions.

“You know me so well.” For a moment, he merely allowed her fingers to entwine with his, his gaze piercing hers.

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