Page 64 of Romancing Rem'eb

I want to stay in this hut with Tia forever. I want to nibble on the foods left for us and then return to the furs for more kisses and caresses. I want her underneath me or on top of me, and then we collapse together, sated and content. I want to see her weave her first project on the loom and the pride she will have on her face.

I want to watch her belly grow round with my child and watch it come into this world.

But I am Chief’s son. I am the Fist. And because of that, I do not get any of this. I must help my people, no matter what it costs me.

I look over at Tia, and the sadness is back in her eyes, her shoulders slumped with defeat. She knows what I am thinking, and no words are needed. We both know.

“Tomorrow,” I agree, hiding my despair. “Will you inform Set’nef the Wanderer and Tal’nef the Swiftest on my behalf, Noj’me?”

“Of course! I shall tell the others!” She jumps to her feet, regarding us.

“Others,” I echo, trying to think. “What others?”

“The human clowns and the taters.”

“Clones,” Tia murmurs, her mouth quirking. “Clones, not clowns.”

“Cloooohns,” Noj’me agrees. “The words are very similar. You said we could bring others with us, and so I have asked around. I have told them we are leaving to go find the Great Ancestor and some of them wish to join us. Colleen does, and one of the taters. Another female, too. And we cannot forget R’jaal the Stranger and Rosalind the Berry-and.”

So many. It makes me want to go on this journey even less, because it means I will not have much time alone with my mate. Yet I made this promise to her. How can I go back on it now? “Invite who you like,” I say wearily. I do not care who comes along. “Just make sure they are ready in the morning.”

“Wonderful,” Noj’me announces and gets to her feet. “If we are leaving in the morning, we must pack now. I should speak with the others. Unless you wish to meet with them first? Or should we wait until the weather is nicer? Perhaps we should see if?—”

“We go tomorrow,” I say, my gaze on Tia. She will not look me in the eye. I keep watching her, even as I answer Noj’me. “Even if it is snowing. If they are not ready to go by sunrise, they will not be coming with us.”

“Eep!” Noj’me races out of the hut with a laugh. “We will be ready! See you at sunrise!”

The door flap slaps shut behind her, and then I am left alone with Tia. My sweet, lovely, fragile stranger. She stares at her hands in her lap, all the excitement from the loom gone. She does not speak.

“The sooner we leave, the sooner I will be able to understand you,” I tell her. “It is for the best.”

“Swut we hagreed on,” she says, voice gentle. Her hands twist in her lap. “S’fine.”

I do not need words to know what she is thinking. I know, because I am thinking the same. We agreed to this and yet…it feels too sudden, too soon. I want another handful of days of resonance. I want a handful of turns. I am not ready, either.

Yet I must do my duty. It is the job of the chief’s son.

I remind myself that the lives of many are worth more than the happiness of myself and of Tia. Returning is the right thing to do…and I am so tired of it all. For once, I want to do the wrong thing, the selfish thing.

“I am sorry, Tia.”

She looks up at me, and her eyes are shimmering with unshed tears. But she shakes her head and crawls across the floor toward me. “No, no. No sorry.” She slides into my lap and cups my face with her hands. “No sorry. Wegreed. S’our deel.”

“I wish I did not have my obligations to my people,” I tell her, a knot in my throat. How can I leave her behind? It will be like leaving half of myself behind. I cannot even think about the child we have made, or I will be utterly destroyed.

“S’our deel,” Tia repeats softly, and tilts my face down so she can kiss me. “No sorry.”

I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. It does not matter if it was what we agreed upon or not. I still hate it.I hate it, and time feels as if it is sweeping away from us, like the water that sweeps back from the shore.

Far too aware of losing what time we have left, I kiss my mate hungrily, bearing her down into the furs. If we only have a few days left together, let all of them be full of touches and joy. I kiss her and kiss her, and ignore the knot in my throat that will not leave.

Chapter

Thirty

TIA

Our traveling party is a nicely distracting group. Just like Noj’me had mentioned, she’s brought along several people. Set’nef and Tal’nef are with us, but R’jaal and Rosalind opted to stay behind. Instead, we have Harlow and Rukh with us, and their two children. Colleen and Natalie from the group of clones are with us, and one of the gladiators (I refuse to call them taters) named Chalath who looks like he’s got some cat genes.

---