Page 76 of Deadly Secrets

Fucking Maggie…

Ander looked at me, leaving it up to me to decide whether I wanted to respond.

“Yes, Maggie. I’m here. Give me a minute. I need to finish my conversation with Ander. I’ll be in your room in five.” I couldn’t hear Maggie’s footsteps walking away from Ander’s bedroom door, so I held off for a few seconds before saying anything to Ander.

I softly kissed him after I put my bra back in place.

“I need to go,” I said.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” He looked remorseful. I knew he was referring to my Zayn and Noah predicament, but I didn’t want Ander to feel guilty for his actions. I had also displayed a lack of self-control, so we were both responsible for what had happened. And I knew I should feel guilty for adding an extra layer of complication to my life, but with Ander, whatever was happening between us felt right. Deep down, as much as I wanted to brush my feelings for him aside, I knew this would eventually happen, especially after the moment we shared at his apartment.

“Don’t. Please don’t ruin it. I enjoyed every second of it, Ander.” I tenderly caressed his cheek, locking my gaze with his. I could easily get lost in the depths of his blue eyes.

“I understand you have feelings for Zayn and Noah, but it’s just… I can’t help it. Every moment I’m near you, I want to kiss you, to feel you. I probably shouldn’t be saying this, especially since Zayn and Noah are my closest friends. And it’s even more complicated since Zayn will soon become my stepbrother.”

His declaration caused my heart to skip a beat. I couldn’t count the nights I’d yearned to hear those words from him or how many times I had cried myself to sleep in Sarah’s dorm, missing him. He once was my best friend, my first kiss, but then we became strangers. And now, he was right here, standing in front of me. Zayn and Noah were also present, not physically in the room but occupying my thoughts. The whole situation was messed up. It felt like my heart was splitting into three pieces, and I had no idea how to prevent them from tearing it apart completely.

“Every time something big happened to me, like when I got into Stanford, I wanted to tell you about it. After all these years, I still felt your absence in my life. I’m not sure what the future holds, but one thing is certain: I want you to be a part of it, no matter what,” I confessed.

Ander kissed me once more. I couldn’t get enough of his kisses.

We stood at his door, my hand on the doorknob.

“Let’s enjoy Christmas for now. Noah’s coming on the 27th to spend a few days with us, so maybe all of us can talk and figure things out,” he suggested. “See you at dinner?”

“Yes. I’ll see you at dinner.” I leaned in and gently kissed his lips before making my way to Maggie’s room.

I didn’t even have a chance to knock before Maggie swung the door open, her grin stretching from ear to ear, much like the Grinch.

“Well, well, well. Or should I say Hoe Hoe Hoe, Merry Christmas? It only took you, what, thirty minutes? I bet on before midnight, but I underestimated you.”

My cheeks turned red, and I felt the heat radiating across my face.

“Shut up, Maggie.”

“Oh baby,” she said with a smirk. “You know I won’t.”

* * *

“Tell me. What’s the deal with the three musketeers?”

We still had a couple of hours until we had to get ready for dinner, so Maggie and I reclined on the bed, resting on our sides and facing each other. I placed one hand underneath my cheek and sighed.

“This is a mess. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I shouldn’t be pining for three men, especially when they are best friends. What does this situation say about me?” Maggie went to open her mouth, and I stopped her. “You know what? Don’t tell me. I have an idea of what you must think about me…”

“No, you don’t,” she retorted. “You’re human, and I don’t believe in soulmates. I know you like all three of them for very different reasons. I’m not going to judge you, and you know it.” Her words gave me some level of reassurance. “In fact,” she continued, “I kind of admire you. I wished I had the same confidence to be so open about my sexuality, but…” Her expression turned somber.

“But what?” I pushed her.

“This conversation is too heavy for my liking.”

I wondered what could have possibly happened to Maggie and why she wanted to cut the conversation short. Was she bullied in high school? Did someone mine her confidence when it came to sex?

“You know you can tell me anything. It’ll stay between us, I promise.”

She paused momentarily, contemplating whether she wanted to open up to me. Then she rolled onto her back, her eyes fixed on the ceiling and her lips forming a thin line.

“I want to share a story with you, but I need you to promise me that you won’t breathe a word of it to anyone, especially not the guys. I don’t want them to see me as a broken toy.”

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