Page 41 of Deadly Secrets

“If you wanna say something, say it. I can see you watching me from the corner of my eye,” Ander blurted.

I’d tried starting a conversation with him several times, like every single day, but he’d completely ignored every one of my foolish attempts, so for the past twenty minutes, I’d been burning the side of his face with my stare while Reed explained a protocol to the entire lab.

“Nothing in particular. You look upset, but I guess that is your go-to mood.” I was getting a bit annoyed with his attitude today. He wouldn’t talk to me unless it was to provide instructions or to point out when I was doing something wrong.

Everyone had already exited the lab when Ander turned around.

“I don’t know why you care now. You never did.”

“I don’t know what you mean. I always cared for you, and you know it. You were my best friend,” I said.

“Yeah, sure thing, Sienna. You always did.” The sarcasm filled his voice, shooting me like an arrow.

“Fucking say it. Whatever is eating you alive. Say it!” I yelled at him.

He dropped his backpack and stampeded across the room until he faced me. Ander looked furious with fire in his eyes.

“You fucking ditched me! You ignored me for a fucking year! For fuck’s sake, Sienna. I wrote to you every single month for a year. Do you know how many fucking letters? Twelve fucking letters. Twelve! All of them telling you how much I missed you, asking you why you didn’t write back. I wondered every time I checked the mailbox why you would give me the cold shoulder. It drove me insane! But you know what was the worst thing? You sending your father’s errand boy asking me to put an end to it. You didn’t have the balls to even tell me yourself!”

My mouth dropped.

“What the fuck are you talking about? I never received a fucking letter from you! I was the one who actually wrote to you twice. I even sneaked out from my house to come over and see you during the first summer break, even though my father had expressly forbidden me to see you. But the moment I walked around your yard, there you were, in the swimming pool with Silvia’s arms around your neck and a smile from ear to ear. She was thrilled from being in your arms.” I was out of breath, tears burning behind my eyes. “You had clearly moved on, and I wasn’t gonna stay and humiliate myself over a guy who had forgotten me. I felt betrayed. I thought we had something special, and you ruined it!”

We didn’t say a word for a minute. Our breathing accelerated from the heated argument. Ander closed the small distance between us. I could feel his body almost pressed to mine, his breath caressing my lips, and my eyes dropped to his mouth. His eyes kept darting back and forth between my mouth and my eyes. Was he going to kiss me? He hesitated and took a step back. My heart shattered once more.

“Tell yourself all the lies you need to hear, love, but the truth is, you didn’t care. And now I don’t.” Ander turned and stormed out of the lab, slamming the door behind him.

I couldn’t breathe. I needed air.

So then, did he write to me after all? He says he did, but I didn’t receive any letters. Or was he just lying?

You sending your father’s errand boy asking me to put an end to it.

Then it clicked.

I took my phone out of my back pocket and dialed the only person who would know about this.

Could it be true? I had to know.

“Hi, Sienna. Good to hear from you. Everything alright?” Jerry greeted me as soon as he answered the phone.

“Hi, Jerry. All good, thanks. Something very weird just happened, and you might be the only person who might know what happened.” I tried calming my breathing to avoid sounding like an angry pit bull.

“Hmm, okay.”

“Alexander Scott is studying at Stanford. You remember him, right? William Scott’s son. He just said he wrote to me while I was in Switzerland and that you knew something about it. But I never received any letters from him, so I’m a bit confused…care to explain?”

Silence stretched for a few seconds, but I heard him sigh at the other end of the line.

“It was for your own good. Your father gave me clear instructions to intercept any communications from the Scotts, so I obliged.”

So it was true. Ander wrote to me as he promised. He never forgot about me.

“How could you?” A single tear trickled down my cheek. “You know how much I cared about him. How could you?” Before he could respond, I hung up the phone. I wasn’t willing to hear any apologies from his mouth although I doubted he would apologize. He did what my father had asked of him, and like Ander said, he was always the most loyal assistant to my father. More tears streamed down my face as I struggled to take shallow breaths, feeling a heavy pressure on my chest. I felt humiliated and betrayed. No wonder Ander was so mad at me. I had disappointed him; I’d broken his heart, and my dad had broken mine. I loved him, more than a friend, and now I wondered what would have happened if I had received those letters.

What had he written in them? Did he feel the same way I felt when I left him at the bus stop? But then I remembered what I saw: him and Silvia Tucker almost kissing each other in the swimming pool. No, he never loved me. He might have missed me, but only as a friend. Otherwise, he would have reached out after he had found my letters. He would have found a way.

I was upset, mostly with myself, for entertaining the thought of kissing him back if he had kissed me and for how I felt when he comforted me after the house of mirrors incident. The reality of my feelings scared me because what I had come to realize in the past few weeks was that I still had feelings for Ander. And I knew I had to put an end to it.

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