Page 29 of Deadly Secrets

You’re the sweetest, Sienna, but I don’t want to become a burden.

Me

Look. I have money, but I like to spend it making people happy. That makes me happy. And I like you. You’re now my friend, so let me spoil you.

Maggie

You’re the best. See you at Gino’s at 1:15 p.m.

Me

Cool. I’ll reserve us a table. See you tomorrow!

Meeting Maggie had been one of the highlights of the month. She was funny, intelligent, bold, and fucking resilient. I wondered how her life during those years in foster care had been. Was she happy? She definitely broke the statistics because I was sure not many kids with that background would be able to rise and achieve what she had accomplished so far. Stanford University might not be an Ivy League college, but it is one of the most prestigious schools in the country, so receiving a scholarship was a strong achievement.

I opened my Instagram account. Noah had sent me a request to connect. His profile was open with over six hundred photos and reels—he definitely was a social butterfly and loved the attention. I scrolled down through his feed because this might not be the real Noah, but it was the Noah he wanted to portray in front of the world, which can also say a lot about a person. There were plenty of pictures of nights out, snowboarding, and surfing. None of the photographs were curated, so I guessed he liked to be seen as a fun person who was wild and carefree. My eyes stopped, and I clicked on one specific post. He was laughing with Ander, and Zayn looked intensely at the camera. The three of them were sitting on a sandy beach, Ander and Noah with their knees bent to their chest and Zayn lying back on his elbows. I couldn’t believe they were friends, a twisted coincidence.

She is THE girl he fucked in the restroom.

That was what Ander had said. I wondered how much Zayn had told them about me. It was all a fucking mess. I had kissed and or fucked the three of them. Great stuff, Sienna.

I closed the app, and there it was on my home screen: a picture of me with my parents from last Christmas staring back at me. My stomach sank, a dreadful feeling rising in my chest—shame on me. Here I was, going out, laughing, being happy, meeting guys at bars, and enjoying life. I shouldn’t feel like that, right? Was I a horrible person? After all, my parents had just died a couple of months ago.

The guilt overtook every fiber of my body, and I started crying. The guilt of being happy without them because happiness shouldn’t be part of the equation. I’d lost the two people I loved the most, my only family, and I should have felt broken. I didn’t deserve to feel like I did when I woke up in Noah’s arms. And I cried and cried, holding a pillow, sinking my face in it. I was a horrible person, a selfish bitch.

Perhaps it would be wise to take a break from seeing Noah for a while and redirect my focus toward my studies. I was sure my parents would want me happy, but it felt like I was moving on too quickly. The weight of guilt pressed heavily upon me, filling me with self-loathing. Right now, I was simply too exhausted to contemplate what lay ahead. With a heavy sigh, I closed my eyes, allowing the guilt to consume me as sleep claimed me. That night, my dreams were haunted by memories of my parents, and upon awakening the following day, the guilt still lingered, refusing to release its grip.

Chapter 11. STAY THE FUCK AWAY

(Noah)

I was standing outside Aster Hall.

Sienna hadn’t replied to any of my texts all week, and I was beginning to feel anxious. Despite having only met a few times before spending the night at my apartment, I felt strangely comfortable around her. She was constantly on my mind, but I knew I needed to give her space. Perhaps she was feeling guilty about our hookup and was having second thoughts.

I’d been playing our night together over and over again. She felt amazing. My cock twitched inside my jeans just thinking about her smell, her mouth, her pussy, and her soft skin. I needed to see her again. I needed her in my bed again. Soon.

Zayn hadn’t brought her up in our conversations, but I knew we needed to discuss the fact that Sienna was the Tribeca girl at some point. I didn’t know how he felt about her now that he knew she was at Stanford, but I wanted to be very clear with him. Sienna was mine. It wasn’t like we hadn’t shared girls before, sometimes even at the same time, but with Sienna, it felt different. I only wanted her for myself and wasn’t open to sharing her with Zayn.

He better stay the fuck away.

I would talk to him, but I just needed to find a moment when Ander wasn’t in the room. He behaved like a complete asshole on my birthday, and I wasn’t willing to put up with his shit anymore. I’d been ignoring his calls all week. Ander was probably calling me to apologize, but he was never genuinely sorry when he fucked up, so his apologies were usually wrapped up around two tickets to the Los Angeles Lakers. He said he didn’t care if I fucked Sienna, but he did because no one who didn’t give a shit would react the way he did when he saw us together. I wondered what happened between them…I didn’t want to poke the bear, but I might ask Sienna.

Aster Hall’s main door opened, and Sienna walked out the door.

“Hello, princess. I feel a bit hurt. You’ve been ignoring me all week,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Hi, Noah. I’m sorry. I swear I haven’t been ignoring you. It’s just…”

“Try again. You’re a terrible liar.”

She sighed.

“Look. I know I owe you an explanation, but can we please not do this here?”

“Have dinner with me tonight.”

“Are you asking me on a date? I don’t know, Noah…”

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