Page 51 of Deadly Secrets

For a second, my heart was crushed by the possibility that Sienna didn’t want me anymore, but after the shock was over, I couldn’t stop watching. I should have left when I saw Zayn between her legs and heard Sienna’s moans, but my feet were glued to that spot, and my breathing picked up. Seeing them gave me a hard-on, something I didn’t see coming.

The image of them fucking kept replaying in my mind. I even considered taking the matter into my own hands. My right hand, to be more specific. But I just couldn’t do it. It felt wrong jerking off to the memory of my best friend pounding into my girl while she moaned with every thrust…so I spent the rest of the night in my room, tossing and turning in my bed with the worst erection of my life. I was angry, worried, and horny. All at the same time.

Sienna texted me this morning saying that we needed to talk, but I skipped breakfast, cowardly hiding in my room and planning what I wanted to say to my girl.

Yes, she was still my girl until further notice.

All I knew was that I still wanted to see her, but I had no clue if she felt the same or if it was the right move. I could have any girl I wanted, but the only one I truly craved was Sienna. Would she pick Zayn over me? Could I really let go and forgive what went down in that kitchen if she chose me?

Before I found myself spiraling, I made the choice to go for a run to clear my mind. I changed into my sports clothes, slipped into my trainers, grabbed my AirPods and iPhone, and ventured out of my room. As soon as I exited the manor, I was greeted by a refreshing crispness in the air. The atmosphere was filled with a serene silence, interrupted only by the soft rustling of leaves under my feet. The tranquility of the surroundings enveloped me, creating a sense of solitude and peace. “Pray For Me” by The Weeknd and Kendrick Lamar played as I kept running around Scott Manor. My legs were screaming, and my entire body ached. I bent over, my hands resting on top of my knees and my lungs about to explode, but my mind was as clear as the sky. I wasn’t going down without a fight because that girl belonged to me. If Zayn believed for a second that I’d let her go, he was sorely mistaken.

I was walking with a steady and resolute pace toward Ander’s house when I saw Sienna sitting on the steps by the main door. She was clearly waiting for me, so I picked up my pace and kept my emotions in check. I didn’t want her to catch a glimpse of how hurt I was, so I slapped on the poker face my mom had taught me, which came in handy during political shenanigans. I stopped in front of her but stayed silent. I wanted to hear what she had to say before I even considered opening my mouth.

“Can we talk?” Sienna asked.

I began making my way back toward the trees, motioning with my head to signal her to follow me. A few feet into the row of trees, I halted, allowing her to initiate the conversation.

“I can explain. I know it’s a typical thing to say, but it’s true. I want…I need to explain myself to you. I owe you that much,” she said.

“I’m all ears.”

“When I met Zayn in New York, I felt this connection with him that I had never felt before. It wasn’t only the sex but also how easy it was to talk to him in that bar. I never expected to see him again, and then you came into the picture. I really like you, Noah. You’re funny, exciting, smart, and the sex is amazing…mind-blowing amazing—”

“I can sense a ‘but.’”

Sienna sighed.

“But when Zayn showed up in my life again, I couldn’t stop those feelings from returning. I mean, I still like you, but I also have feelings for him. It’s fucked up, I know…but it’s the truth. And now I’m fucking confused.”

“What are you confused about? It was clear to me last night that you prefer his dick.”

“Don’t be an asshole!” She ran her fingers through her hair, sighing in defeat. “I don’t want you over him or him over you. I’m just confused because I don’t know what to do…I want to be with you,” she said, tears gathering in her eyes. “But I understand if you don’t want to see me again. I get it.” Sienna’s voice carried a broken tone as if the mere thought of me ending whatever the fuck we had would be too much for her to bear.

“Look. I’m going to be completely honest. Seeing you last night with him was really painful, and I know we never talked about seeing other people. I love Zayn like a brother, but I don’t know exactly what you’re asking me. Do you want to be with both of us? Do you need time to decide? What do you want? Because I really want you, but I don’t like feeling like a fool like I felt last night.” I was raw and honest. A part of me didn’t want to end things with her, but I wasn’t sure I felt comfortable sharing her with him. “I need time to think about what I want, too,” I said. “Maybe in that time, you can think about what you want because if you don’t, you will only end up hurting both of us. And I won’t tolerate it.”

She nodded.

“Good. Let’s go back to the manor. We need to get ready for Thanksgiving.”

She turned around but hesitated.

“Can I ask you a favor?” she said. “Can you not mention what happened to Ander? I don’t want to stir more shit between us, and that would be unavoidable if he finds out.”

“No worries, but make sure Zayn also keeps his mouth shut. He enjoys provoking Ander, and he’ll exploit this situation at the slightest chance he gets.”

Chapter 19. SPILLING THE TEA

(Zayn)

Part of me felt like a dick, but the truth was that I didn’t regret it. Not in the slightest. I’d struggled to suppress my feelings for Sienna for the past two months, but I couldn’t resist when she kissed me last night. I tried talking to Noah this morning when he came from his run, but he told me to give him some space and that he would talk to me when he was ready.

My mom had been decorating the living room and dining room all morning with Rosita, our housekeeper. I’d never seen her this excited since my dad passed away three years ago. Seeing her with another man was hard, but I was glad she was at least finding some happiness with someone.

“Are we allowed to have wine? I need a drink.” Sienna’s voice came from behind me. When I turned around, my mouth dropped. She looked stunning. She wore an off-the-shoulder dark blue dress that clung to her curves, reaching just above her knees and black high heels. Her long brunette hair flowed in waves, gracefully cascading around her shoulders. She looked like a goddess.

“Please, help yourself,” my mom replied to Sienna.

“Can I help you, Mom?”

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