Page 47 of Aim Assist

One by one, his armor changes. At some point, his orc wears a tattered white sundress. It's fucking hilarious, and I can see my entire stream spamming the chat with laughing-while-crying emojis.

When he's done, the transformation is impressive. Gone is simple casual wear, and now he's outfitted from head to toe in what looks like tac gear.

Of course it is.

Ash Bandit: There. Now you might survive more than five seconds.

Sir Trixalot: Thanks, Ash. You're a lifesaver. You're a queen among RPG mortals. I bow before you.

And his character does, with a flourish.

So, the guy couldn't figure out how to equip weapons, but he found all the emotes.

I roll my eyes as a small smile tugs at my lips. Damn charming orc.

Ash Bandit: Yeah, yeah. C'mon, let's go beat up some monsters. Bet I can kill more than you.

Sir Trixalot: Oh, you're on!

Sending him a party invite—something I learned how to do thanks to all the pop up tutorial windows Liam apparently never reads—we charge off towards the quest marker, a tentative truce formed in the name of virtual monster slaughter.

Dust swirls across the cracked pavement as we leave the safety of the city walls behind. I steer my elf towards a rusted gas station in the distance, its faded sign creaking in the wind.

Glancing back, I see Liam's orc lumbering along, stopping every few steps. He must be typing again. I bite back a groan. At this rate, we'll never make it to the quest marker.

"Just use auto-run!" I yell across the room.

"Auto-what now?" His confused voice once again has my stream exploding with laughing emojis.

K groans. "In the game, guys. The game."

Right.

I sigh heavily. Of course he wouldn't know.

Ash Bandit: Auto-run. So you don't have to keep hitting the forward button. Your character will just... run automatically.

Sir Trixalot: Oh. Uh, how do I do that?

Ash Bandit: On keyboard, it's the forward slash key. Far right side, next to the right shift key.

His orc suddenly lurches forward.

Only he doesn't stop when he reaches me. He keeps sprinting.

Sir Trixalot: Cool! Wait. Shit. Too fasts! /////// Dammit wtf

The orc on screen zigzags wildly before coming to an abrupt halt against a rusted truck.

Sir Trixalot: Okay, I think I figured it out.

Ash Bandit: You have to stop when you reach your destination.

Sir Trixalot: Haha, very funny.

His character follows behind as we approach the derelict building. I scan the boarded-up windows and crumbling walls as he approaches the NPC to begin the quest.

A glowing red timer materializes in the corner of my screen, ticking down from sixty seconds.

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