Page 44 of Clawless

He kissed my cheek again – which wasn’t missed by the flow of students around us – but I just watched him walk away. Were his sly little remarks and cheek kisses the shifter version of flirting? Was this how alphas treated omegas they were interested in? My only experience was with Jasper, and he’d been more about dragging me into empty classrooms and ravishing my mouth like it contained his last breath. But then, I hadn’t been an omega with Jasper. And everyone in the school seemed to think we were the definition of a bad match. As I moved off to gym, I could sense the side-glances from my classmates, and they weren’t all disapproving.

As I gave the cheer routines the same enthusiasm I’d given the two-step, I waited for a chance to get Nadia alone. I hadn’t spoken to her or Jasmine since Den Night and the distance from my friends had been niggling at me. We snatched a moment between routines, but there was an almost wounded look on her face as we hovered over our water bottles. “You’re really with him? You’re not just staying there because you don’t want to come back to Omega House?”

I stared at her worried face for a moment, trying to will the words off my tongue. I needed my friends to believe in my relationship with Reed if I was going to pull off the claiming on Saturday. It had to seem spontaneous. Like we just couldn’t help ourselves. But right now, I couldn’t help the way my heart clenched at my friend’s disappointment. “Things have changed, Nadia. Reed is helping me out. As a friend, but maybe something more.”

She studied her shoes as I waited on her response. I hadn’t exactly been gushing with infatuation about my prospective new romance, but maybe that wasn’t my style. Jasper was the only guy I’d ever dated, if you could call what happened between us something as tame as dating. Maybe I was more like Reed. Cheek kisses and sly remarks. Maybe that was why we’d make a better match.

But when Nadia looked up at me, there was a desperate kind of appeal in her eyes. “I’ve known Jasper my whole life, Vail. He had it really hard growing up. Not just the alphason expectations, but with his family. His brothers only came along recently, and his parents weren’t very nice people to be around. Their house was either chilly, or raging hot from their last fight. He must have been about ten when he told me he didn’t believe in love, because he’d never felt it.” She gave my arm a squeeze. “But he felt it with you, Vail. And things haven’t changed that much.” I only realized I was crying when she took a Kleenex from her pocket and handed it to me. “When we feel something so strongly, the right thing isn’t always obvious. I’m not making excuses. Just… talk to him, maybe.”

I didn’t respond – mainly because I was blubbing into the tissue – and since I’d already complained of stomach cramps, Ms. Costa sent me into her office until the end of the period. I put my head down on her desk and tried to rest, but my belly really was hurting. And my heart felt pretty battered, too. I must have dozed, because when I looked up, Ms. Costa was taking some photographs from an envelope on her desk. She laid them out in front of me, and I tried to blink the fuzz from my sore eyes.

“That’s Parker West,” she told me. “My grandma asked around and got them together for you. He was a bit of an enigma, so there aren’t many. And none with your mom, unfortunately. But it’s still nice to have them.”

“It is,” I whispered, and sat forward to study them. A man in his late twenties looked back at me, but he wasn’t what I was expecting. He had a slight build and sharp cheekbones, emphasized by his swept-back hair. I couldn’t tell what color it was, but in every picture his beautiful blue eyes were the centerpiece. He looked kind, and thoughtful, and nothing like me at all.

Ms. Costa had stood back to give me some room, but now she looked at her watch. “You need to get to your next class, Vail. But they’re copies, so you can take them with you.”

“Thanks.” I gathered them together and put them back in the envelope, my legs wobbling under me a little when I stood. I forced a smile on my face as I ducked past her. I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t grateful, but I’d been kind of hoping to see some sort of answer in my father’s face. Proof that I really was a part of the Marshall pack, and not just a name on a birth certificate I never knew existed.

I was still feeling off-balance when I walked into the locker room. I was already braced for another run-in with Pearl and her minions, but seeing Jasper sitting on a bench with his head hanging down knocked the last breath out of me. Along with Nadia’s pleas to give him a chance to explain.

“You better be waiting for Pearl,” I muttered as I walked over to my locker, “because I have nothing to say to you.”

He was off the bench so fast, I didn’t see him move until he was right behind me. I tried to turn, but he wrapped his arms around my front, and that last breath came back into me in a whoosh. He buried his face in my limp ponytail and made a choking sound that went straight to my belly. “I hate this, Vail. Not seeing you, not being with you…”

I tried to pull away, but it just put me flat against my locker. “You know where I am!” I snapped, kicking the door in frustration. “That’s the beauty of putting a damn chip in my head, Jasper!”

He let me go then, and I whirled and pushed him back a step. He was in his uniform, but for once he looked as disheveled as Callum, and his eyes burned with alpha gold. That just pissed me off more, and I gave him another angry push. “You didn’t even warn me! Do you know what I thought when I walked into that office and saw the doctor there? All those medical instruments? And your asshole guards, holding me down? I thought it was going to be the same as the pack lab -.”

He screwed his hands into fists, and I saw golden fur gleaming at his wrists. “Never! I would never let anyone hurt you like that again.”

“What do you mean? You hurt me. With this!” I grabbed the collar at my throat, then turned to show him the scar behind my ear. “And this!”

He reached out to touch the patch of skin, but I blocked his arm. The golden glow in his eyes flared, and I could almost smell his wolf as he looked at me through lowered lashes. “I didn’t order the tracker. My mom did. I didn’t find out about it until I came to check up on you.”

I stared at him in disbelief. “Don’t lie to me, Jasper! Your pet principal walked me to the door. And then your security goons told me it was you!”

“Did they say Arras Alpha? That’s my mom. If it was me, they would have said the Clan Alpha. And I wouldn’t have done it like that. I’d never make you live through those memories of the lab. And I would have been there with you.”

I turned and pulled my uniform out of my locker. Reed had replaced the gold blazer with a Marshall one and I didn’t miss the way Jasper’s lips thinned as I dragged it over my cheer outfit. “You being there wouldn’t have made it any better. Because I would have said no, and you still would have done it. Because you can’t trust me. All because of Hunter Moon. Which I never meant-.” I broke off, horrified to find myself crying again. Marnie’s Kleenex was lost somewhere between Ms. Costa’s office and my locker, and Jasper just made things worse by swiping his thumbs across my cheeks. I shivered, both at his touch, and how hard my heart knocked against my ribs. “Don’t, Jasper.”

But he was holding me in his arms and kissing away the tears his thumbs had missed. Something broke inside me at the tender gesture and I cried harder. As they became great, sobbing gulps, he pressed my head to his chest, and ran his big hands down my back. And God help me, I loved that sensation. The warmth of his body. The rumbling purr coming from deep in his chest. And the longer he held me, the more I could feel the knots unraveling in my belly. As if his sunshine smell was healing me with every broken breath. “I’ll get that chip taken out,” he vowed. “Somewhere safe, with someone you trust. I promise, Vail.”

I hiccupped and looked up at him. “And the collar?”

His face shuttered. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but that’s for your protection.”

“What?” I gaped at him. “It didn’t protect me from Trey! Or from your goons shoving me face-first into that bench!”

He looked so furious, I expected his wolf to leap right out of his skin. “They’ll live to regret ever touching you.”

“It’s not enough.” I got my hands between us and wrenched myself free. “You can’t just say stuff like that and think it makes it all better.”

“That’s because you’re not listening to me!” He shook his head like he was as frustrated as I felt. “I’ve done it all to keep you safe!”

No. I folded my arms across my chest. He could hold Hunter Moon against me, and doubt me over Den Night, but he couldn’t say he’d put me in a containment collar for any reason other than to punish me. “You know what would make me feel safe, Jasper? If you listened to me for a goddamn minute and said you believed me! Maybe then you’d have done something useful like teaching me to defend myself, instead of putting a tracker in my head. You could have shown the rest of the school you accepted me as pack, instead of some untouchable you had to put on a leash!” My eyes narrowed, and I jerked the collar of my Marshall blazer tight around my throat. “But don’t worry. I’m with Reed now, and he’s promised to do all that and more.”

Thirty-One – Vail

---