Page 23 of Clawless

I lifted a shoulder. I’d felt the same way, but I was long past hoping for the impossible. “I nearly drove myself crazy thinking about that night when I was back home. But coming here and having Jasper treat me like this, has helped me see through all the bullshit. The only thing I’m going to focus on is getting my wolf out. Soon as she shows up, Dom Arras can stick his collar up his ass.” When Nadia’s eyes almost bulged out of her head, I snickered. “It’s your fault for making me watch Fifty Shades of Grey on pizza night.”

Eighteen – Vail

Fighting words, but I spent the rest of the weekend holed up with Nadia and Jasmine, researching omega cuffs and moaning about my new schedule. The only academic subjects I’d kept were Biology and Math, and as much as I liked Ms. Costa, cheer had ruined my taste for gym class. Every other subject had something to do with my future duties as a caregiver, which was a term that still grated down my spine. Culinary Arts and Communications were meh, yet bearable, but I screwed my nose up at Den Duties and Deportment.

“You’ll like Den Duties,” Jasmine tried to reassure me. We were lying on Nadia’s bed on Sunday afternoon, eating cupcakes another Marshall omega had made for her birthday. My new schedule was already sticky with frosting and I was tempted just to sweep it into the trash with the three polka dot wrappers in front of me. “Especially the pups! There is nothing like your first puppy pile, Vail.”

I snorted at the idea, but Nadia just rolled her eyes. “As if you can remember your first puppy pile, Jas. You would’ve been a wriggling little bundle of cluelessness.” She shot me an apologetic look. “Sorry, Vail.”

I brushed it aside, too intrigued by the conversation to get prickly about my clueless state. “So you shift when you’re only tiny?”

Nadia nodded, flicking through her History textbook. “They say the strongest shifters are born as wolves. Their mothers can go into labor in either form, but go wolf for the actual birth. It’s probably just an Old Pack myth.”

“Alphas would like you to think so,” Jasmine said, licking the last of her frosting off her wrapper. “It’s because all omegas are born as wolves. And since we’re the weakest wolves, it seems to contradict the whole concept of what a strong shifter is.”

I squirmed, wondering if I’d been born a wolf. “Do you have memories of that time, or is it the same as being a baby?”

Nadia set the textbook down and leaned back on her hands, considering. “Like all wolves, we’re born deaf and blind, and we’re a couple weeks old before we open our eyes. But as soon as we do, we start developing bonds. They say our earliest memories are the thoughts and feelings of our mothers. The warmth of our siblings. I just remember my mom’s scent. It was like cinnamon. She died when I was ten, but every time I smell apple pie, it’s like she’s giving me a secret hug.”

Jasmine grabbed her hand. “Everyone says she was an amazing wolf.”

Nadia blinked back tears and looked at me carefully. “Do you remember much about your mom, Vail?”

“Not really. I was only four when she died.” I frowned and plucked at the seam of my jeans. “I mean, I’ve always thought the memories weren’t there, but now you’ve said cinnamon…” I squirmed, rubbing the V between my brows as murky images struggled to the surface. “I kind of remember vanilla. Vanilla and sage. And I also remember… berries. Like, lots of berries. There were strawberry boxes on the windowsill, and a blueberry bush out back. When I was sick, she would feed me these mountain berries that tasted like crap…” I hugged myself, and gave a surprised laugh. “I don’t know why I forgot about that.”

“That’s so beautiful, Vail.” Jasmine reached over and gave me a hug. “Maybe there are even more memories, just waiting to come bubbling up.”

I smiled at her, feeling almost dizzy at the thought. I suddenly realized I really wanted to know more about my mom. Not just her scent, but who she was as a person. When I first moved in with Driftwood, I would lie in bed and think about all the things I would have asked my dad if he hadn’t died. Things about him, but also about my mom. He’d only given me sketchy stories about how they’d met and why they’d chosen to live in the Horn, and I’d been too young to question him. For a long time, it had felt like going to live with the Chances had been the exact opposite of a chance – more a missed opportunity to really know my parents. “That would be great,” I said softly.

Nadia picked up my schedule, wincing a bit at the frosting stains. “One of the best ways to connect with your memories is through your wolf. And there’s nothing like a pile of puppies to make an omega want to shift.”

“That’s right,” Jasmine enthused. “It stirs up the hormones and brings out all the protective instincts.”

Nadia flipped my schedule over to the semester calendar printed on the back and tapped her nail against next weekend. “Den Night. It’s when the pack’s pups are brought in and assigned to omegas for the night. Kind of like that robot baby thing the humans do, only way less weird.”

I nodded. Wolf or not, I found those crying, pooping dolls plain creepy. “Okay. I mean, that feels a bit like leaping in the deep end, but it could be good.”

“Since you haven’t shifted, they’ll partner you up,” Nadia reassured me. “I’ll talk to Jasper and see if we can do it together.” Her gaze dipped to my collar. “I know he really wants you to meet your wolf, and this is a safe, friendly environment.”

I could still hear him telling me until I found my wolf, and learned my place, he wouldn’t trust me and had to grit my teeth to keep the smile on my face. “Thanks, Nadia.”

No doubt sensing my darkening mood, Jasmine blew out a breath, and grabbing Nadia’s History textbook, went back to the other topic we’d been tossing around all weekend. “We’re not going to find anything practical about omega cuffs in a book. We need to go on a field trip.”

My stomach flipped at the thought of the last field trip I’d been on. What had started out as an informative tour of the Clan Caves had turned into a lesson in humiliation. “Not if it involves tight spaces and getting naked.”

Nadia bit back a smile at my sour tone. “Let’s start with the new security guards. They’re trained professionals. And if things go sideways, at least they’re wearing body armor.”

The field trip was more of a social experiment, and the two Omega House security guards my guinea pigs. We decided the best way to test the impact of the omega cuff was to walk up and casually offer them both a cupcake. I chose the two slathered in the most frosting, and thumbing the button on my shirt, headed in their direction, while my friends watched from the lobby chairs. They could have been the same guys from the night of the dinner dance; early thirties, muscular, with hard eyes and down-turned mouths. My stomach pinched as I thought of the Black Denners. But Nadia was right. These guys were professionals. Right down to their shiny black chest plates and thousand-yard stares.

They were standing either side of the front door, as if sitting at the desk in the guard room was too pedestrian for their liking. I think they sensed me before they saw me, because they both stiffened. But even when I gave them a friendly hello, they kept their eyes trained on the glass doors in front of them. “One of the omegas is having a birthday,” I chirped, willing them to look my way. “She went a bit overboard with the baking. I thought you might like a treat?” When neither of them responded, I thrust the cupcakes in their direction. “They’re delicious! And only about a thousand calories.”

Instead of cracking a smile, the guy on the right said, “We’d appreciate it if you would return to your room, Omega.”

I glanced back at the girls, lifting my brows in a what next gesture. Jasmine just helpfully waved me towards their stiff backs, so I decided to try a different tack. “I’m thinking I’d like to get an off-campus pass for the weekend. I have this new bit of jewelry, and I’d really love to buy a matching pair of earrings…”

Weak, but I figured the comment deserved at least a glance. If only to tell me I had no hope in hell of getting a pass out of Dom Arras’s uptight ass. But the same guard just lifted his radio, thumbing a button until it crackled to life. The look he gave me shriveled the pep right out of my smile. “If you don’t remove yourself from our immediate vicinity, we’re instructed to alert the Clan Alpha.”

I gaped at him. “Over a cupcake?”

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