Page 12 of Clawless

I had no idea what the hell he was talking about, but I mumbled something agreeable and bolted for the safety of the girls. We ran all the way back to Omega House, my hammering heart loud in my ears. I knew it was adrenaline, but I was honest enough to admit I was also dizzy with excitement at seeing Jasper. We hadn’t spoken, and I wasn’t sure the thoughts behind those golden eyes had been good ones, but I still felt drunk on the sight of him. And that itchy, jittery feeling I’d been carrying around since Hunter Moon was finally settling under my skin.

Was it my wolf? It was a subject I hadn’t let myself dwell on, but now I had to wonder if that unsettled feeling was my neglected other half. Could she have been homesick for this place? Had the distance from other shifters been making her antsy? Or was it just my stupid heart still trying to find its way back to Jasper, and what we’d had before the Hunter Moon Formal?

God, I’d missed him so damn much. I could admit it to myself now. But I had to also accept that things had changed. Maybe even broken beyond repair. His strange gold eyes had been hard to read, but there’d been no flare of curiosity. No lingering spark of affection. And worst of all, not even a glimmer of the heat I’d started to crave. If anything, he looked like he wanted to punish me… Maybe this whole tracking thing was just that. A punishment for the Wolf Fire, and for then leaving campus without his permission.

The other girls were still discussing the assembly as we flopped on Nadia’s bed. Her room was twice the size of mine, with a small sitting area and kitchenette. She immediately started boiling water for tea, and I couldn’t help but think of Mr. Wentworth. He was another person I was dreading seeing. Not because I had feelings for him, but because he’d been there at the end. He’d carried me from that bed in the rose cottage, down to the mineral pool. He’d seen me at my very worst. And then he’d handed me over to Trey Barakat like I was a parcel that needed delivering.

I still didn’t understand why. He’d said he was a Marrow wolf, that we were kin. So, why hadn’t he helped me fix things here, instead of sending me away? He’d told me he was doing what my dad wanted, but I had to assume that was a lie. Maybe Trey got to him somehow. Blackmailed him, or threatened him with the mountain mafia if he didn’t play along. Jasmine caught me gnawing on my lip and cuddled in close. “You okay, Vail?”

“I was just thinking about Mr. Wentworth. He helped me out on Hunter Moon and I thought I should go see him. Thank him for being there when I needed him.”

Nadia turned with a worried look. “Oh, he’s not here anymore, Vail. He left the academy last week.”

“What?”

Jasmine gave me a solemn nod. “The rumors are he’s gone back to England.”

“Ireland,” I muttered. My Hunter Moon memories were a mess, but I remembered the gist of the words he’d spat at Pearl when she called me desperate. I’d pieced it together with Google translator, and it was an Irish proverb that meant a beetle recognizes a beetle. Or, it takes one desperate bitch to know another desperate bitch. In a roundabout way, I think he’d been defending me.

“He just seems different, somehow,” Jasmine was saying, and I tuned back into the conversation just as Nadia handed us both a cup of peppermint tea. “And I don’t just mean the eyes.”

“Can you blame him?” Nadia clicked her tongue and settled on the edge of her bed. “He’s the youngest Pack Alpha in clan history. And the way he ascended…”

“Ascended?” Both girls looked at me, and I realized we’d moved from Mr. Wentworth to Jasper.

Nadia cleared her throat. “You know how Jasper became Pack Alpha, don’t you, Vail? The night of the Hunter Moon Formal, he forced his dad into a blood claw challenge.”

“What?” I struggled to make sense of what she was saying. I’d seen the blood claw in Biology class. I knew it was part of some alpha challenge. My stomach pitched into my shoes as a horrible thought began to form. “He fought his dad? Did he… hurt him?”

The two girls exchanged a long look. “Well, yes. That’s how alphas ascend, Vail. They can only control the pack if they win the challenge, or the other wolf backs down.” Nadia bit her lip. “Jasper’s dad didn’t yield, and he died in the fight.”

My head spun, and I dropped it into my hands. “Why?” The word came out in a broken whisper. “Why did he have to challenge his dad?” Silence greeted my question and I looked up at them through my tears. “Do you know what happened?”

Jasmine dropped to her knees and crawled over to me. I’d spilled my tea, and she took the cup away and dabbed at the stain on my jeans with a napkin. “It’s not your fault, Vail. Alpha Arras – Jasper’s father – was a really hard man. He was ruthless with the younger shifters. And he was pretty vocal about what he thought of low-ranking wolves. He’d always controlled Jasper with an iron fist. Literally. And if he wanted to stop him from seeing you…”

I lifted my head, but I was looking into the past. Back to the Hunter Moon Formal when Jasper and I went outside for some air. His father had come along in his big black car and we’d got into a god-awful fight. I’d kicked his bodyguard in the balls and Jasper and his dad had exchanged blows… But then Pearl had appeared, and Jasper had to go with his dad or watch the bitch break my neck. I’d been so caught up in the Wolf Fire’s spell, I hadn’t stopped to think what happened next. If Jasper had patched things up with his dad, or if their fight had escalated. “He called me a void,” I whispered. “Jasper challenged his dad because of me?”

“No,” Nadia said firmly. “This is the life of shifters, Vail. Alphas are built to rule, and they don’t give up leadership easily. Sometimes they can come to an agreement and the older wolf steps down, but mostly it’s by challenge. Everyone knew Jasper’s dad would never yield, so it was always going to end in a fight.”

I was listening to her, but I was also lost in the words she didn’t say. Jasper could have died that night. He’d challenged an older, ruthless alpha to a fight to the death. And even if I wasn’t the cause, my pack status must have played a part. And while the old alpha had been an asshole, he’d still been Jasper’s dad. I thought of the hard gleam in his eye as he’d stood on the stage. Scary Alpha. But how could I blame him? After what he’d been through, I was surprised any of the old Jasper was left at all.

I pushed Jasmine’s hand away and got shakily to my feet. “I can’t talk about this anymore. I don’t feel well.”

The girls were instantly contrite, but I shook my head at their apologies and headed to the door. “I’m just going to go lie down for a while.”

“Do you want us to bring you some lunch?” Jasmine was wringing her hands, but I couldn’t even force a reassuring smile.

“No, I’m going to sleep for a while. Sorry.” I couldn’t look at their pale faces a moment longer, and jerked the door open so hard, the hinges shrieked at the abuse. I cringed at the sound, then muttered, “I should never have come back here.”

***

I slept through lunch, and when the rest of the house emptied out as the other girls went to class, I stayed in my room, too heartsick to move. Part of me wanted to go straight to Jasper and hear the truth for myself. Even if he screamed at me, and cursed me for ruining his life, it had to be better than the violent images tearing through my mind.

He must hate me. And not just for getting high on Wolf Fire and putting his best friends at risk. I had felt so bad about nearly luring them to their deaths. But the awful irony was that Jasper had already put someone under his blood claw that night. When he’d come and found me in a compromising position with his lieutenants, he must have been reeling from the challenge with his dad. And I’d nearly made him kill for a second time.

My first instinct was to run. To get as far away from this world of blood claws and pack ranks as possible. But he’d made it pretty clear that all omegas were on lockdown. He might not have put a tracker in me yet, but that didn’t mean he’d let me just waltz off campus. And who was to say the Black Denners weren’t out there, just waiting to cart me off to the Marrow Alpha?

As the afternoon gave way to twilight, I felt a new resolve forming. If I couldn’t leave, I had to avoid Jasper at all costs. I wasn’t going to hurt him further by being a constant reminder of what had happened to his dad. I couldn’t undo that, but I could disappear into the background as much as possible. No more drama. No more fighting the way things were done. Which meant making a real effort with my new pack. So that no one doubted I was a Marshall wolf, and happy to be so.

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