Page 37 of Heartless

I sniffed, realizing my cheeks were wet, and for once I couldn’t blame it on the dust. But I lifted my chin and added, “I’m open to any suggestions.”

I could see a thousand questions brimming in the girls’ eyes, but they deferred to the school nurse, who said, “I’d like to see him, if you’ll allow it. I brought a basic med kit with me, along with some of my own remedies, but I’ll need to assess him first.”

I nodded, and Theo gestured to a bulky backpack he’d carried in. “I have the books you mentioned, including some of my own notes from over the years. If I could ask you a few more questions, I could filter the information. Give you something specific to work with.”

I nodded again, then reached across the table to Nadia. She clutched her small hands in an anxious knot, but I gave them a gentle squeeze. “You once said that when Jasper was ten, he told you he didn’t believe in love, because he’d never felt it. I know how much you care about him, Nadia, and I’m hoping just by being near him, letting him hear your voice, you could help him find his way back to us.” She was crying openly, but she squeezed my hand tight. “You also said when we feel something strongly, the right thing isn’t always obvious,” I went on, then turned to Marnie. “You’ve always seen things others miss. Can you be my second pair of eyes, Marnie? Pull me up if I pass over something that could help us?”

“Of course.” The girls both exchanged a determined look, and I knew that by nightfall, they’d have come up with more clever ideas than if I’d spent a month doing nothing else.

Jasmine was already on her feet, her fingers itching so badly she tucked them under her armpits. “Um, how about I have a peek in the kitchens?” She looked at the ration packs and water bottles Liam had set out on the table. “Not that these snacks aren’t great, but a well-nourished soul is kind of my specialty.”

I grinned my agreement, but as everyone dispersed, the school nurse came up to me with a divot between her eyes. “My name is Elise, Clan Luna. I just wanted to introduce myself properly and explain that I’m a generalist healer. Most Clan Alphas would insist on being treated by a doctor, and preferably a specialist.” She frowned at her medical kit. “I have a few ideas, based on what you’ve said, but this may be beyond my ability.”

I took her arm in a gentle grip and began leading her towards the healing pool. “Thanks for coming, Elise. And I understand. But I think you’re exactly what we need. Nothing about this is normal for a Clan Alpha. And a specialist isn’t any good when we have no idea why his wolf left.”

Elise’s hand covered mine, her fingers trembling a little. “Left? Oh, I’m so sorry, Clan Luna.” She paused outside the rock pool room, her head tilted as she worked through a thought. “Although, if you don’t mind me saying, this might be a good thing. Not the injury, but his wolf’s reaction. Our animal selves work differently to our human ones. In times of trauma, or uncertainty, their instinct is to retreat. To wait and observe.” She gave me a small smile. “They then have a habit of picking the exact right moment to return and save our skins.”

I hoped that was the case, but Jasper’s wolf had disappeared well before the Denner attack. And if a blood claw at his throat hadn’t been the exact right moment for some wolf heroics, I wasn’t sure what it would take. Plus, I was learning that while animals operated on instinct, they could also be stubborn and temperamental. Lose a human’s trust, and maybe you could win it back with an apology and a bit of groveling. But an animal that felt betrayed would rarely return to the hand that had injured it.

I stayed with Elise while she gave Jasper a physical, then left her and Charlie rooting through her medical kit and planning their next steps. I felt a little deflated that Jasper hadn’t sat up and given me his sunshine smile, but that was just stupid. It was going to take time. And more than just wishful thinking.

When I got back to the communal room, a delicious aroma was already wafting out of the kitchens and I perked up a little. I could hear Nadia and Jasmine discussing Jasper’s favorite dishes, and guessed they were taking the approach of luring his wolf out by his stomach. It was as good a tactic as any, and I walked back over to the table, where Theo was now surrounded by an arrangement of books. When I slid into the seat opposite, I recognized one of them from under the glass case in the rare book room. I knew it was old and delicate, and I was surprised he’d take it out of the library, let alone bring it into a dusty cave.

Reading the question in my eyes, he shrugged and took out a pair of black-rimmed glasses. “What good is a book if we don’t use it in times like this?”

“Thank you, Theo. I know how much it means to you. And just so you know, I haven’t told anyone about your rare book room.” I shot a meaningly look towards the girls in the kitchen. “The only secrets I plan to spill are mine. And Jasper’s, if that’s the only way to help him.”

Theo nodded, his eyes a deep velvet blue inside their dark frames. “Based on your message, I brought a range of technical and historical texts. But I’m curious you mentioned rogues. When exactly did the Clan Alpha’s wolf sever ties with him?”

That was an interesting way of putting it. As if the man and the animal could separate themselves at will. “Jasper said it was on the night of the Frost Moon. He’d just found out I was mated to Callum.”

I expected an awkward beat, since I was talking about his cousin, but Theo was already flicking through one of the books. “Rogues exist because the human’s spirit has been damaged in such a way they can no longer connect with their animal. But this sounds like it was Jasper’s wolf who was hurt by your mating.”

I winced. “I get that feeling, too. And I think it only got worse when I bit him.”

Theo stared at me for a moment, then said delicately, “Perhaps you used the wrong set of teeth?”

I snorted before I could stop myself. “Another strong possibility.”

“Then I take it your other animal isn’t a raptor.”

“No. I’m more a… Sylvester to your Tweety Bird.”

“Ah!” Instead of looking alarmed, he tilted his head, and his eyes danced with mischief. “I thought I detected a little purr when I was showing off my feathers.”

“Yes. Well.” I cleared my throat. “I didn’t realize there could be… more than one way to bite someone.” His amusement deepened, while I tried to explain this without coming off completely clueless. “I’d never shifted, so I assumed I was a dud. And then when I realized I was something else, I just figured that meant I didn’t have a wolf.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t clarify.” Theo sat back in his seat, his humor replaced by a pensive look. “But remember, a bite is just one connection between shifters. My guess is that Jasper’s wolf has considered you his mate for some time. Given the severity of his reaction, it would suggest his feelings run very deeply.”

I pressed a finger to the pale crescent scar on my wrist. Callum’s was a fresher, darker mark, and not for the first time I wished I could go back and find another way to protect my secret. Regrets were hard, and I seemed to be earning a diploma in them at the academy, but I vowed right then to do better. Next time something tried to come between us, I’d fight like hell before I let it cause Jasper or his wolf any more harm.

Catching sight of Marnie coming out of the kitchen, I waved her over and gave a shudder of pleasure when I saw she had a plate of steaming hot chocolate chip cookies in her hands. “Jasmine said to say they’re just out of a box for now, but she’s writing a shopping list,” she told us, setting the plate on the table. “She’d like you to give it to the Clan Enforcer, since she’s not sure a grocery run falls under the category of an emergency.”

“Give him one of these and it will,” Theo said, taking a huge bite of his cookie.

“Agreed.” I gathered up a handful and looked at Marnie. “Can we go chat? I’d like to catch you up on a few things.”

She nodded excitedly, snagging a cookie for herself and leaving a happy Theo with the rest. I took her through to the Clan Alpha’s sleeping quarters, and she cocked a brow at the bedding still in its plastic wrapper. “Have you had any sleep at all, Vail?”

---