Page 210 of Sin Bin

She held her breath, waiting for his response.

It was a long time before he started talking. “I was excited about turning five. My mom had been talking about it for weeks, saying what a big deal milestone birthdays were. I think she was even more excited than I was. But when the day came…I could tell something was wrong with her. She seemed sad that morning, and she had to blink away tears every time she looked at me. I thought maybe she felt bad because she didn’t have enough money to buy me a present. I knew we were poor, so I wasn’t really expecting any gifts. She baked me chocolate cupcakes and said she was taking me someplace special for my birthday, but first she had to stop by her job to pick up her paycheck. When we got to the casino, she told me to go wait at the booth where I always sat while she worked. She said she’d only be a few minutes. As I started to walk off, she suddenly grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug, telling me how much she loved me. It felt…off. Like she was saying goodbye.”

He stared out the windows, lost in his painful memories. “After some time, her boss noticed me sitting at the booth and came over. He didn’t understand what I was doing there without my mom. He told me it wasn’t payday, and she hadn’t stepped foot in his office that morning. While the other waitresses started looking around for her, he tried reaching her at home. When she didn’t answer the phone, I started freaking out. I thought something bad must have happened to her. Then I started telling myself that she’d gone somewhere to pick up my birthday present, and she was planning to surprise me.”

He swallowed tightly and looked down at his tattooed arm, thick lashes shadowing his cheeks. “I had nowhere else to go, so her boss took me home with him that night. I still remember the look on his face when he opened my bookbag and saw that my mom had packed my toothbrush, some clothes and toys, and my birth certificate. In that moment, he knew what I didn’t: She wasn’t coming back.”

Logan closed his eyes, fighting raw emotion. “The next morning he called CPS to come get me. He assured me that it was only temporary. He looked me right in the eye and told me that my mom would be back soon, even though he knew that was a lie. I waited and waited for her. The next day came and went with no sign of her. One week turned into a month, and I was still waiting for her to come back and get me. Twenty years later, as a grown fucking man, I still clung to the ridiculous hope that she would reappear someday and tell me it was all just one big misunderstanding.”

His heartrending words brought a rush of warm tears to Meadow’s eyes. She kissed the back of his neck and buried her face in his hair, grief and sorrow nearly overwhelming her.

He breathed deeply, working to keep his voice steady and his emotions under control. “At least I finally have some closure.”

“That’s true.” Meadow sniffled. “But there’s still so much you don’t know about why she left or what her life was like in Argentina—”

“I don’t want to know.” The words were raw, bitter. “If she went there and started a new family, it would make her desertion so much fucking worse.”

Meadow’s throat tightened. She silently agreed with him.

“Your father must have come clean and told his family about you. Your siblings—”

“I already knew about them,” Logan said gruffly. “I used to see them in commercials when I lived in Toronto, and they follow me on social media.”

“Really? Do you follow them back?”

“No, but I’ve seen their Instagram pages. They seem like rich, spoiled brats.”

Meadow smiled a little as she began massaging his shoulders. His muscles were hard, bunched with tension.

“Do you think you’ll ever call your father?” she asked softly.

“No.” His voice was cold, his answer unequivocal. “Hell no.”

She nodded slowly. “I don’t blame you.”

As he sank into a brooding silence, she quietly sloshed more bubble bath into the water. Then she wrapped her legs around his waist and urged his head back against her chest. When he didn’t resist, she poured handfuls of warm water over his head, gently massaging the fragrant suds into his black hair.

He closed his eyes, seeming to relax as her fingers combed through the silky strands and stroked his scalp.

When he finally spoke again, his voice was so low she wondered if the words were actually meant to be heard. “I lost my virginity when I was eight years old.”

Her hands stilled, and she stared down at his face.

His voice had no inflection. “I guess ‘lost’ isn’t really the right word. It was taken from me.”

A sick feeling settled in Meadow’s stomach. “What do you mean?”

He sat up slowly, water streaming down his face as he wrapped his arms around his legs again. “When I was eight, I lived with a foster family that had a daughter named Cheyenne. She was twenty-one years old and she took classes at the local community college. I thought she was pretty, and she was the only one in the family who was nice to me. Her brother treated me like a stray dog off the street. Her mother tolerated me because she wanted the checks. Her father barely acknowledged me, which I didn’t mind because he was an abusive, raging alcoholic who couldn’t stay out of the casinos. The more money he lost on the slots, the more pissed off he was when he came home. And when he was pissed off and drunk, things got real ugly,” Logan recalled grimly. “His wife would always warn him not to hit me because she didn’t want my social worker to find out and take me away. Like I said, those monthly checks were all she cared about.”

Meadow sat motionless, barely breathing as Logan rested his chin on his knees, his eyes closing before he continued speaking. “One day when I was walking past Cheyenne’s room, I heard her crying. She saw me and called my name. When I went into her room, she invited me to sit next to her on the bed. She told me she’d just broken up with her boyfriend because he cheated on her. I didn’t really know what to say, but I figured I should try to cheer her up with some jokes. So that’s what I was doing when she suddenly leaned over and kissed me. I was stunned. I knew it was wrong for her to be kissing me. It felt wrong. But when I pushed her away, she started crying again. I was scared and confused. I wanted to get the hell out of there, but I felt sorry for her. So I stayed. And before I knew what was happening, she was undressing me and…doing things to me.” A shudder ran through him, the pain of excavating traumatic memories roughening his voice. “When it was over, she begged me not to tell anyone. She said if her father ever found out, he’d kill both of us. I knew she was right, so I promised to keep our…relationship a secret.”

Meadow listened in horrified silence, reeling from every word.

“After that day, she started sneaking into my room late at night when everyone else was asleep. After three months, she started getting too comfortable, and it made her sloppy and careless. One afternoon when we were home alone again, she came to my room and said she wanted to give me a special blowjob. That’s what she was doing when her father came home early and caught us. I’ll never forget the enraged look on his face. The shock and disgust. He grabbed Cheyenne by her hair and yanked her off me, then started yelling and beating the shit out of her.

“On one hand, I was glad that we’d gotten caught. Now that our dirty little secret was out, I knew the abuse would finally stop. On the other hand, I was scared because he was really whaling on Cheyenne, and I thought he was going to kill her. So I got up and flew at him, kicking and punching him with everything I had. But I was just a kid, so there was only so much damage I could inflict. Once he turned all his rage on me, I didn’t stand a chance. He fucked me up so bad that I ended up in the ER with a concussion, two black eyes, a broken arm and four broken ribs. I came out of surgery surrounded by my social worker and the police. Both Cheyenne and her father had been arrested for child abuse.” Logan’s back expanded on a deep breath followed by a heavy sigh. “And that’s how I spent my ninth birthday.”

“Oh my God, Logan!” Meadow cried tearfully, sickened and appalled. “That happened on your birthday?”

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