Page 66 of Dead End

I was protected, and it reminded me that even when I wanted to hate them, I couldn’t help but love every single one of these assholes that stole my heart so long ago. When I thought about it, everything they ever did made sense. I really should have caught on earlier. Little snippets of that last few months before graduation came back to me in waves.

“Miss Hallowell!” Mr. Myers' voice echoed loudly through the crowded hallway. Students were scurrying around, trying to get to their next class on time, but I heard him, even through my headphones.

The noise level was deafening as I pulled out an earbud. Seniors rushed past me, chatting with their friends, and the excitement of the weekend made everything louder. Mr. Myers was frantically waving me down as I pushed through the bodies with my books held tight to my chest, elbows shoving roughly into my sides. People snickered when I was jostled into a locker or tripped over someone's foot. They thought it was hilarious to make a target out of the loner goth girl who used to be a queen bee.

“October, please see me in my office. We haven’t had a session in a while,” Mr. Myers said, loud enough for the eavesdropping athletic assholes to hear. They were crowded right outside the school counselor’s office door, apparently just for this.

Their smiles made my skin crawl. They wanted to make my life a living hell, but the funny thing was, I’d already been to hell, and I found I preferred it to this fucking place. So the joke’s on them. I just wanted to crawl into a little hole and stay there long enough to hide from the world, only popping out to pretend for my aunties so they wouldn’t feel the need to ship me off to the looney bin.

I followed the counselor into his boring, ordinary office painted in a gross-looking taupe, staring pityingly at the poster of a baby ducky behind his desk and wondering what in the world he’d been thinking.

“Don’t be the follower; be the leader,” the duck poster said in bold white Comic Sans. I shivered.

How about I just do neither? I’ll just stick to being me, October, the girl who wakes up every morning wondering when time will speed the fuck up so I can get out of here and far away from my tormentors.

Speak of the devil, and he will arrive. The door opened the moment I sat down with my bookbag between my legs. I turned to see Jason walking inside, looking pissed off as usual when he saw me in the chair.

“Ah, Mr. Evans. Thanks for coming. Have a seat.” Mr. Myers gestured to the empty chair next to me, and I didn’t even bother to hide my annoyance.

If the rest of the guys showed up, I was out of there and didn’t give a damn what anyone said. I couldn’t even breathe without one of them jumping down my throat, goading me to punch their smug faces as they made a laughing stock of me in front of their teammates and friends. I wouldn’t normally care, since being inside my own head with just my thoughts for company was fine, but the constant bullying got to me sometimes.

The shoves that happened to make me fall to the ground at their feet, the name-calling that set my eyes blazing with murder, and the pranks that still make me cringe to this day. I couldn't count the times I’d had trash thrown over my hair, and damnit, I loved my hair. It was especially cruel on their end because they knew this. I thought what got to me most was knowing that at least one of them went on real, actual dates with the girls who made fun of me just because of how I looked.

“I’ve called you both in here today to discuss an issue that’s come to my attention. You see, friends grow apart or sometimes blossom into more, but I wanted you two to talk about what happened yesterday afternoon after school. Mr. Evans, you’re supposed to be an outstanding role model for your basketball team, but to get your teammates to attack Miss Hallowell is crossing the line.” Mr. Myers threaded his fingers together and placed his elbows on his desk, raising a brow as he waited for Jason to say something.

I knew I had nothing to say and was absolutely not willing to talk about or relive the trauma they’d caused me yesterday.

“What are you talking about?” Jason growled darkly, leaning on the edge of his seat and shooting daggers at my profile, but I didn't bother looking at him.

“You didn’t know about this? It’s a shame that it’s come to this, but I expect you to get your team in order. Whip them into shape or there will be consequences, possibly ending in someone getting kicked off the court.” Mr. Myers clucked his tongue and slowly shook his head in disappointment.

It set my teeth on edge, realizing how no one in this damn school cared about anyone hurting inside, just like what happened to our sports team.

“What happened?” Jason’s knuckles were clenching the wood of his chair as he hissed at the counselor.

“It would seem after school, two of your teammates cornered Miss Hallowell under the bleachers and... well, did some unmentionable things.” He threw me a pitiful look that only had my molars grinding.

I was about to bolt, my hands shaking, because there was no way Jason and the guys hadn’t put Howard and Eddie up to it yesterday. Their cruelty extended beyond the four of them, and I was fed up with it all.

“What. Did. They. Do?” Jason demanded, and I didn’t understand why he was pretending. He probably set the whole thing up.

“They duct taped Miss Hallowell to the bleacher poles... in her underwear, and spat some very ugly words at her. I believe something about your parents?” Mr. Myers glanced at me for confirmation, scratching his head, and I had to wonder how the hell he was a counselor when he appeared to have no real concern for his students.

He was the one to find me taped to the pole in utter humiliation and exposure as he walked out to his car. He didn’t report it to anyone but gave them a slap on the wrist as he ordered them to get me down. So yeah, I was in this idiot’s office waiting for the floor to swallow me up and spit me out so I could finally sleep.

It was almost scary quiet for a few minutes, and I nearly jumped out of my chair when Jason’s chair squeaked over the linoleum as he turned to me. I didn’t look his way. I couldn’t take the laughing, mocking eyes staring back at me, so I continued looking at the duck picture behind Mr. Myers.

“What about your parents?” He asked so softly that I almost didn’t hear him. Just to give the sick bastard what he wanted, I told him exactly what Eddie and Howard said. I just wanted Jason to leave me the fuck alone.

“How does it feel not having parents, freak? Don’t you wish you could just die too? Maybe you’ll stop acting like a zombie and just become one.’” I ground my teeth as I repeated it and grabbed the strap of my bag with tears in my eyes.

Jason didn’t say a word. He literally just got up and left, with a flabbergasted Mr. Myers yelling after him. I for sure wasn’t going to stick around if he didn’t have to, so I bolted before Mr. Myers could stop me. It was a waste anyway, and yeah, I cried for a long time, until my makeup ran down my face and my eyes burned. Maybe Eddie and Howard weren’t so far off.

Who would care if I dropped off the face of the earth besides the aunties and Maddie? No one. Maybe that’s why I dragged my feet like a zombie every day, with only music to keep me above water. I went from class to class in a daze, not rushing through the hallways once the final bell rang like everyone else, and I didn’t look up from my feet until I stepped outside the front of the school.

A large crowd was gathered around the flagpole, and when I pushed my way through to get to the buses, I stopped in my tracks with my jaw dropping to the ground.

Duct-taped to the flagpole were Howard and Eddie, completely stripped down to their underwear as students laughed and took pictures. They cursed behind their taped mouths, wiggling to try to get free. I stopped staring at them, scanning the parking lot, and stopped on the cherry red Mustang with four of my ex-best friends leaning on the bumper, small smirks displayed on their faces. My gaze connected with Jason’s for a split second, and I knew he did this. Did he do it for me?

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