Page 4 of Screw Christmas
He gave me a quick up and down. “So that’s a no on the beer? Food?”
I stood staring at him a long moment. Had I just stepped into the twilight zone? It was as if the past two decades hadn’t happened.
“Yes. Fine. I’ll get you a beer,” I confirmed, “Anything else I can get you? And don’t be pressing play on that until I’m ready to watch it. This isn’t your house, you know.”
“Okay. Okay.” The movie was paused again. “You already have that movie memorized; do you think you’re going to catch something this year that you didn’t see the past thirty…Umm.” He eyed me. “Thirty…Nine…”
“Thirty-eight.” Damn him and those eyes. How many times had he made me feel weak in the knees with those eyes? Countless times.
“Yeah. That’s right.”
“I’d think I’d know my own age. At least I’m not forty yet.”
“Touché.”
Shaking my head, I finished making the popcorn, grabbed him a beer from the fridge, and brought the bowl of popcorn back to the sofa. I plopped down beside him placing the popcorn on the glass coffee table in front of us. “So why are you here, Dylan?” I passed him the beer and grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl, tossing it into my mouth.
“Shit. Well, it’s a bit of a long story.”
“I’m a cop. I hear long stories every day. Some more creative than others. Hit me with it and we’ll see if yours measures up.”
“Congrats on that by the way, I was really impressed when I heard. I’d never have imagined you’d be a cop one day.”
I frowned. “Why?” I knew why without even asking, but there was a sadistic, self-deprecating part of me that wanted to hear the words.
“You just weren’t the sporty type and kinda quiet. You were more of an introverted bookworm.”
“Oh, you mean I was a fat nerd. Excuse me if I enjoyed reading.”
He grimaced. “I never said that.”
Suddenly the anger I was feeling began bubbling up to the surface, making it next to impossible to hold back. I’d been meek and subdued back then, but I wasn’t that woman now. Not even close. “Funny, you had no problem saying that when we were teenagers.”
He sighed. “Look, about then. I’m sorry. There were so many factors at play. We were siblings for fuck’s sakes. I certainly didn’t expect for you to have a crush on me. And I never, ever called you a fat nerd.”
“Funny, you didn’t mind my company when none of your friends were around. But when they were around, I was the fat, desperate kid with a crush.” My entire body tensed, the hurt and anger from that moment when he’d rejected me reared its ugly head. He may not have realized it or intended it, but that night shaped the way I handled myself in relationships for the rest of my adult years. I may insist to myself it never affected me, but deep down, I knew it to be true.
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Chapter 3
Twenty-two years ago…
Maya
This dress was it. It was going to be the dress that would make Dylan see me as more than just someone he could pal around with when his friends weren’t around. This dress was going to be the dress that made him see me with an entirely different set of eyes.
I fingered the satiny black material that was lying flat on the bed to ensure it was wrinkle-free when I put it on. I’d spent a lot of time searching and went to a dozen stores in the mall looking for the perfect dress for tonight and this one was it. It was mostly black but had pencil-thin, red, vertical stripes down the length of it. I was a busty girl, so the sweetheart neckline was ideal for accenting my cleavage perfectly. I didn’t care for the flabby bits under my arms, so the three-quarter length black sleeves on the dress hid that nicely.
The dress had cost me two weeks’ salary at the Dairy Queen, but if Dylan saw me and found me attractive in it then the money would be well worth it. I’d been asked out by several boys over the years, but I had only had eyes for Dylan. Who wouldn’t though? He was the hottest boy that I knew. All the girls were after him, but they didn’t know him like I did. In public you’d think we barely knew one another, but in private we were the best of friends. I knew everything from his favorite movies and music to his secret desire to one day become an actor even though he didn’t have the confidence in himself to pursue that route. It was ironic really, the most popular boy in school who exuded confidence was insecure in his abilities and fearful of failure in the one thing he desired the most.
However, the fact that we were siblings—sort of—didn’t help when it came to progressing our relationship out of the friendzone and into something more. His father married my mother about five years ago. I’d fallen for him the moment I laid sight on him and had been harboring this crush for all these years. He was going off to college soon, three days from now to be exact, so it was now or never. I’d never have another chance if I blew this shot which made this even more stressful.
Sitting down at the vanity, I began to apply my make-up, fussing over every little detail. I had to look perfect for him so I could show him that I wasn’t just beautiful inside, but outside as well. I’d been dieting a little and taking walks nightly and had lost a few pounds, but there was a fear in me that it wasn’t nearly enough. I was still one of the thicker girls in the school.
Would I really want to be with someone so shallow anyhow?
I tried to tell myself I didn’t want someone like that as a way to brace my ego if the answer he gave me wasn’t what I wanted to hear. But that was a lie. I knew the real Dylan behind the ego and the sports and the charm. Behind it all he was sensitive and caring and dedicated to the people and things he cared about, it was all just deeply buried.
