Chapter 18

Darrin

I didn’t want Layla to see me this way. This inner pain and struggle that I’d been dealing with over the past two years was my cross to bear and no one else’s. I should have had the foresight of locking the door when I got home, as Nate and Layla were constantly dropping by.

This photo in my hands was my favourite photo of us. I took a deep breath and placed it back in the box, relocating the box of photos back onto the night side table. Looking up, my gaze locked onto hers. There was sadness and compassion in her eyes. There was also something else in her eyes, fear perhaps?

“It’s fine now. It’s over. I got the closure I needed,” I assured her.

“Good.” She gave my hand a squeeze, but there was still sadness. Things weren’t good. “I’m glad you’ve finally told me the secret you’ve been holding.”

“It wasn’t much of a secret, just painful. There was and still is a lot of guilt.”

“Guilt?”

“I’ve always felt it was my fault for letting her go in before me. If I’d gone in first it would have been me and not her. I promised to never let anything hurt her and I failed.”

Fuck, I could feel the pain welling up in me and tears threatening to emerge. This wasn’t how I wanted her to see me. I was supposed to be strong physically and mentally, but I’d been put through the emotional ringer today. She’d caught me at a weak moment.

“Do you think you’ll ever be able to move on, maybe fall in love again?”

The question took me by surprise and it dawned on me what the odd look in her eyes was. She didn’t know. Sure, I hadn’t said the words to her yet, but I’d have thought she’d have figured it out by now. We’d spent virtually every day together for the past two months, with and without my brother. Though I was very adamant about not breaking my pact with Nate only being intimate with her when we were all together. Admittedly, I had some damned hard days that ended with me frantically jacking off when she left.

“Or is it not possible after…”

As much as I had loved Gabriella and grieved her death, that was in the past. “Layla. I loved Gabriella, I’d planned to spend my life with her, but that hasn’t been my reality for over two years. My reality now is you. You’re the one I’m in love with. I have been for some time now, but due to our situation I was holding back saying the words.”

“But Nate…” She looked happy over my declaration, and confused. “I mean, I love you too.” She smiled, tears rimming her eyes. “But…”

“I can’t speak for Nate, but I will tell you that I’ve never seen him so into a woman before. EVER. To see him willing to forego any other woman to share someone with me is unheard of.”

~*~TT~*~

Layla

I didn’t know what to think or how to feel at this moment. Darrin was in love with me? But not just him, Nate as well! It was an overwhelming feeling and I had to really work at keeping tears at bay. My good news was long forgotten.

“I love you, too.” I was in love with both of them. Nate for his wildness and excitement and Darrin because he was deep and honest. They both brought amazing qualities to the table. Upon hearing this new development, I prayed the time hadn’t come where I would have to choose one. It wasn’t a matter of being greedy, but how could I choose between two amazing men that I loved with all my heart and loved me back? Part of me was thrilled at this turn of events, but another part felt a dark cloud.

We’d agreed between us that there would be no choosing—we were a trio and that was how it was going to stay. But that was before any of us fell in love. I was sure none of us expected this. But here it was looking me in the face.

He smiled at me. Everything he was feeling seemed to shine brightly and it made my heart flutter. “After Gabriella’s death, I never thought that I’d find love again, but here it is. You’re sitting here in front of me and I can’t remember ever feeling so strongly about someone. Not even Gabriella.”

I couldn’t have kept myself back from him if I tried and I wasn’t even attempting to try. Sliding my hands up his chest and locking them behind his neck, I leaned forward and I kissed him. This wasn’t a sweet or teasing kiss. It wasn’t playful or coy. I kissed him with every ounce of emotion and passion I was feeling and holding back until now.

Darrin responded without hesitation. His hand slipped into my hair to grasp the back of my head, deepening the kiss, not letting me go. My heart and body ignited as I held to him as he gently pushed me backwards onto the bed, his body leaning over mine.

My fingers grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt and began pulling it upwards as his lips left mine to place a string of kisses across my jawline. He paused his kisses long enough to assist me in removing the garment before continuing. His lips moved over my skin frantically, as if he was scared that I’d eventually disappear and he needed to make every second count.

His fingers made quick work of the buttons on my blouse, while mine worked on his belt and jeans. Articles of clothing seemed to disappear in seconds as we were both frantic in our need to feel the warmth of skin against skin.

“I’ve waited so long for you to say I love you,” I whispered in his ear before working my kisses down the length of his neck. He groaned in pleasure.

“Not nearly as long as I’ve been wanting to tell you,” he said, pulling away just long enough to look me in the eye as he replied.

“Then show me. Don’t fuck me, make love to me, Darrin.”

“I haven’t fucked you in a long while, sweetie.”